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With Love To The Indian Grandparents Visiting the US – Varalotti In The US 7

Discussion in 'Wednesdays with Varalotti' started by varalotti, Sep 27, 2007.

  1. Kurunji

    Kurunji New IL'ite

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    I've been living in Dubai for over 10yrs. now, and previously resided in Muscat , Oman for about 5 yrs. What is happening in Kuwait is EXACTLY how patients are treated here and in Oman too. Most of the ailments afflicting people here are chronic as the main reason is due to the 24hr. Airconditioning. At home, in supermarkets, taxis, malls, schools everywhere.... So apart from Nebulizer, antibiotics are the standard prescribed for all. It is an extremely frustrating time :bang with the doctors / hospitals ; sometimes even pharmacies run out of medicines, because the same is being prescribed for everybody.
    Till date I have not seen or known a child who has never had any respiratory or skin problem living in the Gulf -- My son included !!! Some unfortunate kids have both eczema and asthma ! Their immune system is terribly weakened and a simple change of weather or playing in the park at noon triggers another bout ...... poor poor things.
    As sujathae has rightly said, the pvt. hospitals are worst ----- for a simple vaccination you have to wait for over 2 hrs. [ even with prior appointment:shock: ] , then you are coolly told the vaccine is not available, come tomorrow. NOT AN OUNCE OF CARING will be there. Esp. for kids better to have the same paediatrician who knows the immune system and history of the child ; and the few really caring good doctors who do not prescribe antibiotics, but either they leave the country for Western pastures or join the wagon to get more patients, more money etc. etc.

    For a seasonal cough I was given a breath analysing test [ for what :confused: ??], chest CT scan - twice , an inhaler which costs a min. of about Indian rupees 4,000 + , the usual Actifed, Benadryl etc. etc...., plus the 'specialists' consultation fees ; after writing the prescription and while giving me advise on steam inhaling ,as an afterthought he took out his stethoscope [after a bit of searching mind you, :rotfl as he couldn't find it] and placed it on my back to listen to 'chest congestion' -------- isn't this what he has to do FIRST ! It seems like a hilarious event now-- but that has put me off doctors here, completely no trust in any of them.

    Best bet is to be fit / eat wisely and not to fall sick at all ---or if you do, better worship and pray to your family/favourite deity, take some chukku kaapi, kashayam , inhale Vicks, tell hubby /kid to eat KFC for one meal, have a cosy good sleep :thumbsup ---- instead of allowing the greedy medics to fool around with your system.
     
  2. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kurunji,

    Your post was surely an eye-opener for me. I thought in a rich emirate like Dubai, things will be different. But from your post, I come to know it is not so.

    From what you say, I will rather think that US is far better in that regard. If you are living in the US as a citizen or a green card holder, either your company takes care of medical insurance or you are in a position to pay for it. A family of four requires roughly 1000$ a month for a comprehensive coverage. But then you have to make co-payments. That is a part of the bill has to be borne by you. But that's okay. You get top-class medical treatment. No bungling up.

    After reading your post I come to think of the sacrifices made by people like you living there in the Gulf. Unfortunately NRIs in the gulf are regarded as "mobile, free shopping malls" by their friends and relatives and India. They get long shopping lists from their Indian relatives.

    I have a policy. When some one writes to me from a foreign land asking me if I want anything from there, I tell them, "enough, if you come here safely and happily. I want nothing more than that. But if you insist, just get me a chocolate bar as a token of your love."

    Your post was quite informative, Kurunji.
    regards,
     
  3. Jithiks

    Jithiks Gold IL'ite

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    Informative and Positive !

    Dear Sridhar,

    I happened to land in this thread thru the link provided by you in Episode 6 of ALS. And boy.....I am so happy that I did !

    I am yet to read all the othe parts of your visit to US, but just read this 7th part today.

    I am amazed by the way you've listed down both the positive and negative aspects of life in US !! There is an absolute balance in the way you've penned down your thoughts without any bias ! Hats off to you for that !

    Mostly I've seen people from India forming a negative opinion about US life. Probably because they had expected it to be a bed of roses and come here with such high expectations ! :)



    Very true Sridhar !

    These are exactly my thoughts and I am so delighted you've put it down in such lovely words !

    Wish everyone could see it this way and develop a positive approach.

    Will surely try to read all the parts !

    Regards
    Krithika
    <?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O /><O:p itxtvisited="1">
     
  4. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Informative and Positive !

    Dear, dear Krithika,
    You have flattered me by posting a fb to a post written almost a year ago. I had known about the US companies and I have to confess I went to the US with some kind of a negative opinion. But I had an open mind and tried my best to live an American life when I was there. Or rather, an American-Indian life. Long hours of commuting, bean berrittos from Taco Bell for lunch, tissue paper in the toilet, relationship with my colleagues in the workspot- I did everything the American way before I ventured to write this article.
    I also met a couple of disillusioned grand parents who were bored to death in the US.
    People here in India think a la Dick Whittington that the streets of America are paved with gold and that our people living there are rolling in money. On the contrary our people go through the same kind of pain, suffering, dilemma, uncertainty that we Indians experience back home. That's one of the greatest lessons I learnt in this trip.
    If only Indians back home can understand this... the lives of their relatives working in the US would be much easier.
    thanks once again for the fb, Krithika.
    regards,

     
  5. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Sridhar Sir

    Very nice way of picturing things how itwould be for parents when they come to US....I think it also depends on the place which they are coming to..If they are coming to places where there are more Indians..beleive me the moment you comeout of your apartment or stand in the balcony you get to see all the parents who came fromIndia strolling around for a morning walk or sitting in their patios etc.

