Youuuu Asian Parents...

Sriniketan · Nov 13, 2007

Hi friends,

What do you think about this title? Have you heard this phrase, before?

But in our house, it is the phrase, we usually hear, when our children's wishes are not fulfilled. It will change according to the situation they are in, like...

Youuu asian parents are 'over-protective'---- when they are denied 'sleep-overs' ( over-night stay in their friend's house) during the friend's birthday party or 'just-like' sleep-overs,

Youuu asian parents are too strict--- when we ask them to study our mother tongue, (that too only during the weekends), when they waste their time just like anything and the list goes on and on ...

My question is ' are we the only one sect of parents who are 'strict' and 'over-protective'?
I think all parents in every nook and corner of the world, do consider the welfare and future and safety of their children, but why we carry the title of 'asian parents'.
Is it due to our cultural, religious background or due to our outlook of other cultures, some of which we do not want our children to follow?
Clarify, my dear friends.

sriniketan

Shobanag · Nov 13, 2007

I know exactly what you mean! Have I heard that my dear daughter along with a roll of the eyes - you know what I mean! I have heard - all you Indian parents care about is "study, study, study"!!! Even if we say only once - that is what I heard!

By the way, I let my daughter go to sleep- overs and had girls sleep over as well. Of course, this was only to people's houses that I knew - and also after enquiring how many other kids were coming, etc - depending upon the situation, I let her go.

Vandhana · Nov 13, 2007

Hi Sri,

Well have not had this comment said to me yet!! But am sure it is bound to come up one day quite soon.
Then have to tell you this incident with my niece. My BIL , SIL and niece had to go to her school for her interview ( she was getting into first grade) . So after the interview, she came out of the principals room , followed by the princi. In their eagerness, my IL's asked her in tamil " interview nanna panniniya? " or something like that. To which my niece cooly turns back to the princi and says" you know my parents, they are Indian!!" :idontgetit:.

Like we are some kind of disease or something??? We still have a good laugh thinking about this now. Niece is in high school now.

Vandhana

Sriniketan · Nov 13, 2007

Hi Shobana,
Thanks for your FB.
my children also go over for sleep-overs, as you said, only after getting 'trustable' answers and also invite their friends here.
We had to adjust a lot in my things like these and still get this name, is somewhat made me write this.

sriniketan

Sriniketan · Nov 13, 2007

Vandhana,
Thanks for your response.
Even my cousin's wife told me today that her daughter refuses to discuss in class anything 'Indian'.
When asked her to say about 'Deepavali' for a show and tell, she says like--shall i tell them it is 'like christmas'.
Her teacher says that it may be because of the fact that she feels she is different from other students, make her talk like that. This little girl is only in pre-school.
maybe this must be in your niece's case too!

sriniketan

Shanvy · Nov 13, 2007

hi sriniketan,

Though i have not been asked that question. But my opinion yes indian parents are overprotective than other counterparts sans a few...the reason is our ingrained values....

when DD was very small 3.5yrs..and my son was a few months baby, veda was transferred to delhi... we took a flight...you will not believe, my DD used to call us appa and amma/shanthi till then...just as we got out of the flight...started daddy/mummy (which was never used at home...because veda's parents are anna/manni for the whole world..) I think the kids have a antennae...:spin.

regarding other parents...it so happened, in muscat, there were lot of omani ladies working in veda's office,there was a get together in the CEO's residence, the parent of one of the ladies, spoke to me and veda, asked us if we are going..... and then told us to take care of her.....

On a lighter note there was this discussion about asian parents by the kids...on a unicef forum..it is quite interesting insight into the workings of todays kids.... check it out.....

asian parents...??!! - Voices of Youth

Sriniketan · Nov 13, 2007

Thanks for the link, Shanthi.
After reading through those replies, i came to one conclusion that parents are same everywhere as one reply stated and nowadays the children are very practical in their approach to the problem and they discuss the pros and cons of each and every problem and try to solve it. this is a very good trend. i also saw their maturity in their outlook also.
which made me feel that this phase will also change.

one incident of the similar nature occured when my son who won't talk much, went to give us a surprise like talking few words in Tamil in India, like--'nanri' 'vanakkam' at the appropriate time which took everybody in surprise.
these children know how to behave at the given situation.

sriniketan

Shanvy · Nov 13, 2007

Hi sriniketan,

i am happy it was useful to you also...Interesting to know that kids know and adapt faster to environments than the adults.....

It is very interesting to view these kids discussions and reactions...It really gives me an insight into adolescence.....Will give you link to some of the blogs of indian kids ...(you will be surprised...and shocked also..especially chennai..shakehead) right now my bookmarks got erased..have to check out again...

Vandhana · Nov 13, 2007

Hi Sri, Shanti,

I checked out the forums, and wow it was enlightening indeed. Its nice to see these kids discuss and handle the topic so well. Sometimes i feel that we do not give teens and kids the credit they are due.

Anyway Shanti do post the links to the blogs, would love to read them.

Vandhana

Shobanag · Nov 13, 2007

Thanks for the link Shanthi - interesting to read what kids really think!!

I think it was harder for me as a parent to accept - for so many things, I used to say no to my daughter - like staying out late for example. When I would impose a specific time for her to be home - she would get upset since none of her friends parents had those restrictions - so I was labelled as the conservative parent who did not understand!! I could go one with things like this... but now that she is 18 and no longer living in the house - I seem to have a different perspective of everything.