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Youth returns in 60's!!!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by srinivasan_vanaja, Feb 25, 2008.

  1. srinivasan_vanaja

    srinivasan_vanaja Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Ladies,

    60 is the age where you retire from all the responsibilities of your life.

    But for controversial and media fame writer Shoba De, the life starts only from 60.

    Yes! the writer Shoba De celebrated her 60th B'day very recently. Amongst the women who feel shy of disclosing the age, this writer feels proud and happy for announcing her age.

    She says

    "Age is like a cage for women. This world is very glamourous. Women who touches 60 loose their fame and existence. But you need to see women who shine in various fields including Politics.....Hillary Clinton, Sonia Gandhi (and my own addition Jayalalitha - not Shoba De's).

    I wrote an essay on "Attaining 60" in a famous magazine. The feedbacks and the hounour I received was hilarious. Many women wrote to me that earlier they all felt that they were shrunk even at the age of 40, but this write up had opened their eyes.

    My school senior who is 3 years elder to me, said that she would join the Gym the very next day. That she would wear dresses of her choice. That she would not sit at home as a grandmother but would do lot of things that would make her happy. "


    Shoba says she feels very happy for this and after celebrating her 60th B'day, she had listed out her plans.

    She says -

    "I feel a great change in myself in 60 which I did not experience till my 59th. I may feel like learning "Salsa" dance. I may learn Cinema. I may go to Harvard and learn "Communications". So I told my family that I may do whatever I have listed and told them not to get shocked.

    May be at the age of 30 I did not have much opportunities to do all these. I had kids to take care of and my economic condition was not that good. But now my children are grown up and they are prepared to stand on their own legs. Now I have lot of strength to perform what I think and feel. So I do."


    Though Shoba has many faces like a writer, journalist and small screen fame - she likes the responsibilities of being a "Mother".

    She says - "The relation with the children is everlasting and never ends with just cutting of the placenta. The responsibilities of a mother changes as they grow. This relation gives them a confidence that we are there for them at all times."

    Shobha has two daughters - Avanthika and Arundhathi.

    You may feel that women who speak about women's liberation would have had lot of restrictions like male chauvinism. But Shoba's husband and father are not of that kind.She says proudly - "My father not only made me happy with his kind words, he gave his shoulders for my growth. Even my husband and daughters are like that.

    Now my next book would be on "India". This book is very dear to me as it would speak about my country. After India got independence, during these 60 years many books have been published. How is my book going to be different? I am also of same 60. I write on India from a woman point of view. I am not just going to fill up the book with only statistics. I am going to write about the other side, the affection and feelings that I have for India."


    It is really a surprise when Shoba's books do not create controversies. She writes "Imaginary Stories" a lot. Mostly her stories are compared to her real life by readers and people.

    She says -"When you write these kind of stories, you may create a character according to your own imagination. The imagination has no barriers. It is not necessary that we have met those characters in real life and may even write which is not possible in real life. It is a facility to we writers. But people and readers think that those characters and incidents are related to our (writer's) real life."

    "For example - Kushwant Singh a male writer, writes a lot of crime stories. Can we question him like how many murders he had done to write crime stories? So, I never bother about the controversies that arise out of my writing." says cooly.

    Her other plans are - Small Screen events, Fashion designing, acting and goes on.....

    Its a truth, that she is going to have a great life after 60.

    What about you all?
     
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  2. Bhooma

    Bhooma Bronze IL'ite

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    I am a great fan of Shobha De and have read almost all of her books .

    Only when youth is lost does the need for it to 'return" arises !!

    Most women think they are "finished' "kaput' once they are married and have children . why should that be ? enjoy life each day .. each day should bring something new and joyous for you .

    Shobha De had the gumption to remarry a man who had kids of his own and as the story goes .. they all live(d) happily ever after .

    But Shobha De had one factor in her favor - which many women dont have. She had the money, the name,( she is from the Kilachand family) the power . So whatever she did .. was accepted - albeit grudgingly. Pray tell me, how many women in a normal middle class society have the guts to do that ? I wonder .

    When I read so many posts by young girls - FIL insults my parents, husband doesnt talk to me, SIL ill treats me .. I feel sad. Why cant they be more bold ? It all boils down to - what will society say ? so they silently suffer .. and sadly for these young girls .. their youth is lost even when they are in their 30s.