    Also the more Indians the more temples,,I think a Dish TV would also help them to keep upto date on Indian news andprograms....finally when we hear or see programs in our local language makes it feel like we are at home...

    Yeah its like a prison when parents are put at home 24/7 to take care of the new born,...we children think our parents are experienced so can take their help..but sometimes i think its too much of an expectation as the parents are growing old and they need rest at this age and they have been through all the baby raising ....playing and having fun for few hours with the new born is a diff. thing and totally raising them is a diff.thing...I think for some women, only delivery time is when they can ask / request their husband to get her parents here for help..that way the parents get to visit US and also visit their daughter in that critical time...(if its their only duaghter...)I know one of my relative who has 3 daughters and she juggled so much to manage everyones delivery and ceremonies of new borns and the duaghters fight saying mom did this for you but not for me etc..etc...sheer ignorance..not even paying attention to mom as how she is struggling at this age

    thanks for sharing the views from both sides....good one to read by all kids who are expecting parents to come for the delivery and stay and help them..
     
  6. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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    Srividya,

    I was in the US for 2 months in 2007. I wrote ten pieces -Varalotti in the US 1 to 10. I loved writing this thread because I bumped upon one or two Indian parents in Seattle, Bellevue, Issaquah and could hear their views of
    their US stay.

    I still remember the old man I met. He was almost jumping in joy when the news came that his Visa could not be extended any further.

    I am happy you liked the piece Srividya.

    Now I and wife know very well that we have one more house in the US.

    Take care and God bless.
    love,
    sridhar
     
  7. Jyothisri

    Jyothisri Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Sridhar sir,

    I have been a silent reader of your articles until now. I just came across this article of yours that is nearly 2 years old but is still so relevant. And I just had to come out and thank you for writing this. Your writings stimulate our intellect and make us readers think, which is what I like about the way you write. It is wonderful to see someone so open-minded and so tolerant of a different way of life, and willing to learn new things while retaining one's Indian identity all the time.

    I am quoting below some of your writing that has made an impression on me:

    You are so right. Maturity is not just about growing old physically, that is called ageing. Maturity is when the mind and soul have a better understanding of life and people.

    Even though this article is about grandparents visiting the US, it also applies to parents who come to visit their children, and to H4 wives, who come to the US with rose-tinted glasses.

    I believe that we, the Indian people, are very dependent on other people for own entertainment. The day we realize that spending time with our own selves for sometime is not so bad, we will feel liberated from the boredom that we experience so frequently while living in the US. I understand that it is tough for elders to live within the confines of an American house or an apartment all day with no one to talk to. That is why everyone visiting should come with an open mind and be prepared for the life here, and not believe that everything is hunky-dory in the US - the relationship the visitors have with their hosts is of course the main factor here.

    Your article is a must read for all Indians visting the US. Sorry for my long post. I will now go and read the rest of your articles in this series!

    Regards
    Jyothi
     
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2009
  8. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Jyothi I always was thinking on these lines but you have put it so very well....I wanted to post something on these lines about respecting elders....are we supposed to respect them for the age or for the maturity??? if some one just ages and cant control their bursts of anger how do we treat them...anyways I dont want to hijack Sridhar sirs thread here......glad to see your so thoughtful and mature views...
     
  9. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Sridhar

    After a long time I am giving fb to your post. Since I am busy with my grandkids dont get time to go through all the posts. I just happened to read this post and it is so inormative specially for people who visit US. South Indians are usually fond of south indian food and since their culture is different it is difficult for them to adjust in abroad countries. But now a days many youngsters are settled abroad and some require their parents to look after their children. But grandparents cant stay abroad for long. People who know to enjoy life can live anywhere. Hope I am correct.

    love
    viji
     
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2009
  10. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Viji,
    I feel like seeing you after aeons. In those days when I was writing Love All you used to be the first to post a fb. At times I had delayed posting of an episode to enable you to read first.
    And then there was this long, long absence during which time I did not hear a word from you.
    I am sure that I should have hurt you in some way or other. Whatever it is forgive me.
    Welcome back to this forum. (Of course you need also to visit my blogspace where there is most of action these days).
    You are right. Grandparents cannot be treated as gratuitous baby sitters. You can enjoy life anywhere provided there are no restrictions on movement and activities. In the US you can't do anything without your host's involvement, approval or participation. That makes US life a lot more tougher.
    thanks for joining me again. Looking forward to seeing you in my blogs as well.
    love,
    sridhar
     

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