Hi op, Let's put hubby not supporting you, household chores, not working hard in his career etc away for a moment , why is he not bothered about well being of the kids? If he cares about the kids he should be living with a them while you're away . He should be very well aware that your mom can only do so much and he as a father is inevitable for kids' physical and mental health. My suggestion is to ask him to move to the city where you work, move the kids too and share responsibilities. Give your mom rest and let her decide where she wants to live.