Wishing good things

Go with him now you know where things could lead to.. a prepared mind is far better..have a great time..

 

Falguni, I know it must be overwhelming for you to have him show up suddenly. You have 3-4 days more to think about this weekend. I know you want to spend time with your husband. Dont make that your weakness. Be tactful. Your husband may use your love as weakness.Everything is not hunky dory as your husband thinks it will be. It will only be if you let him think so.Tell him you wont be attending the event.You need to push him to talk about him moving away on a sly. It looks like a calculated move which was discussed more with your in laws and husband rather than you and him.

Spending time with your husband has to be a 2 way street. Not only you wanting it. We women are more emotional and giving then men. But there are times we need to be tuff and cold.This is also one of those times. When your husband comes, tell him you wont join him until you talked and come to a decision about all your problems.It will help until then that he doesnt visit you. He cant dilly dally with leaving you helpless one time and come back again like that never hapened.You take control and tell him to stop this nonsense.I am sorry to say nonsense but thats what he is doing .

Be a 3rd person and jot down what you want to talk about . Tell him what you expect out of him and what you can do. Draw the boundaries about your in laws. esp your MIL. If you dont you will be sorry. This is the time to be
a position of control. If he disagrees, its better now than later.Dont make any promises .Be firm and tell him how hurt you were in past incidents. Dont show him that you want to get back with him.Be indifferent.

Does he honestly think your MIL will let him be happy with another girl of her choice. For in laws its always if its not you its some other girl in your place. All they want is control over their sons and DIL as a fringe benefit. Be indifferent to all his promises of he will take care of his mom during fights. That never happens. You shud set some boundaries now rather than later. Dont budge.Remember ,You are in driver position now. Dont let him become one.Then its all downhill from there.

Remember to jot down that there will be minimal contact or interaction about decisions here from your in laws. It shud be you and your husband deciding things not you, hubby and MIL.Give him a feeling you will walk away if that continues.Its a strategy for good things to come.I will add after I see all your posts from past. Good Luck.

 

Dear Falguni,
You should have gone out with H for lunch ,dinner and ironed out the differences.
Staying in the kitchen cooking while he cleaned the apt is trying to sweep everything under the carpet , making it appear as if everything is fine.
Women always think with their hearts and come out losers most of the time.
Sorry to break the bubble but is your home cooked food enough for the guy?
Ask him frankly ' Is the marriage on or off '?
Better talk about your problems before going on the trip or he will be coming time and again when he needs your presence as a wife while you hang in the air thinking will he come back or won't he?
As a wife you have a right to know where you stand and his intentions.

 

hi falguni....am sorry to play the spoil sport here, as many feel that its better for you to go with him....and i have come to write here, not to tell whether you should go or not, but from your post, i noticed something that striked me as odd (have quoted that above).......im sorry dear that you are as much confused whether to go or not, but i just couldnt help but thought to tell here what i can see as an outsider....

you told that the event is necessary for him, and not that much for you. if from a third point view i had to put my thinking cap on, i would definitely feel used that he chose such a timing as near as the event to come and try to patch up....i would think that he is trying to do this only because he didnt want anyone else outside to know whats happening...if this has to be seen positively, it could mean that he has not shared about this with anyone....and maybe his ego is stopping him from coming and apologizing from the heart.......Or, he is just trying to save himself on the outside...

whatever it is, i only thought that even if you decide to go, thats ok, but u shud really really keep all this in mind, and maybe try to sort it out sooner than keep thinking that all this will pass away automatically....i think you have come to a stage where one-to-one talk is a must.........main thing is, he should not think that you can be available any time and he can keep rolling you anyway he wants...thats how much strong you should become......

 

This is a possibility.

Whether you want to go or not is your decision.

But if you go, just decide well ahead of time what are the things you plan to talk to him and what are the things that should never escape out of your mouth.

Or make the list and email it to him and ask him to come prepared for a discussion for your long ride.

If he is really willing to work on the relationship, he will continue with the plan and be willing to meet you and discuss with you.

But whatever it is, please make sure you both do not fight while driving. Dangerous to be distracted.

Take care.

 

At some point of time, you have to talk. You decide when the timing is right. Even then start with smaller topics..other leave for latter.