[JUSTIFY]Just a couple of days ago, I read a news item about a guy who fell from the 8th floor of his building and died, leaving people wondering whether it was a case of accidental death or suicide. Everyone is wondering why he would commit suicide as he seemed fairly normal and had been taking pictures of clouds and Nature in the evening. Some years ago, when I was working, a student of mine who was a brilliant guy, topped his class and used to be extremely jolly and a wisecrack suddenly committed suicide. Not only I but everyone who knew him was stunned. He did not seem to have any reason to commit suicide and did not seem to be the type to do so. He/she did not a reason. Then why would that person take such an extreme step? Certainly not without a reason. How come no one who knew him/her could say why? How did no one notice that the person was depressed enough to end it all? Is this a wake up call to all of us? Are we out of touch with those around us? Have we as a society lost the ability to communicate and interact with others to the extent that we are not even aware that there is something troubling our "closest friends"? Or is this "be positive" mantra being misconstrued to the extent where everyone walks around with a "happy" mask while hiding their unhappiness and disillusionment with life for fear of being admonished to stop being "negative" and to get out of this quagmire of "self-pity"? Isn't it sad that instead of talking their hearts out to their friend for fear of a sharp response, these people preferred to end it all? Isn't it sad that instead of giving the person some constructive support and help in overcoming depression, the person was allowed (even though passively) to take this extreme step? Have we lost the ability to listen? Or is life so tough on us that we have a hard enough time dealing with our problems without involving ourselves with others' sorrows? How would we like it if we were also in deep distress but had no one to talk to? A person in pain would either want support or prefer to keep his pain to himself. The last thing he/she needs in life is to be judged by his friends as being negative. If he/she had a solution or was clear-minded enough to think of one, neither would there be a reason to talk to other, nor would there be any reason to end it all. Brings back an old song by Hemant Kumar to mind which went: "Ya dil ki suno duniyawaalon, ya mujhko chhup hi rehene do" meaning "Either let me say exactly what is in my heart or allow me to remain quiet".[/JUSTIFY]
satchi, this has been running around my small pea brain like a whirlpool and add to that the questions from my son..well double whammy right. i have been pained, to see so many iitians and intelligent kids losing/taking their life .. i am forced to wonder if it is really so easy.. the other day there was this x std boy who calls his mom the last time, does not speak and he is found dead near a lake..again the doubt of murder lingers, yet why should he call her and then not speak.. he is from a rich family, no pressure at home..but beyond the luxury and the comforts there was something lacking.. i read about the iit kids taking their life, because they easily get into iit but find it difficult to cope up. is it the curse of the indian education system, that itself is so confusing that you don't know where to start or end. i have read about an suicide, where the guy has googled which was the best way before committing... why has tolerance levels decreased so much.. why is there no patience in people..why is that we are always looking out for instant results.. why is that we don't want to fight till the end and give up in between.. As a mom of 2 teenagers, i can understand that things are not the same as it was during our times.. inspite of being open, being their friends, i believe there is some lacuna that has evolved in the basic..peer pressure, expectations do attribute to this.. there is more to this epidemic (definitely it is slowly spreading with india having the highest number of sucides in the last few years..)than that meets the eye.. will keeping our ears and heart opened to the needy really help...maybe it would..and some forums do help i suppose..
Hello Satchi, So true,so true - "Or is this "be positive" mantra being misconstrued to the extent where everyone walks around with a "happy" mask while hiding their unhappiness and disillusionment with life for fear of being admonished to stop being "negative" and to get out of this quagmire of "self-pity"?" I have been following your posts in the sub-forums I visit,and each of them is so relevant,bang-on and an eye-opener(as the case may be)! Really,what is visible to the eye is so far removed from reality.We hide behind our masks so much pain and insecurity. When one tries to talk,it is always -don't be negative,don't over-react ,get out of your self-pity mode etc.. So,you start hiding your feelings,and sport a happy facade,which really suffocates you. What I,rather anyone,really wants is empathy and/or constructive advice or criticism(whichever way the receiver perceives it to be ). But where does one get it?