    But for all those fortunate ones .. youth does return ... even as early as 50.. if you have the means to indulge in whatever you want to do ( it could be as simple as attending a painting class which you couldnt do when you were younger for various reasons )

    As for me, I gingerly stepped into the swimming pool for my first swimming class when I was 47, seriously took up yoga when I was 51.... the list is long .

    others out there like me ... share ur experiences?.

    cheers

    Bhooma
     
  3. srinivasan_vanaja

    srinivasan_vanaja Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Bhooma,

    I really overwhelmed seeing your spirit.

    As said by you, those "finished" women got inspired by Shoba's writing and have taken new decisions. And I have put up this thread only for those "finished" women.

    Ilites who have crossed 60 and nearing 60 please come out with your endeavour(s).
     
  4. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Nice one, Vanaja!
    As I am not the one who is nearing 60s, i will keep an eye on this thread because I may enter it in 2 decades.
    Moreover I need an answer from the 60+ what will happen after 60 or it is according to the proverb---Naarpadhil naai gunam, arubadhil.....

    sriniketan
     
  5. SoaringSpirit

    SoaringSpirit Silver IL'ite

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    Very nice thread Vanaja. You always come up with thought provoking topics!

    Bhooma, you pointed one critical factor so correctly. The factor about financial stability. Yes, if one has to fight for the basics then there is no energy left for doing anything else. Luckily, for most people of my generation financial stability is not a deterring factor.

    Bhooma, I admire your upbeat spirit! It is surely infectious!

    I like Shobha De for the way she has maintained herself both physically and mentally. I also like her “don’t care” attitude.

    I think every decade brings a new turning point in one’s life, especially in the life of women. Right now, in my 30s I am a very busy mother trying to do the best I can for my kids. In addition to this, I am trying to figure out my role in various areas that I am passionate about. They say that a woman in her 40s is really what she has always wanted to be. I feel confident about proving this correct when I get there. J

    As for 60s, I can surely vouch for what Shobha De says by looking at my parents. This decade of one’s life indeed marks some sort of emancipation from the responsibilities of day-to-day life and enthuses a different kind of vigor to do things one has always wanted to do. My parents are busier than they were ever before. It is almost impossible to find them at home! I love their hyper activity! J They have so many different and interesting things that they do. I am amazed at their energy levels. Knock on wood! They are doing all that they probably dreamed of – right from hands on community service to traveling around the world, to organizing senior’s events and picnics.

    When I get up there in years, I hope to age gracefully (not just physically but mentally too) and hope to grow intellectually. I hope my life then is a showcase of all the good things I have learnt and experienced in my years gone by.

    SS
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2008
  6. srinivasan_vanaja

    srinivasan_vanaja Gold IL'ite

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    hi sriniketan,

    understood yaar. you are doing the same thing what i did for you. ok, ok, let us wait together to hear from other ilites.
     
  7. srinivasan_vanaja

    srinivasan_vanaja Gold IL'ite

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    hi SS,

    thanks for the reply. thought provoking topics......i have started few games threads too.

    we are sailing in the same boat regarding the age.

    thanks for sharing info on your parents. is your mother too member of IL? if so, she can write here. if not, she can become one. (just felt like saying, not trying to take liberty)

    ....and we ilites would exhibit the showcase in IL, may be to the world.

    you have given a beautiful reply. thanks a lot.
     
  8. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Vanaja,
    I didn't mean to...but curious enough to know, so that we are prepared for that...what do you say...

    sriniketan
     
  9. SoaringSpirit

    SoaringSpirit Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks for asking Vanaja and no worries about taking liberty..Mom is not part of IL yet. may be one day soon.. :)

    SS
     
  10. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Vanaja,

    Wonderful trhead.I admire Shobha De, though I have not read any book of hers.She used to write for Stardust when it was started in the early Seventies.

    I am in my 55<SUP>th</SUP> year, and I can tell u I am looking forward to being a Senior citizen.I will travel for less in the Airlines,and railways.And get income tax rebate too eh !

    And I am having the best time of my life.I keep myself young thru reading, solving Sudukos,and mainly I love Gossip and spicy stuff.I am ore or less retired, financially comfortable and I do what I want to do now.There are no work pressures, and I am literally having a ball.

    I don’t feel a day older than 30,and still eye pretty females who come for a walk to the garden every morning.HAHA.

    Regards.kamal
     

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