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You Are Very Much'in Time'

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by jayasala42, Dec 7, 2021.

  1. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Compare!Compare! Compare!
    This has been the thaaraka mantra of many of us.
    Very often we think of people who are better placed and who
    had better victories in life.
    When your son passed in IIT GEE Exam, you wish the neibour's son to fail.You cannot accept the failure of your child and success of the neighbour.
    You compare your son-in-law's financial status and official status with that of your relative.
    Your son/daughter should get at least 1 mark more than that
    of a stranger.
    Your failure in C. A. exam does not bother you as much as the success of your brother's son.
    You have only two daughters but your sister has three sons, all Engineers.
    Your daughter struggles to learn Carnatic music.
    But neighbour's daughter is ready for a concert..
    As a man crossed 55. you have just come to middle
    mangement level, but your cousin in the next street is CEO
    of the company.
    Your father-in-law is suffering from cancer at 70 whereas
    the grandold man at the next door is hale and healthy at 90.
    What a comparison!!
    “Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another.” – Marquis de Condorcet
    If you took the strengths of others, and compared them to
    your weaknesses, how do you think you’d size up? And do you think this would make you feel good?
    It’s a sure-fire recipe for a drop in self-confidence
    and for unhappiness.

    And that’s so important — being able to look at your own
    strengths, and see your true value. It’s actually one of the keys to success, because without this ability, you will be
    unmotivated, and won’t believe in yourself.
    We may be from a middle class family and our friends
    may be from affluent families.
    . If you have shelter over your head, food on the table, clothes on your back, and people who love you, you are blessed. You have enough.
    "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its
    ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."( Albert Einstein)
    In this world there are many are more intelligent,more athletic,more powerful more successful,more popular,more wealthy than we are..
    In the same way many are less in every way.

    When we compare ourselves to others who we think
    are better than we are, have we ever noticed that
    comparing ourselves to others makes us feel jealous,
    envious or resentful? Anxious, lonely or depressed?

    When we compare ourselves to others who we think
    aren’t as good as we are, have we ever noticed that
    it makes us feel confident, proud or satisfied?
    Superior, smug or arrogant?

    Making comparisons is easier than ever these days
    because information is available at our fingertips 24/7.
    Not only does it flow from friends, family, colleagues
    and associates, but from strangers we’ve never met
    because people broadcast their lives publicly for all
    the world to see.

    Unfortunately, comparisons are more often than not,
    destructive and damaging. Often people use them as
    evaluation tools to validate or reject their own success
    and self-worth. It’s human nature.

    Comparisons make us feel small, insecure, inadequate
    and unhappy because there is always someone better
    out there. Unfortunately,there are no boundaries or limits to what or who you can compare yourself to and our
    society loves to measure success based on the accomplishments of others.
    We are all born with the same level of dignity, value and
    human worth and we all develop at a different rate –
    socially, mentally and physically. Your journey will never
    be the same as someone else’s.

    There is no rule that says you have to be married
    by 25 and have three kids by 30, or become a Vice President of your company by age 40.

    Both Akbar and Aurangzeb ruled for 50 years.
    Akbar became emperor at 13 and died at 63 years of age.
    Aurangzeb became emperor at 41 and died at 91years of age.

    Someone graduated at the age of 22, but waited 5 years
    before securing a good job.
    Someone became a CEO at 25, and died at 50.
    While another became a CEO at 50, and lived to 90 years.
    Someone joined IIT but could not be successful
    in campus interview.
    While another became a CEO at 50, and lived to 90 years.

    Someone is still single, while someone from his school
    group has become grandfather.

    Obama retired at 55 and Trump started at 70.
    Someone got married at 20 but not gifted with children.
    Everyone in this world works based on their time zone.
    People around might seem ahead of us and
    some might seem to be behind us.

    But everyone is running their own race, in their own time.
    Yes, everybody in this world works based on their time zone.
    Do not envy others

    They are in their time zone, and you are in yours.

    So, relax.

    You're not late.
    You're not early.
    You are very much 'in time.'

    Jayasala 42
     
    Cheeniya, KashmirFlower, NOW and 4 others like this.
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  2. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Smt Jayasala:

    Thank you for sharing your take on comparison in your inimitable style. Comparison is the root cause of Kama, Krodha, Moha, Lobha, Madha & Matcharya (six enemies of our mind). Generally, the ancient wisdom states that Desires & Attachments (D & A) are the root causes of the sufferings of human beings. But comparison remains a major issue from the ancient days.

    Dhiridarastra's comparison of himself with his brother Pandu caused him a lot of pain and sufferings throughout his life in Dwapara Yuga. If we move further into Treta Yuga, Kaikeyi's comparison of Sri Rama with her son Bharata caused her to lose credibility in the family as well as lose her husband.

    Now in the digital world, everyone has access to so much of information. Social media adds more pain and suffering to people than a normal day-to-day life. Everyone looks for instant gratification through appreciation from their friends in social media. If they don't get likes and responses as per their expectations, they get extremely disappointed. More so, if someone else's post in social media gets better attention. Even Sanyasis aspire to be someone else who lived before their life time and gain more popularity than their predecessors.

    Best growth happens only when one sets his/her own goals from time to time and make progressive changes to their skills understanding their strengths and weaknesses. Measuring growth based on how much we earn also causes a lot of pain. What we have as a skill should improve day by day through self-satisfaction and it should be completely unlinked with earnings, appreciation, name and fame. The entertainers, sports personnels, scientists, politicians, and other professionals have their peak time and then their name and fame disappears along with earnings and appreciations. But how we feel about ourselves can never be taken out by anyone. That is the true wealth that never loses its value. Everything else comes and goes but our intrinsic value enhances throughout life depending on self-confidence and self-satisfaction. Everything else that are material should be held in trust as we may possess it for sometime and give up later.
     
    NOW likes this.
  3. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Viswa,
    Thyank you for your wonderful reply.Whereas I have narrated examples from our real life situations, you have gone deep and quoted instances from epics.Every one knows that comparison would serve no purpose. Yet they cant stop comparing.I have seen mothers always citing examples from first rank holders.I feel that women, by nature are prone to compare whether for looks, educational attainments or salary or official status.Though sometimes it induces them to rise up ,on most occasions it becomes unfulfilled dream.

    Jayasala 42
     
    messedup and Viswamitra like this.

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