1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Liked anything that you read here? You may nominate it as the Finest Posts!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  5. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

You are ignored? How to deal?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Eswaram, Feb 18, 2010.

  1. Eswaram

    Eswaram New IL'ite

    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    Ladies,

    I have come across many who were/are ignored & avoided by own parents, sisters, brothers and relatives for no reason. what could be the reason? When one is ignored by the outsider, it can be somehow swallowed. But when ignored by own blood relatives... :drowning

    I am sure we all have tons to share....let's burst out...:thumbsup
     
    Loading...

  2. Malavika81

    Malavika81 Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    818
    Likes Received:
    23
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    How do you know you are being ignored? You said ignored without a reason so have you ever contemplated the possibility they are busy with their own little lives and problems? I am still fuzzy on your criteria to make a determination that you are being ignored without a reason, but if it is that they don't talk to you often or get in touch often, then maybe they have their own problems in life to solve?
    You'll have to elaborate more on how you are being ignored or how you came to that conclusion.
     
  3. Tara09

    Tara09 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    236
    Likes Received:
    11
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    I think ignoring or feeling ignored is a relative term. Let me explain.

    If you take me, I don't care even if someone does not call me or does not invite me for anything in their house. Really!! Even when I go for parties, I can find my way to get into any group without anyone actually introducing me. I really do not feel ignored by the host or other guests. Even with my siblings/friends , I call them whenever I feel like without thinking even for a second how may times they returned my calls.
    One time my friend said, hey, you have called 4 times already and I haven't called you even one time. I told her, I don't care, I don't keep a log of who calls how many times to me. If I feel like talking to you I just pick up the phone and call.
    Even I do not get that feeling when my own people sometimes forget to wish me on my birthday. In fact, I call on my birthday and when I sense they forgot, I remind them!!

    But if you take my SIL (brother's wife), she is very very sensitive. Even the slightest body movement of yours can tick her off and come to the conclusion that you ignored her fully. At my sister's wedding, I was kind of busy with the running around and also I had 3yr old child then and the wedding was in the early hours 3am. My kid got cranky, so I had to put her to bed and then somehow sneaked out of the room to be there by the time of muhurtam. I found an empty seat and sat there. Later, my SIL cried and complained to brother that there was a seat besides where she was sitting and I did not sit besides her. She felt IGNORED!!!


    So, each person feels it differently.....some more, some less, some don't care at all......I guess.
    Hope I did not deviate from the actual point.:)
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2010
    1 person likes this.
  4. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,862
    Likes Received:
    5,086
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    My thought pattern is as follows:

    1) if you're ignored from day1 of birth then I guess a person gets used to it and never feels the difference until you start comparing.
    2) There are certain habit of each child that sets preference amongst parents & siblings.
    3) 2 is a company, 3 is a crowd.. hence if you have only 1 sibling that fellow comes back to you.. however 2 or more may end into a gang up.. leaving you alone.

    My SIL (DH's sis) felt she was ignored & not considered a family when her own parents never informed her that me and DH were settling in a different city post marriage.. all hell broke loose, she threw her gifts.. left their house in extreme aggression/ swearings etc etc.
    Their reason for not telling & also warning me or my family to not to inform her was that she's not able to maturly filter information before passing to their own relatives :crazy. Incidently the same SIL became mature within 2 mnths of my joining that house... which she couldn't achieve in 30 yrs.... Also their imaginary attitude that I dont want to share anything with her laid the groundwork for their discontentment and reason for fightings & talk about separation:bonk.
     
  5. parvathi1980

    parvathi1980 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,137
    Likes Received:
    1,306
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Happens! I have a sibling who happens to be of a nature that is loved and admired by everyone. So I usually get sidelined by relatives and family. One thing is you never get used to it. It hurts. Always. Relatives go on and on that ur sibling is so cute etc etc etc and completely ignore you! I might as well become invisible in family gatherings and no one would bother.:boo: Reasons I have no idea...could be because I am not a sweet talker and am a little serious by nature. Hope that explains something.
     
    1 person likes this.
  6. DKI

    DKI Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    812
    Likes Received:
    1,296
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    From your profile, looks like you do not live in India. I don't either and often there are pieces of information that I don't get or get very late. Reason being my parents think sis would have informed and vice versa. Another thing is that they never tell me if one or the other is ill or anything. Reasoning? No point in worrying me because sitting so far away from home that is all I can do - worry.

    I one day told them that I don't mind getting the same info twice. So now I am paying the price for it :) My sis will tell me something, then dad, then mom. SO now when I talk to one and then call the other, I will inform them of all the news shared by the first. I usually call my sister first because she is like a news channel...knows everything that is happening in the family and will give me news in extreme detail. Then I call my parents, tell them "akka has told me all these things...anything else happening?" There usually is some stuff more for them to add.

    So, it may just be you thinking you are being ignored because you are so far away. If there is anything specific that you feel you were left out about, I am sorry for you, but with your generalized post we cannot offer better solutions.
     

Share This Page