would you do the same, if you had another chance?

Dear Sushie,

Sorry to hear about ur situation... Dont get disheartened... GOD is there... Focus and be there for your kids...

For your questions, whether will you marry your spouse in you next chance.... I will say "YES !..YES!!....". But only thing is I would love to have the circumstances different and more happy... While dreaming, why not dream big.... This is from my perspective... However, as my wife's wellwisher & best friend I will strongly advice her NOT to agree for this, though I know for certain she will agree to marry me again...

This is one my favourite topics, which I used to discuss with my wife.... Let me also hear what she has to say......

 

Hi Sashie:

I feel your PAIN in your post. If one has to come on a message board and post this question, I can only imagine the emotions you are going through!! I have been in your position and my answer to your question is NO!! If I knew my Ex-husband for even a month, I would not have married him in this life, forget the next 6 lives!!!!

I have been divorced for about 2 years, am 32 and have a 4 year old child. So, when I left him, my child was 2 as well and this is the best decision I have ever made. I am not sure what your problems are or why you feel this way, so, divorce is NOT a solution to everything in life.

But, if your situation is bad and if you are financilayy independent, waiting until your children are 18 is WRONG!! You will be close to being a senior citizen by then and will have no life to live. You get to live life once and LIVE IT!! Children are very important and should be the main focus of ones lives, but they are not everything. You have to live too......so, don't make decisions about your life solely based on your children. If you are not mentally and emotionally happy, you are not giving your children a healthy, balanced environment to grow up in!!

Good Luck!!

 

Dear Friend,
Its really frustrating when your needs for security, expression and love are not met in your marital relationship. As you said child matters a lot in making any personal choices or decisions. If there are some ways to incorporate more quality relationships and activties in your life then maybe you'll find motivation. SOmetimes our husband and the family are not as per our expectations but you can find venues to express yourself. ..like taking up a vocation, learning something new, volunteering in an institution etc.
I think I would do that and I did do that in many modes of my life.

Ciao!

 

Thansk Deepa. I just tired to gave balanced view to her. Bcos even if our reality may be more pink or more dark. Its impossible to find just right sahde of liking in other person.

 

I'd like to answer this in this manner. First of all i don't want to be born like this. I'd wish to be beautiful and with all other expectations my husband really wanted from me. I could not satisfy him as it happened to be an aranged marriage. After fulfilling his expectations, i don't mind marrying him again:welcome
Jayashree

 

I'd wish to be beautiful and with all other expectations my husband really wanted from me.:roll:

Why do many women feel like we are born JUST to satisfy our husbands??
Dont we have an identity of our own?
Do we always have to be someone's daughter? Someone's wife? Someone's mother??
Can we ever get out of this mentality?
When can we realize that in order to be a good daughter, a nice wife and a great mother, we first have to LOVE ourselves and know who and what we are. Without knowing who we are and what makes US happy, I don't think there is much we can offer to those whom we love or for those who depend on us!!

 

Oh yes, I would go back and marry him all over again. I am one of the lucky ones when it comes to a good marriage. We had a long engagement of 4 years - and now it has been 3 years to our marriage. So I got enough time and opportunity to know him and how we gel together.

I am sorry for your situation Sashie...the others have said what I feel.

Indu... yes I have thought the same many times. I believe in 50% of the cases it is just a narrow-minded thinking that sets in due to lack of education (education here is different from literacy and a string of degrees next to your name), and very old culture (which is no longer relevant today, but followed in some families out of a sad habit). Girls are taught to be submissive, tolerant and quiet. You and I think the way we do because of the circumstances we were brought up in, what we learnt from our own parents, families etc. Let's face it, our personalities are a cause of all these things - so before we blame women for being as submissive they are, we must allow for the reasons for their mental make up.

The other 50% of the cases, it is a genuine maternal instinct that women have. I am surprised at how many women I know who are by no means otherwise weak, unintelligent or lack self-esteem, but when it comes to their husbands a strange kind of a maternal instinct kicks in and they just become submissive. The best examples of this are one couple in my relatives who are my grandparents by relation. Now this lady is almost 70 - never been to school in her life, has a multitude of skills at home and outside, well-respected and stately woman. She has 4 children with her husband who has her running to his tunes. I refuse to believe she gives into him because she is weak, she does so because she really loves him and believes that she being submissive to him makes him happy so in turn it makes her happy. So I think, fine, happiness is what all want so what's wrong in doing what she does. Again, this does not seem to be a generation issue either. I have seen a couple of my friends who are properly educated and work in the nice modern corporate world but display the same behaviour! They will wear what their husband like (which they themselves may or may not like), skip an hour of sleep in the morning so that they'll have time enough to prepare fresh breakfast for their husbands, risking getting stuck in the traffic so they can pick up his shirt from the laundry, not asking him to accompany her to parties to her friend's place - the friend she knows he doesnt really like etc. I think these women are pretty liberated otherwise, but they CHOOSE to be submissive to their lovers. It's a kind of instinct that comes only with true love. At that time, there is no special place for ego. You see, there is a difference between ego and self-respect. By being the way they are, this last 50% or so women are NOT losing their self-respect - only their ego. They don't really care what others make of them.

I am not sure now if this was the place to say all that I said, please bear with me readers.

So ultimately, as long as one is happy within, to each his own.

Thanks :cheers

Sunita

 

I would say no....there is nobig reason for that..i think that i deserve more...i love my husband and i likes him....he is avery good person..still i like him to some extent..i dont like his sttitude to wards things, his pessimisam and his behaviour towards some certain situations..makes me so misareable....

 

Hello All ,
I wud definitely not do the same mistake . shakehead

 

Hi all,

I did Karvachauth vrat today.If I will get chance I would like to have same husband not only for seven birth but forever.
Yes it is true he has all the qualities what a good Husband should have.
By the way no one is perfect in this world.Moreover he is always ready to accept his mistakes and want to do correction.
"Aur kya chahiye yaar"

So ladies try to improve your relationships for future.