Your thoughts.

LOL! How can you serve lunch when you are not at home?! Maybe you should buy one of those "richie rich-type" robots and dress her up like you?

While that particular sentence cracked me up, I do understand your feelings. I say you do your best without expecting anything in return. That doesn't mean you should allow her to control you or dominate you. But, make it clear that this is your family and you have a right to bring your son up to make him adjusting and sensitive to the needs of his future wife! As for tea, maybe you can buy a big flask and fill it up once a day so that she can drink to her heart's content whenever she wants to?

Don't think about what she says about you. Just make sure she's not negatively influencing your hubby or causing problems between you and him. Don't worry...God will give you double for your trouble

Carol

 

Monita, she's a chronic complainer. She doesn't want solutions, opinions, or cheering up in response to her complaints; avoiding her, ignoring her, or complaining along with her won't work either, and she doesn't want confrontation.

She's just someone who is happy if she complains, so take heart in knowing that its not about you even though it appears so.

I amn't sure what will help a chronic complainer, sometimes, listening and then reflecting their problem back to them works. They're just wanting the attention or empathy, so reflecting their problem back gives them the sad affirmation they need and it will at times make them shut up, or at least quiet them until they can think of something else to complain about. I'm guessing however that you've exhasuted all your reserves of empathy, sympathy, patience and the like. All my symapthies go out to people having to live with complainers, its close to torture having that cloud of gloom hanging around you all the time!

PS: She reminded me of this absurdity from Gloria in White Men Can't Jump when she says: See, if I'm thirsty, I don't want a glass of water, I want you to sympathize. I want you to say, "Gloria, I too know what it feels like to be thirsty. I too have had a dry mouth." I want you to connect with me through sharing and understanding the concept of dry mouthedness.
LOL!

 

Hi Monita,

From your previous posts I know you are doing a great job adjusting to mil with all her demands. Her comments irritate but nothing much you can do.

Nowadays I live by the motto that my first priority are my kids, then me and dh then them. If mil complains how her sons are hungry, or did not get coffee I just say I am doing what my kids want cuz I am their mother not my Dh's, and that mil can look after her own kids (my dh, bil) as she is their mother!

My nephew (Co-sis son) is soon to be mariied. Already my mil is saying that grandson and wife will live with his parents blah blah! Me and my co sis immediately got our rankles up and said NO Way! We already know how that feels and wouldnt want to put any new girl coming into the family to deal with it when there is no need.

 

I m glad todays DILs understand what they went through was hard and does not want to put new generation DILs through it. It feels like our previous generation did role playing - if they went through it, their DIL have to too...so i m so glad to hear this
hoping for better future in future DILs