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Yours Untrolled Truly

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Balajee, Sep 9, 2017.

  1. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    The first time I ever encountered a troll was while reading Harry Potter novels. In Harry Oitter And the Philosopher’s Stone, a troll enters the bathrooms of Hogwarts. Ugh! How can you go to the loo when you feel that a troll is watching you. For the heinous crime of preventing people from using the bathrooms, the troll of course dies with Ron Weasley’s wand stuck in his nose.


    My second encounter with trolls was while reading J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit in which Bilbo Baggins encounters a few with smart English names and Cockney accents. Not particularly bright, thry debate more heatedly than Arnab Goswami and his panellists over the gastronomic possibilities of hobbits and dwarfs. They debate so long that they are turned to stone when it dawns and sunlight falls on them. Probably they suffered from a vitamin D overdose from the sunlight.


    Ah, those were the days my friends. In those halcyon pre-internet days dictionaries defined trolls as ugly creatures of Scandinavian myth that loved to eat farmers’ goats and at times farmers themselves. But it remained a debatable point whether they were dwarfs or giant but no TV channel broadcast these debates and no one trolled you because they thought trolls were giants and you thought they were dwarfs.


    Trolled that’s it! We are living in a dark age when words don’t mean what they meant earlier Take the word “gay” for instance. The tribe that naively thought it meant happy or cheerful is extinct, or is it? If any of these guys survive please let everyone know. We could launch a programme to protect your kind as an endangered species.


    Oh dear I am back to my old habit of going off on a tangent am I not? We are talking of trolls and not gays. The trolls of yore would certainly give you a stupid uncomprehending look when they find that the name of their species is used as a verb. For them “trolling” would probably mean eating farmers’ goats and when that gets the farmrs’ goat and they protest eating a few farmers as dessert


    When I first heard the word “trolling” I initially thought it meant someone with whom you begged to differ on a point sending a troll-like goon to your place to bash you up so that you get persuaded that the he or she is right. Nope. Trolling is just bashing you up with words on social websites and message boards , The physical bashing and even sending you to say hi to Lord Yama may follow but that is reserved for later.


    But everybody loves trollers. Even your PM follows them on Twitter. We are reaching a point where if you don’t troll or get trolled you are a nobody, a mere nothing. Both trolling and geting trolled have become status symbol. At a party recently, I rather innocently mentioned that I have never been trolled. Everyone moved way from me as if I was suffering from some contagion.


    “Our social status has touched the nadir” wailed the wife as we were leaving “ You and your stupid remarks! Didn’t you even notice how everyone was comparing notes on the number of trolls they had received!” The tubelight that I was I realized rather late that I had inadvertently walked into a more trolled than thou competition.


    I am totally innocent on how to needle people into trolling me. Whenever I write what I consider a controversial piece all I get are boring, polite rejoinders. No one, alas trolls me. “ The tamil film fans are more volatile than the political bigots. May be I should write something panning some Rajanikanth, Vijay or Ajit movie” I suggested to the DW. ‘YOU WANT TO MAKE ME A WIDOW OR SOMETHING?” she screamed.


    Apparently getting trolled is a fine art. You must provoke trollers in such a way that you get verbally assaulted but remain physically unscathed. Maybe like finishing schools (Why doi they call them finishing schools? Probably because the way they bleed you white you are financially finished) we should start schools to teach you thje fine art of getting trolled. Trolling is far easier than getting trolled. All you need is a colourful choice of epithets that would make even a Punju trucker in a fighting mode blush.



    After the faux pas at the party I jogged my memory to find out whether any of the feedbacks to my blogs could be considered trolls. Finally I found one. Replying to a blog in which I had defended people’s right to eat beef one guy had helpfully suggested that I should eat human flesh. Now I am racking my brains over whether that was a troll or a constructive suggestion in an age of dwindling resources and disappearing cropland.
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2017
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  2. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Dear "Yours untrolled Truly",

    Is that a upload_2017-9-9_9-59-3.png The only troll I knew for the most part was the Grumpy Old Troll from Dora, the explorer! I can see how she could get trolled being explorer and all that! All she had to do was ask what the troll wanted, give him and move on! You may be unhappy at not getting trolled but why seek trouble Balajee? The "knowyourmeme.com/memes/cultures/trolling" explains ....
    Trolling refers to any Internet user behavior that is meant to intentionally anger or frustrate someone else in order to provoke a response.

    Aren't there enough beings in real life to do that? Count your blessings Balajee, count your blessings!
     
    satchitananda, Kamalji and kaniths like this.
  3. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Sabitha I think trolls would only amuse me. My response if it is provoked at all would turn the giant troll into a dwarf by simply laughing it off. I expect trolls to amuse and entertain me, whatever their. objectionable content
     
  4. PushpavalliSrinivasan

    PushpavalliSrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Balaji,
    Even after using internet I have become a nobody because no one is trolling me even in FB. Though I have a twitter account I don't post much there.
    Now I have to learn how to provoke people so that the people's stroll will make me a somebody from nobody.
    PS
     
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  5. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Balaji,
    You are too humerous to be trolled.get serious in life,then u will be threatened and then u would have arrived.haha
    Regards
    Kamal
     
  6. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Getting trolled in Chennai could be injurious to health. The trolling might be followed by some guys in a Tata
    Sumo(the standard vehicle of Tamilian underworld) making a courtesy call on you with clubs and swords .
     
  7. SCSusila

    SCSusila Gold IL'ite

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    You have put me in a terrible depression by asserting that no trolling =no life / identity . For this alone I should troll you . But dont know how .
     
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  8. PushpavalliSrinivasan

    PushpavalliSrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    I am also feeling sad that we don't get a chance to troll. Just for fun only.
    PS


     
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2017
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  9. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Kamalji seriousness is not even my middle name , I thought people took more offense at jokes than serious criticism. Looks like I am wrong.
     
  10. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Haha feel free tp let colourful epithets fly at me. But trolling is difficult for ladies because the language used is ahem quite masculine, as masculine as a Punju truck driver after a few pegs of country liquor. If you do a survey of trolls you would probably find 99% of them are men and the rest men hiding under a female identity.
     
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