working women-some issues

Hi

Hi Kanmani,

By 9 to 7 u mean u work till 7 or reach home at 7?

I am also a working mother and i leave home at 9 and reach home at around 7. i wake up at 5.30 and complete all the cooking and make the kid ready to school and go to office. Once i come back, i have coffee and sit with my kid for half an hour to help complete the home work. Then by 8 while making rotis i make her take dications, practise question answers etc., I am feeling this pattern is comfortable for both me and her. You try spending half an hour with the kid concentrating on homwework and other stuff where the kid needs ur presence. Later while you are at other chores ask the kid to do the studying part and give the kids test and dictation.
I see her class works everyday as soon as i come and see if there are ny fresh notes. Whenever i find one i make her learn them the same day and give her tests. So it becomes easier for her to face tests.


Hope this helps

 

Try to pack more during the weekends when you have more time - like learing a new lesson or problem. for the weekdays concentrate on completing the everyday homework or tests if any that are scheduled for the week.

I am working too and have sons aged 8 and 3. One must do is checking their note books if there was any note from the teacher.

Also, get them into the habit of starting the lessons by themselves and make them understand if you had a tough day at work.

Pree

 

Dear chitra Madam
I wanted to share my problems and have guidance from you . Since I could not locate the exact site in which this will fit in , I have chosen the site of working women -some issues

I am working lady and I do all the chores at home to the satisfaction of my self singlehandedly (without any much help from my husband and MIL) and have a 11 year daughter too. Inspite of doing all the work , both my MIL and husband compare me with my co-sister who is house wife . MY BIL is working in a reputed factory and are residing in factory quarters . So he comes in the Lunch to the house and frequents his office according to preferences to work . So they all sympathizes with my CO-sister in fornt of me by saying that "Oh throughout the day she is busy and runs here and there and do all the work singlehandedly and takes only one hour rest in the afternoon and also sleeps at 11-11.30 P.m and getsup early in the morning at 5-5.30 am

MY husband always says that I sleep more than her (I always find and feel that I require more sleep in spite of sleeping from 10.30. pm to 5.30 am and not feel fresh also) and not active like her (we live in different places- I in bangalore and she in salem ) My question is that why they dont sympathize with me or my husband does not understand me inspite of doing all the work being a working lady .


Similarly in the office also I do all the work very sicncerely and earned a good reputation. Earlier officer (boss) had reservation in me as to how I being a lady will be able to cope up with the pressure of the seat (as the work is very heavy and involves financial complications) . But some how with the Gods grace I coped up with the pressure and was in the good books of my officer and worked with him for 2 and half years without any problem . Now he is transferred and new person has joined in his place for the past two months . My earlier officer has briefed the new person about the staff and also about me ( This he told me personally that I have told about you and I hope he would have told the good things as his nature is never to praise or exaggerate things )

As to my observation with the new officer goes is that he is bent upon finding fault with my work (and as such till now he is not able to do so) and states that you should do more work and take more responsibilites (I already have enough resposnibilites) .

My question is that as to why he is bent upon finding fault with me inspite of briefing by my old officer

I am very very upset by the things at home and office and very depressed as to why people are not acceptiong me . Why are they harassing like this and why this is happening to me. Becuase of this i dont feel going to the office and at home also I am depressed and do not have any concentration either in reading magazines/ books
nor in doing any things . How to come out of that state .

Since I feel that this is useful and great forum which discusses the probelms of their peers , and suggests solutions , I feel any guidance from you and any others if they can will be of help to me.

Thanks in advance and waiting an early reply
Sharada

 

I can understand the pain and anguish you would be experiencing in situations that you are going at home and office. Some people have this habit of finding faults or comparing with others. We should not care about such things. Some people have this fear that if they appreciate you, you might feel elated and may dominate them, so to overcome their insecurity, they take up this activity of constantly comparing you with them and demeaning you. So please ignore your husband or in-laws words. Slowly they will stop realizing that it has no impact on you.Coming to your new boss trying to find faults, who must have heard/known of the reputation of your previous boss who never appreciates, the new boss is unable to digest that the same person can appreciate a lady employee, so he wants to prove the old boss impression as faulty and so he is hell bent upon trying to find faults in your work.In both of these cases, the only thing I think one can do and should do is to keep doing your things as you have been doing earlier and maintain restraint. Slowly they will realize their mistakes and stop bothering you. There is no need to feel depressed or frustrated. The more you feel depressed or frustrated, it results in mistakes. So don’t worry on these things and move on.

