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Women - Burden or Backbone

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by rvnachar, Feb 26, 2013.

  1. rvnachar

    rvnachar Silver IL'ite

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    Women – Burden or Backbone
    -My maternal grandfather passed away at forty, bereaving my 33-year-old grandmother, their sixteen-year-old son and 12-year-old daughter. My grandmother had studied up to fourth or fifth standard and was always living in a protected environment, with no exposure of any kind. My uncle was in his eleventh grade (SSLC) and my mother was in the sixth standard. Thankfully, they lived in a house of their own. My grandmother rented out half the house, sold a major portion of her jewellery, brought down the needs of the family to the bare minimum and saw to it that my uncle finished his graduation and my mother passed her SSLC with flying colours. Life then was not very easy and the young widow and the minor children had to sacrifice a lot and face so many hurdles. My uncle took up a job on night duty during his graduation days. If not for the struggle of a woman, my uncle would not have risen to become the Under Secretary in the Ministry of Finance and my mother would not have groomed her four children to settle down in life very well!
    -Mr.A’s father was killed in a mistaken identity case in a backward village. He was in the primary school then and his mother, an illiterate, worked as a cook and maid in several houses to bring him up and educated him up to diploma level. He joined a public sector unit and rose up to executive level. Today all his three daughters are well settled in life and his grandsons work in the US. Who else but a woman was behind this success story?
    -Ms.X lost her husband just two years after her marriage to her man of love in a gory accident and she delivered their son after her husband’s death. Though she was just in her late twenties, she opted to stay single and brings up her son with total devotion in the best environs while working as a top official in a multi-national company.
    These are just a few examples of the millions of stories around the world where women are not just home-makers, but also the bread-winners of the family! We have more cases of ‘single mothers’ than ‘single fathers’ around the world, for whatever reasons! When the man is widowed, especially in India, the entire society is so sympathetic and accepts it as natural for him to seek for a second wife, while a woman very rarely marries for the second time. The excuse the man gives is, ‘I have to earn. Who will take care of my children?’ But the reality is, he needs company. There is nothing wrong in that. I am just trying to say, a woman’s priority most often is her children and hence she stays out of marriage, because step-children are most often not accepted whole-heartedly. Today’s women, though highly educated and employed well, still give primary importance to their family and many women sacrifice their successful career for the sake of family.
    There are a number of examples of women rising up the ladder in their career and reaching the topmost posts! Not that these women have forsaken their families. But they were able to reach there because of the solid support from their families and help from others. However, many women do not opt for promotions beyond a level only because they cannot do full justice to their families. There are so many doctors and engineers leading lives as home-makers not because they are lazy but because they want to give their best to their children. There are cases of single fathers bringing up the children very well too. But they are fewer!
    The woman is definitely the backbone of the family, the society, the country and the planet. If not for a woman, there is no life. Both man and woman are equally important for the survival of this planet. However, the woman has a bigger role because of her contribution as a mother. Children who are mothered properly definitely grow up into responsible individuals. Children bear the torture of drunken fathers, put up with the ill-fame of being the children of fathers who commit crimes and can manage with irresponsible fathers, but definitely they cannot tolerate their mothers indulging in vices or committing crimes. Children of such mothers are never normal individuals. Thus mother is the first role model for a child and the child learns everything from the mother right from its days in her womb.
    Chatrapathi Shivaji, Mahatma Gandhi and so many other famous personalities owe their good virtues and success to their mothers. No wonder in the Indian culture we equate everything important to life like the earth and river to mother. We speak our mother-tongue, we live in our motherland, we farm mother earth and we worship Maa Ganga.
    In the worst of situations, when a woman accepts defeat in life and wants to commit suicide, she first kills her children and then kills herself because she cannot trust anybody else for bringing up her children in her absence! This is the limit! Scan the daily newspaper and you will find at least one such case in your city or state!
    A woman is reborn when she delivers a child. That’s how much pain she undergoes. Yet she continues procreating and loving the children. A home without a woman is incomplete. Only a woman can multi-task and bring order and sanity to homes. You can very well say the difference between homes made by women and those maintained by men! Even when the woman of the house is sick for a temporary period, the men find it so difficult to maintain the house as she did!
    Not that there are no bad women and all the women are holy and pious! We always talk of majority. Millions of women in India are doing the duties of the caretakers of the families both as men and women-meaning they are the breadwinners as well as home-makers, taking care of their children and their elders. So, how can a woman be a burden? Never! How come woman, who is an equal partner in life started being a burden all of a sudden? It is only because of the evil system of dowry, which is a man-made tragedy. Why should a woman pay to a man to lead a life with him, when she too contributes equally for the well-being of the family and the society? It is a shameful system evolved by man and then a woman became a burden to families who cannot afford to pay this dowry. In fact, a man should be ashamed to be accepting anything from a woman or her family on marriage, as it is an insult to his dignity. However, men or their parents right royally demand money and commodities from the women’s families. The day this system goes, man will start realizing the importance of woman! Already, there is an imbalance in the male-female ratio because of the cruel methods used by people to do away with girl children. The day is not far off when a man has to pay dowry to get a woman to marry him!
    Let us respect nature’s ways and accept that every player in this planet is as important as the others, however small or insignificant he/she may seem!
    Sudha Narasimhachar
     
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