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Worried About Mother.

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by SmilingGirl02, Aug 27, 2018.

  1. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Anyone who has worked in India will tell you that there is no way for this to work without hiring adequate help.
    A cook and a full time nanny are a must if both parents are working outside the house for long hours. This is in addition to the regular part time help.
    Your brother folding laundry if mom didn’t get to it and your SIL making breakfast and leaving will all work out great if there is a cook to do the rest of the cooking and a nanny to help with the baby. Otherwise both are just taking advantage of the parents who are unable to take care of the house and the baby. I have many relatives in this position(parents of sons and daughters) and it’s sad to see people dealing with babies and household responsibilities instead of enjoying their retired life playing with the said babies and then relaxing in peace. They do resent it. They just tell these things to the rest of us instead of directly dealing with their errant child.
     
  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you for the compliments, and I must say I have appreciated your posts too. And best wishes for your upcoming parenthood!
     
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  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op....if parents are ready to work on the problem diplomatically...tell them to go home for medical treatment . Then inform the younger couple that your mom has been advised to rest and work less.

    Ask them to get help from bhabhi's parents.
    They should also come and enjoy being with their grandchild and their daughter.

    I feel as far as possible,the girl's parents should come for the delivery of the child .
    There are less resentments and more open communication of needs .


    This would reduce the pressure on the guy's parents to work so hard in old age when they should be enjoying life .

    If the girl's parents are allowed to take more part in the daughters life,the young couple would be more inclined to help the girl's parents also in old age.

    If it is not possible for bhabhi's parents to help...then let the young couple find their way to deal with the situation . They are educated working couple,they will find a way.

    If none of these is possible,then the young couple should employ more people to help out. What is the use of two earnings if they can't use it to get a better life. Let your parents only supervise the help.
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2018
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  4. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    Agree with you.
     
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  5. SmilingGirl02

    SmilingGirl02 Senior IL'ite

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    Thanks for thoughtful responses ladies.
    Will talk to my parents.
    Agree with suggestions, will ask MOM to take steps accordingly.
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2018
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  6. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    A new breed of grandparents who love their grandkids, but won't babysit them forever

    The Metrognome - Why I refused to take care of my grandkids

    Maybe your family has to sit and discuss this..

    There needs to boundaries and give and take or else resentments are going to be there for sure..

    Having a maid, managing a maid and babies is not so easy..in the light of a recent incident in a apartment complex, a couple of grandparents have said, we will help you but we can't take sole responsibility of watching over you..it is mentailly taxing and the fear of doubting everyone is stressing out them..

    P.s i have already shared these articles with .y family and have told them if ans when grandkids happen, it is their reponsiblity, ans i would like to be the visiting or visted gp who would love to provide a break on and off..not that mine are anywhere close to marriage..lol but no harm in setting the foundations..
     
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  7. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I think when you make suggestions you should also be careful. If you bring up SIL and her parents etc, the message will get muddled up. Just say that your brother should not be taking your parents for granted like this. And then maybe suggest they go to their home town to see mom's doctor and plan on not coming back soon.
     
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  8. SmilingGirl02

    SmilingGirl02 Senior IL'ite

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    Sure.Will follow ur suggestion.Thanks
     
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  9. silentlistener

    silentlistener Silver IL'ite

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    In other words, her brother is primarily responsible, for her bhabhi's disrespectful behaviour towards her parents. Her brother's mistakes of ommission and commission are the reason which gives room for her bhabhi to behave badly, with her parents. Is that what you mean ?
     
  10. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    Having received the gift of grand parents caring for my kids which is priceless , I will definitely pay it forward by taking care of my kid's kids if they want me too.

    The thing is that receivers of this gift need to have gratitude and not take gp's for granted
    .
     

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