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Will You Keep Quiet If Your Husband Chats With A Far Related Cousin Sister Almost Everyday

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by SBRose, Mar 19, 2018.

Will you keep quiet if your husband chats with a far related cousin sister almost everyday

  1. Yes

    2 vote(s)
    9.5%
  2. No

    19 vote(s)
    90.5%
  1. SBRose

    SBRose Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Thanks again, But i dont want to post the whatsapp screenshots here..
     
  2. SBRose

    SBRose Bronze IL'ite

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    I really value your time going into details. But as i know his activities for so many years - i am now seeing a new person chatting like this. If he goes
    On like this, i am sure he will get an emotional bondage there and i will be out of focus for him.
     
  3. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Choice is yours.
    I did not ask you to post the whatsapp screen shot here. But I have asked you to give us some hints as to what exactly they were discussing.
    It can be anything under the sun. But what exactly that makes you uncomfortable.

    Your repeated posts in this thread only shows what you think about their chats, and what are you worried about their chats. But nothing about what they chat....

    For ex: If my H is inferior or insecure about me, then my daily "good morning" msg to my male friend can put him down. He may worry what if I focus on the other friend, and what if I keep my H out of my focus.
    But it doesn't really mean my msgs to my friend is wrong. It is about my H's insecurity which is wrong.

    Nevertheless, i rest my posts here. You know what suits you best. Take care
     
  4. SBRose

    SBRose Bronze IL'ite

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    Thank you. Example of what they chat is the she asking for gifts for herself and he keeps on asking what all she wants,
    By the way the conversation start with “Hi dear “ from his side and no good Morning messages
     
  5. paru123

    paru123 Gold IL'ite

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    Op,what's the age of the cousin and is she married and has kids?
    Is it possible for you to chat with that cousin without your husbands knowledge from his phone. I am sure you can actually get to know the actual intentions behind the chatting. If its just a casual one like someone posted here nothing to worry, people do that for some time pass from their routine boring life. If other wise, you could warn her about the consequences that she might face.
     
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  6. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    Op,
    If you are 100 % sure that this chatting is cheating , call or message his cousin and ask her to stop chatting with your husband. Tell her If she don't stop, you will send the screen shot to her husband and let everyone know about it. Let both of them get a taste of their actions.

    If their chating is just friendly respecting the boundaries, then don't waste time thinking about it.

    I also have many male friends , but don't think I need to chat with them everyday. I think it is not needed without any reason. Once in a while is fine. I need to respect their wives too( we don't know what's in their mind). That's my boundary. I also dont entertain chatting to me too everyday .This boundary may very with person to person.

    If his romantically inclined chat everyday is hurting you, then he should stop it. If he don't listen completely ignore him and stop doing anything for him as his wife. You should not even acknowledge him. Focus your attention on your life and keep moving ahead with confidence and secure your future
     
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2018
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  7. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Another concern here, she is asking for gifts ? like others mentioned , hold on to your finances and watch out for yourself. I wonder what her intentions are . Your husband at 50 is probably going through a mid life crisis and this lady provides him with all the thrill and excitement . Keep an eye out for any fishy bank transactions as well. Nip this in the bud right now .

    And I don’t think you are overreacting or being unreasonable. In today’s day and age we all have close friends of the opposite gender. But one does not chat with them everyday at the cost of making the spouse unhappy .




     
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  8. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

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    From your posts, main points that struck me,
    1)Husband renewing the chatting business even after Nov warning
    2)Showing anger on you for asking him to stop chat
    3)Doing this everyday

    If there is really nothing, people eventually stop after sometime,because initial enthusiasm of chatting after years fades. But true that, he may become close to her even if not now,but in the near future looking at his activities.Since he has now agreed to not to chat,monitor him for sometime and never become lenient at any point of time during this period. Because once he knows you are sort of stop monitoring him/ this setup, he may become dominant thinking you have nowhere to go and hence given in.

    If you seriously think about separation or letting everyone know, start collecting evidences like screenshots and also get her husband's POV on this.Maybe her husband doesn't know.Also let you inlaws and parents know.Your husband should know that if there is nothing ,then he can stop this to save his face amongst your people.
     
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  9. SBRose

    SBRose Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Paru, Thanks for your suggestions. I haven’t met this cousin sister. Not sure of her age. Looks quite young in the selfies. I have warned him to stop chatting yesterday. I got more courageous after i got advice from Lovely Ladies here. The fight has brrn going on past few days. I am coming out of this stresss now. I hope he will stop. If he doesn’t i will try your suggestion .
     
  10. SBRose

    SBRose Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks so much for all valid points and advise, you have very clear thinking. Their chats are more than friendly, Thats the reason for my stress. I really appreciate you , I will follow your advise,
     

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