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Worried about my kid

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by tanmayi, May 3, 2010.

  1. tanmayi

    tanmayi Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear ILs,

    My daughter is now 4.5 year old is in UKG. Last year her LKG report was very good and her teacher had always given good remarks about her throughout the year, she was given A+.

    But, we have attended the first PTM for her new academic session and her new class teacher told us that my kid talks a lot in the class, and does not concentrate on anything more than few minutes. When I asked whether she was not attentive when she was taking the class she remarked that she needs to alert my child every ten minutes like "finish the work or look at the board, etc". When we asked her suggestions she said that my kid is fully energetic and hyper active, and advised us to divert her energies by spending more time with her or make her join in dancing or other classes. She said if my daughter still not focus, then the school will take the next step.

    I am now worried. What I know about my child is

    - She plays herself. She keeps talking to her cartoon characters and her school friends (visualising that they are around her) / or make her dolls her class mates and play, at home, and even in the car. She acts like a teacher and tell rhymes and all to these dolls or her imaginary characters.

    - She is very excited to go to school. She gets upset if I don't send her to school on any day.

    - She is very sociable child and mixes up well with even a new kid. She wants to go in the school bus only to spend time with the other children. She requests me not to pick her up from the school.

    - She grasps anything very quickly. I would not take much time to teach her rhymes etc.

    - She knows all the alphabets (she is a left hander), still every time atleast one letter she writes in reverse in the class work or home work.

    - On the computer, she can sit and watch the rhymes or games for half an hour but doesn't like to watch the same item again and again / or play the same game again and again.

    - She is very talkative. She keeps on asking questions without getting tired.

    - While she is doing her home work, I have to repeatedly tell her to finish it.


    I am very confused now. Please give me some suggestions.


    Tanmayi
     
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  2. aarthi7

    aarthi7 Senior IL'ite

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    tanmayi,
    i dont find anything unusual in your 4.5 yr old DD,,she does everything whats normal and expected at this age...most of the kids have problems with attention span ,you can try working on it,,other than that i really dont find any reason why you should be worrying,,these days there so much amount of info available on the net that we get perplxed thinking about various disorders,,it has happened with me too,,and lately i have stopped googling about anything at all,,

    few suggestions i can make
    1.try to keep a timer and allocate certain time for finshing the work,be it homework or any other activity,,if she finishes her work before the timer buzzes,,appreciate her and reward her with a star or may be some extra time playing her fav game/cartoon..try to boost her confidence...first give her enough time and then start slowly reducing the timing(of course give her reasonable amount of time to finish the assigned job)

    2.have a nice chat with your DD,at 4.5 yrs she can understand your words better,,tell her stories of how she can perform better when she listens to the teacher and how much proud you will be if she does that.

    3.have you tried puzzles?try involving her in activities which requires concentration ..allocate some time everyday for mind games or you can even try practicing "quiet time"'where nobody in the house makes noise and remains quiet.emphasize on keeping quiet during class hours through various stories and may be role plays as well..she can be the teacher and you can be the student ,,,try conveying her the message,

    having said all this,,4.5 is still a very young age to sit and concentrate for long time,,,they are quite inquisitive and curious ,full of questions,,whatever steps you take should only be for moulding her personality,it shouldnt curb her feelings in anyway,i feel that schools these days expect a very high standard of discipline from such young children,,of course i do agree that being talkative is a big no during class hours,,but it involves effort from the teachers as well,,so start talking to your daughter slowly and see how it goes...happy parenting.

    of course parenting is not an easy job and we would have challenges in every stage,,hope you get more ideas here,,good luck
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2010
  3. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    I don't know is your daughter attending school in India or US.Your description makes me think that you are in US.
    I would advise to change the class and see other teachrers can work with her well.
    Try spending each day 30-60 mintues with your daughter and teaching differrent things and see how you feel about her.Sometimes teacher may not be the better person to judge your child.
    First you try to work on her and see you can change her class and find suitable taecher for her.
     
