Your relationship with your parents after your marriage

i would say after marriage hus and wife need to move out and start afresh. We need to be there for both set of parents on a phonecall away. if a lady is working or not, if her parents need fianacial support she better find a way to help them out. Sons and daughters Grow up . Its not the son alone responsible for both set of parents.... whoever can come and help be there for parents,no matter u are a son or a daughter ...Parents need your help be there. Also once married learn to be independent and start a new home rather than depend on parents and their ideas on how to run a family....

 

Sorry didnt read your whole question as its no brainer

Boys: Not a bit

Girls: A whole LOT...

 

I have lovely relationship with my parents and brothers..
* l know I belong to them and alwz I am there daughter...if guys don't leave there parents how can we leave...the way I use to talk with my mom..Itz same...but with MIL u have to think 100 times..
Even I tried my best to maintain a healthy relationship with inlawz but Itz like formal relation...
* regarding financial help..I have no idea...I never think about this...thinkingsmiley
Relation work if both parties are interested...no money involved...if money is b/w Itz gonna spoil ur relation..
*i don't expect very much from my brother BCz expectation alwz hurt..but I know they are gonna handle everything for my parents...
* last point is bit difficult BCz my inlawz sacrificed a lot for there kids BCz in starting they don't have money and all.they are from service class..so ....I can say BCz of financial condition they sacrificed a lot...
I am from a businessman family we have d/f thinking..my parents raised us happy no serifice....hehe....
At the end...I just wanna add one line..
I know now we are with our husband Itz our first priority but we have a deep attachment with our parents and brother/sister that is unconditional love...
I love my parents...and my bros:exactly:

 

Hi,

I am married since last 12 years. I am the eldest in my family with one younger bro and sis. Last year Jan my mother happened to tell me that I have no rights any more in that house and I am only a "GUEST" there. I really don't understand what exactly she meant in telling me that. I seriously dont understand this concept of hers. This April my bro s gtng married and I am confused if I really have to attend dat function. I some how feel my parents will wnt me ther hinkin abt d ppl attendin d mrg. I am totally against that. i dont want to go ther for d sake of it.

I am thinkin if any mother in dis world ll even think of their daughters like d way my mom think. Even i have 2 kids. No matter hw my kids treat me...dey r alwyz my kids and i ll wnt to b wid em till my last breath.

 

Am not married yet, but still here are my answers :hide:

1. What is your expectations from and to your parents? Do you really consider yourself not as a part of their family after marriage? Only your [COLOR=#009900 !important]husbands[/COLOR]? - I would consider my husband and his family an addition to my family. There is no question of just abandoning my family just 'cos I get a husband and in laws. Parents shall remain parents and so, I have the responsibility to take care of them no matter am girl or boy. Doesn't mean I have to live with them by ignoring my in laws or live with my in laws ignoring my parents just cos am a girl child.

2. Assuming your parents need some financial help (they depleted all their savings on your education and marriage) and if you are working, will you help them every month [COLOR=#009900 !important]just like[/COLOR] your[COLOR=#009900 !important]husband[/COLOR] does with his parents? - Just like I said in my earlier reply, they are my parents who toiled hard to bring me up. They put my happiness before theirs and I don't see any issue if I have to help them financially after marriage as well. That's what family is for. I shall ensure they don't have to struggle to make their ends meet.

A more interesting question is- if you are *NOT* earning, will you still help them out? If not why? Do you not think you have any right to what your husband earns? After all, you are the wife who has equal rights to what he earns. Or is this a easy way in guise of "Indian culture"
Even If am not earning, and need to support my family for a short while, I dont think my husband will have any problem to help them financially.


3. How it is only your brother's responsibility to look after your parents? Please don't say "Indian culture" because I think Indian culture is better than and it is more a regressive mindset than Indian culture. I am proud that I am very much part of the Indian culture just not the regressive mindset.
- This is 21st century and I personally don't believe that the Sons are only responsible to take care of parents. If parents didnt show any difference in bringing up the two, I don't feel its right to show the difference now. I see nowadays there are more girls who take care of the parents than the boys. Not that the boys dont take care of their parents.


4. Lastly, don't you believe that your parents sacrificed as much to raise you as your husband's parents did to raise him?
Obviously. This is no 18th century where the girl is expected to sit at home and learn household chores and do them while the son goes to school and studies. My parents brought me up the same way as they would do for a boy child.

 

I wanted to make one thing clear with my husband before I got married-

That my parents are and will always be very important to me. While my husband and I are family of our own, my parents are in no way less important to me.

Marriage and motherhood has only made me closer to my parents.

 

I am married for almost an year now. And my relation with my parents or sister has never changed.
I will help them if they need financial support.
If i am not working, i may not feel comfortable to ask my husband, But i would make sure my parents wont have any problem.
I have no brother, but IMO its both daughter's and son's responsibility to take care of parents.

 

My mother takes care of my DD in daytime. I leave her in my Mom's house and pick her up daily in the eve. Still I am hearing that word very often. You are not alone.

 

I have myself adult daughters that have moved out and are on their own. I do not consider them as part of my immediate family anymore, I am not financially responsible for them, I do not provide for their needs, do not expect them to help out with household works. I am of course very close with them, chat/talk with them weekly, I help out in emergency situations and now and then take care of my grandchildren. They are always welcome to visit me but of course we agree beforehand to ensure that the timing is suitable for me. Now and then I ask for help, using my son-in-laws for helping out with drilling/heavier household tasks but not very often.

My younger daughter has a key to my home but that is only for emergency situations if I forget my keys somewhere or need someone to pick up mail etc. If they visit they call beforehand and use the door bell.

My older son is now 20 year old and he is planning to move within 1-2 year depending on where he will go studying and from where he can get an apartment.