 

hey Sharada

I understand what you feel, but not to worry.it's always been the case even for me. home and office, both were a headache but neither could be avoided. Just ignore them. my husband keeps complaining as well and i have always felt the feeling of loneliness with my-inlaws. my sis-in-law is a housewife probably that's y, she is more good and better off than me, according to them. but i realy don't bother of all these now. keep ignoring and you will realise the strength in you.

Good luck sharada, keep up your hard work and leave the rest behind. if you have been always fair to people, then everything will fall into places, dont' worry! just believe in yourself.

take care!

 

u hav asked sol fr chitra i dont know if i can giv a reply bcoz iam new to this site
but after reading ur problem i want to suggest few things
first problem is that you are getting tired easily with ur household chores and also office
you are not unique that you are a working lady many women all around world are working and at the same time looking their home inspite of it they are enjoying their life
probably you are sensitive and expect praises from people around you
it is your home you are doing work for your husband and children .they cant all the time sympathise you for hard work you are putting in and praise you for everry act
2 you hav to eat well and hav a balanced and nutritious deit that will make you healthy and strong
3 boost your enerrgies by constantly hypnotysing yourself that i can do these things
these chore do not make me tired
4 if u hav a1 hour sleep less also you will be fresh but dont think that you are not fresh our body gets accostumed to what ever way we habituate it
think of doctots who do night duties and still be fresh in the morning in ospitals
5just make your mind that you will fresh with what everr sleep you get
6energy and activiness of a person depends 50%on physical strength and 50%on mental strength
7dont feed negative energy into ur mind by thinking that inlaws and husband are not praising m and my boss is finding fault with me as such
8may be you are praised at your co sisterinlaws place but not before you
8 there will be so many issue to be ignored and make you life happy and your sorroundings hppy rather than brooding overr trivial issues and make your life a miserable one
9my last advise is think that these are not a issues at all and see how positive u feel in your life
10 so many people around you may be wrong but dont expect every body to sympathise you because they are wrong towards you .by doing so you are making your life miserable
11 nobody changes on this face of earth.so make your life happy trying to adjust with those mentalities and looking only positive points in them and stop nagging over their shorcomings
sorry if i were to hurt you

 

Hi Everyone,
I am also a working woman and a mother of 31/2 yr old kid, my son is a left hander and he is studing in lower nursery, so teaching him how to write numbers are a big problem for me, moreover my time is from 9:30 am-6:30 pm ,but from the last 1 month i am noticing that my boss is releasing me at 7 ;30 pm , so by the time I reach home is 8 to 8:30 and that time if i sit with my son with his Home work he is not in the mood, so I am really confused, although I have insisted my boss to release me at 7 but somehow she makes me stay till 7:30 ,dont know how to balance the work/family equation, sp plzzz plzzz help me
Bye
Rumsbonk

 

Thanks for the responses . Because of the quick responses only , i have told my problems here . Thanks to everybody who has given me the guidance . and especially the reply given by SWEETHEART143 has changed my attitude. there is no hurting I dont know what your age is but I have understood the points .Actually in this world everybody praises in front of you and criticize at the back . Because of some wellwisher like you who has correctly judged me and advised me in the correct path ,I owe you a lot of thanks . (Actually one friend I had a long back and she was elder to me and used to guide as you are guiding but unluckily she is no more in this world and passed away before 7 years. I used to throw my problems to her and she used to make constructive criticism of me ). i feel this is a constructive criticism

Surely I will not make my life miserable and be happy and make others also happy.

Thanks and Bye
Sharada.