Working mom’s guilt – how do you deal with it?

u somehow made me recall my days when i started working again after a gap of 5 years and a 3 year old daughter and 2 year old son.
i made an arrangement to stay with my in-laws but somehow they found it difficult to cater to the kids all the time.
so, i had to enroll them in a school where day boarding was available.
kids used to attend day boarding somedays and somedays dada dadi used to pitch in to take care.
In the advancing years, i used to give them some coloring activity sheets from net and they used to complete it in the day time.

i used to take a lot of day offs from work and luckily my boss was also good.
some days i used to take kids to office (that i still do) and make them understand how i work and why work is important to me and the family.
in the spare time (even 15 minutes a day) i used to read a story book to them.
i used to sing lullybys to them, which they still cherish.

Now, my kids are 6 and 7 year old and for last one year i am living separate from my in-laws. we live in a govt.accommodation provided by the hospital my husband works in and security is very good/tight here.
so, both of us leave for office at 10 am and keep fruits, nuts, chapati/paratha, their favourite subzi, and some tit bits on the tables for them to eat.
they color, play with toys, watch CDs, play computer games and of course watch tv through out the day.
my husband come home during lunch hours between 1 to 2.30 and attend to kids and then leave around 2.30 pm.i come home around 5.30 pm.

meanwhile, we keep calling kids on the phone for emotional comfort.they are provided with the number of both of us and their dadi to talk to.


i know it is difficult to rear kids till the time they are 5 or 6 year old and specially if they are not emotionally stable. I had a very high profile job while i was living with my in-laws but when i moved to my own accommodation i chose a contractual govt job which is paying me less than one third of what i was getting earlier. but still i am satisfied that i am enjoying my family time and teaching my kids to be independent also, besides having my own life.

i myself had working parents. i feel every woman should be independent and self reliance because than your kids respect you more.

i have holidays on sat and sunday, then i indulge in my passion in designing also while my kids play with their friends. i find life very fulfilling.

one important thing that i learnt is that never ever talk negative and pitfalls of your kid, and mind u i did not say in front of him/her because u NEVER talk negative and see the miracle how your little angel turns to be so responsible over some time.
always talk their good deeds and affermative actions. talk about their strengths even if you know the kid is not listening. positivity breeds positivity and your kid somehow cultivates more confidence in him/herself.

i wish u to have patience and find a way out. keep exploring new possibilities. there is no dearth of learning. cultivate a new hobby if u don't have because it gives u life out of that routine drudgery. enjoy yourself and know your vision and goal for yourself and your family. make the health of you and your family a priority so u don't need day offs for tending a sick one but enjoying a day together.
happy parenting.

 

Godschild,

I am writing here as a daughter of a working mom and how guilty she made me feel.

Frankly I developed an aversion towards working moms. Now I understand that I am wrong. There is nothing wrong in working but do care for your children. Small ones cannot understand what you are up to. Out of love, they cry and grab your attention. Do not label them as a nagging/spoiled child like my mom did. I am the one who feels guilty all the time.

If you can smile at your child after returning from work, go work. Otherwise stay home and take care of the children. Sorry if I sound rude here. Whats the use if you get appreciated by the whole world and your own child is not happy about it?!

kpadmavathi ma'am, this is your achievement. Be proud of yourself! :hatsoff

 

thankyou very much

will certainly try.

padmavathi k