  4. ktk

    ktk New IL'ite

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    hai tanmayi,
    My boy is also in this same category. So, i can understand ur situation. But, u don't worry about it. It is quiet normal,in their age. My boy always wants to play. I have to compell him to finish his homework and to prepare the class test. But, he is very very intelligent boy. His teacher told that he is not sitting in one place. He always wants to round. But, they didn't complain it. I think ur teacher must get some training to attend this type of students.
    So, u don't worry about it. U speak with her very kindly.B'cos We can controll the kids by this words only.
    Definetly, she can understand.
     
  5. teacher

    teacher Platinum IL'ite

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    HI Tanmayi,

    A 4-5 yr old can attend for maybe 10 to 15 mts at a stretch. A few kids are able to attend for longer but ithe times moves up gradually and is dependent on the activity/lesson.

    Ask the teacher for specifics-if she is not able to concentrate -
    what kind of activities is she engaged in at that time?
    Is she going from one structured activity to another structured activity or is there a short movement break or free play break between those sesions?

    (Structured activity is any activity where there is a specific outcome as opposed to leeting the child decide the flow. Typically at that age the routine should go from a structured activity to a free play or unstructured activity. Eg, drawing can be a structured or unstructured activity based on how you present it).
    Is she seated near the teacher (near the board, since you mention board activity)? Who is her desk partner? Sometimes paying attention to seating helps.

    Has the teacher tried non verbal cuing? If she hasn't, will she be open to try it-to see if that helps. Maybe you, your daughter and the teacher can have a short talk. The teacher can make a small red stop sign to hold up as a visual reminder rather than calling out your daughter's name in class too often. She could also use a special bell-that can alert your daughter. Both of you will have to make it a 'special' trick to help her do the work..the positive spin is important.

    You can try using a simple chart-google images of a child writing/reading, math symbols, (based on activity/class), cut those out and laminate or just put plain cellotape on the pictures (for protection). Paste a small piece of velcro behind it. Place this on a colored cardboard/chart sheet sized for her desk. It will be a visual reminder+ when she finishes the activity, she has to physically remove the picture and put it in an envelope (which an be glued to the back of the chart paper).

    This will redirect her to her task without drawing attention to her behavior in front of her peers. The emphasis is on what she is supposed to do as opposed to what she is isn't doing in class. (Was that too convoluted? Sorry). If she talks, her teacher can gently tap the picture to redirect her. If the idea of the chart is confusing let me know and I can try to upload a picture of one that I use at times.

    This is the age group when children transition to more academic work. There are a lot of such strategies which can be used. If you feel that there is a reason to be concerned, there are some very specific skills which will help (called 'study skills' -completely different from cognition but equally important).

    If you (and/or the teacher) talk to your daughter about attending in class, keep the emphasis on why it is important to attend-focus on the positive aspects rather than mentioning about disrupting the class, making it difficult for the teacher etc...

    R

    Letter reversal is normal at this age...it becomes a concern if it persists at 6 yrs...teach direction thru' left/ right games...the internet has some fun movement games for this
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2010
    sindmani likes this.
  6. g3sudha

    g3sudha IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Tanvi,

    Everyday you speak to her regarding her activities in the class.
    Whether she can able to see the letters on the board. She may not expressing to any one. Check it out.
     
  7. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    A +1 from me for the above, I've been into teaching.. at colleage level and I know perfectly the talks in staff room, teachers also have a human factor involved... Montessory teachers are further equipped to handle babies but sometimes even Babies endup into monti teaching :rotfl...

    At the same time I feel a lot is dependent on that teacher's feedback for your child to progress if you're not in a position to change the class or the teacher... there's a chemistry between a teacher and child.. still many cant handle it.

    I think you need to first address if she feels comfortable with the new teacher and is not missing the previous one.. also try to emphasize that she needs to appreciate the new teacher & follow her instructions. Since this is her first time experience of a new teacher she needs to learn that her instructors/ facilitators WILL change.
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2010
    sindmani likes this.

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