Writing research papers....Now Made Easy!

I have been neck deep into research and research papers of late. And realised, it wasnt sooo bad after all... So, i thought why not write a blog on writing a research paper.

Well, before you skip reading this blog, let me tell you that this isn’t a blog on the nitty-gritty details on how to go about writing a medical research paper. This is just my crazy take on this subject. So, just relax and read on….

First comes the topic selection. This’s the hardest part because after days of breaking your head , when you think you have finally gotten the most original idea, you realize that someone else had thought of it a week earlier and has already conveyed it to your chief. So finally you settle in on a totally useless topic that is selected by your chief. But you are kinda relieved that you atleast have a topic to work upon.

Now comes the data collection. You might think this is pretty easy with the internet and all. But, you ‘ll soon realize that it need a lot of conviction , determination and self-control. Why??? Because any search for medical info will yield atleast one **** site. (No, I’m not kidding. try it out! )

Then comes the data analysis. Initially you may get psyched out on seeing the innumerable data and have nightmares thinking of how to make head or tail of it. But once you get the hang of it, you‘ll realize that if enough data has been collected, anything and I really mean ANYTHING can be proven by statistical means. Cos if your data doesn’t support what you intent to conclude, remove some. If nothing remains, just make some up. Then, always draw the curves first and then plot your readings. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

Now comes the writing part. However stupid your theory and conclusion maybe, it must be worded in the most complicated manner. There are certain jargons that absolutely have to be used in your paper. Like… IT IS WELL KNOWN THAT…(meaning, I din look up the reference) , A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT…( I mean , why not?? Data was cooked up for that very reason…) , THREE SAMPLES WHERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY ( well, the others dint make any sense) , TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN…. ( the graph is lifted straight from the text book) , IN MY EXPERIENCE..( once!) , IT IS BELIEVED THAT…( my chief thinks..) IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT ( my chief and I , both of us think..) ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS…( cooked up data!) and finally you have to thank your chief for his “VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS AND ASSISTANCE IN THIS HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY…” ( meaning you had to waste your time on this absolutely useless topic because your grades depended on this!)


Hope this helps!

Happy researching!

 

well, well.... that was an absolutely fantabulous feedback!:thumbsup thanks!!!

 

hi ish! thanx for visiting....

 

no! and thanx!

 

:biglaughyeah...thanks guru! this one is called the evil smiley.... perfectly reflects my mood today. i'm feeling very evil for some reason today.:evil:..........!