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WOMEN!!! A WINNER through out her life.

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by smilealwayss, Mar 7, 2011.

  1. smilealwayss

    smilealwayss Gold IL'ite

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    Let’s take this WOMAN'S DAY as an opportunity to thank all the special women in our life. Though a mere thank you cannot express the gratitude we can make it a point to imbibe some characters of our loved ones.
    As for me my world is simply inspired by two women...... My Mom and MY Mom-in-Law. Two great ladies who never fail to impress me. The way they live their life is an example in itself.
    We are in a world, where every day we hear about how much a woman has progressed in terms of her career and financial situations. True! Very true, I am also the one to be in the same boat. Good job, handsome pay, freedom and liberty, no dictation of the timings of entering and leaving the home, be what you wanted to be, a supportive and a helping husband, cooking made so easy [thanks to all the high tech gadgets that we have in the kitchen], be it anything, everything around is the DREAM OF OUR PREVIOUS GENERATION WOMEN, THAT HAS COME TRUE for this generation.
    Good to feel this but then are we really happy? Still a million problems around to deal with ... juggle with home and office work and still feel incomplete and dissatisfied, have the liberty to be out and still be vulnerable to cruel situations, have financial independence and still feel deprived [expenses are directly proportional to our earnings], can go on and on but the point is WE have achieved so much even after all this are we really happy???
    It is this question that makes me look at both my moms. Any time I ask them, "Are they happy?" pat comes a reply “Of-course I am, what more do I need in my life."
    And I am left thinking:
    They were never given the freedom to learn [mom completed her 10 grade and mom in law her 12 grade (she was a topper and managed to bag the scholarship for her graduation even in 1970's) but alas! both were married after that and education lost forever!!!] AND THEY ARE HAPPY!!!
    Nobody asked them if they were ready for a marriage, children, the responsibility of a joint family, and such BIG issues of a married life or in short they were blindly pushed in to all this and expected to lead a life with a total stranger [I mean dad n dad in law] AND THEY ARE HAPPY!!!
    "Financial freedom??? whats that was there question, AND THEY ARE HAPPY!!!
    Go out with friends Ah ah ah ... what are friends?????? Was there question, AND THEY ARE HAPPY!!!
    Dream, career, individuality, desires, meant nothing for them, AND THEY ARE HAPPY!!!
    Think of all the problems that we ILites come across in our forums, may be our moms would have faced most them all alone, no one with them to share like we do here, AND THEY ARE HAPPY!!!
    Personally I have seen my mom who managed to be all what she is [and what we are today] in spite of a bad bad marriage. How she faced life with a smile even though she was never happy as a wife [which we realized only when we grew up a little]. As a child I never remember my mom grudge or complain about anything, though we were never happy with the way dad and my dads family behaved with her, all I remember is her happy face which really surprises me now, HOW IN SUCH A WORLD OF ABUSE SHE WAS HAPPY? If that is tolerance, she is the epitome of that. Well thats a different thing but my question, tolerating is fine but how was she happy???!
    My mom in law an example in herself, she was brilliant student who managed to get the scholarship for her college but was forced to get married because she was the eldest of all the 9 kids in her family [common situation in those days]. Then its the same story after marriage, kids, relations, big joint family, kitchen, more kitchen, and all the time in kitchen! And of-course there were many problems as well other than cooking. One life changing one was the crash in the business and the separation of the joint family thereafter. How she managed to support dad-in-law after that and helped maintain the family ... truly inspiring. In all this I forgot to mention she is also the eldest DIL and has 6 SIL and 3 co-sisters.[big family and they were all taken care of and married!!! big responsibility, the thought itself shakes me ... one kid and we plan so much for his emotional and financial security!!!]
    In a world where we are getting so very selfish she stands all alone as an example. Her mom-in-law in her 90's was bed ridden for nearly an year, when other co-sis refused to take care she stood strongly by her side[I heard she was not good to her as MIL] saying it’s our duty to take care of her and no matter what she did to her, we should not miss a chance to serve elders and how long only as long as she is alive after that no one can she will never return to this world. [Ours is a love marriage, typical north meets south story, initially I never could understand why she strained so much, but I must admit, as much as I loved my DH, I adored my MIL to the same extent! And now that it’s over one month that our great granny passed away all I remember is my mom-in-law was right, she will never return back gone, gone from this world forever!]
    All her life she has been living for others and what has she done or planned for her ... nothing !!! Sacrificing for others is fine but how was she happy???!
    Talking to them I always get this answer.... "What more do I need in life.... A small home to live in, good children, peace of mind , enough food, relations and friends around to care for, good health to be on my own, grand sons and daughters to play with... isn't all this enough to be happy?"
    They both question me back!!!!
    I ask them again "you career, your desires, your individuality, don't you miss all that in life, managing a home is no less job, and in fact it’s even tougher than working outside. You never get recognized but you have to give all of yourself no break, no rest, no pay, didn't you ever wish you had your freedom?"
    The answer
    "pay ... money is not the only pay... I have better pay than that ... you kids!! You are the back up for our old age and not money.
    My desires and goal .... to teach you kids that world is full of happiness even though we have little troubles... I had to be happy to make you feel the happiness and I truly felt happy seeing you all no matter what the problems were, all I wanted was to bring up responsible children and I believe I have succeeded in that.
    Recognition!!! We have good people around who care to get our advice and believe in what we do.... What more recognition do we need?
    Missing a career……….. Never thought so much. We did what we were ought to do without any grudge and with full commitment. We were happy and are happy today having you all close to us.
    And one important thing we are satisfied with our life, have a contentment of having the best, have a peace of mind and faith in god that everything will be for our good, be it any tragedy or celebration!” this answer and its time for me to think.:hide:

    May be its time that we imbibed at least some of their thoughts to be with peace with our selves. The point is not to hamper the growth of women or learn to tolerate or sacrifise but to believe in doing what we do, give it the best and feel contended. Let’s accept that whether we are career women or house wives we are at our best and will always remain a WINNER no matter what.
    [FONT=&quot]A happy woman’s day to you all the winners out there who are proudly known as WOMAN.:bonk

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  2. SARASVADIVU

    SARASVADIVU Silver IL'ite

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    Dear smiley,

    Congrats..a very nice analytical piece there!!:thumbsup

    I personally liked the lines,
    "If that is tolerance, she is the epitome of that."

    Very true..most of the mothers are that.

    :cheers
    Saras
     
  3. anjali10

    anjali10 New IL'ite

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    Dear smile,

    Very rightly said.
    They are happy when they did not have anything.
    We crib even when we have everything.
    Whether people ackowledge or not, we are doing our best

    Warm regards
     
  4. smilealwayss

    smilealwayss Gold IL'ite

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    THANK YOU Saras and Anjali mam.... for the comments !!
     

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