Will You Be Offended?

No, I would not be offended at all.
Unexpected things do come up, especially with work.
There is no need to feel so entitled. They cannot leave all their work aside and sit on the couch to entertain you. Atleast they accommodated you. You could relax at their place while they finish their call and then spend some time after that.

Just because we informed ahead does not mean we can throw around an attitude and try to paint SIL in bad light.

 

Work from home in India is quite stressful for some people. Even if they have visitors, they find it very difficult to even give 1 hr without disturbances to the visitor.
In this scenario, the sisters family was very rude and insensitive. The sibling and her family does know her work scenario very well and also know that you have come from so far, spending so much and after such a long time to meet them. She should have made herself available or not invite at all. Or if on the same day, some unexpected urgent work has come then atleast tell her spouse or children to be available or take all out for sight seeing.

 

Hi Mangaa,

Whatever happend happen. Now you can't change it.

I have been in similar situation and expecting to be there again in the future. Some families we can't cut out. We have to maintain them.

This is how I treat it. I take the initiative in planning. I ask specifically what we will after I reach, where we will go etc. ( because i had experience in the past that if I leave it on them and they will ignore me and I will be a "post"!!.)

Now after I reach there if they gonna sit on the call whole day I let them be and move on with the plan. I will come back to same house but day time I will enjoy as I planned.

I too wish sometimes if I had family which we see in movies and all getting excited to see us.

Unfortunately not everyone is lucky enough and it's okay..
We have so many different blessings to count and we can move on.

 

Dear @mangaii ,

@Rihana has said it the best. I would feel bad, too and I would make all effort to be welcoming and nice.

That said, I truly believe that it is unfair to you and your family to associate India trips with these types of experiences. I have to say the ball is in your court now. You cannot wallow in feelings like this about your trips to India. We need to associate more with India than just immediate family! This is true for many of us—those with families and those without. See how you can do that. Maybe plan a trip to a place you have always wanted to visit and make that the primary focus. Our trips are getting to be that way - we visit other cities and plan a couple of days in our hometown - it is a different matter that we don't have immediate family in India anymore. Maybe you can ask your family to join you there for a couple of days? Whatever is left of our family do join us for these trips.

I know you didn't ask for suggestions, but dear @mangaii, we simply need to pick ourselves up. What other way is there, tell me?

 

Once I had an appointment to meet a doctor while camping in out station. I had a kind of virus fever. At the appointed time i met the doc but he was talking talking to two different phone lines and i could make out he was talking to his family members only. Time was ticking by . I was fed up. As i got enraged but could not release the anger or anguish, i simply jerked the chair and left his chamber. A while later from out side I called him and instantly he picked up on first ring. I told him I was a while sitting before him and during my appointment how he could be engaged on phone for such a long time. He apologised and I wished him godspeed: but I did not go back to him again.
In another place a boss was letting him the visitor who entered with his stuffed brief. While he was talking cheerfully over landline
phone, the visitor was bit aghast looking aplomb. Ten minutes gone by. Then the boss shook hands and asked the purpose of his visit. The visitor said he is tecnician from telephone exchange and had come to mend his (the boss) dead telephone line.

 

Late post, but it is very interesting thread and very relatable too.

I would not feel offended, but definitely feel bored, bad, and learn an important lesson to not to repeat the same mistake again. Of course costly lesson, but that's how we grow.

I have been at both sides. Several years before when I thought visiting and staying at relatives'/friends' place is normal just like my parents did during our childhood, I would simply do the needful (like informing them in advance about our visit/stay, and buy some gifts and make sure our visit wasn't disturbance to them by any means) and pack the bags. But with time, I learnt an important lesson that not everyone is genuinely happy or excited about our visit. For some it is just another guest, for some it is a disturbance and only a very few would be genuinely happy and excited about your stay. But everyone will say yes, and even welcome us for the sake of it.

As I matured, I learned to differentiate who is actually looking forward to see me visit them and who is not. Then my tickets, gifts and more importantly my time would be dedicated for them only.
Others will only receive a courtesy visit whenever both are ready to tolerate each other. No offence, but a win-win for both, and for the society.

During my sister's visit, I remember taking office calls, and meetings during the day. Those meetings were meant to be small, yet important. Therefore, taking the entire day off for just a few hrs of work engagement during my sister's visit doesn't seem to be a wise act to me.

Other than those calls, I would be "practically" with them throughout the day, even though 'technically" it will be my office day (teleworking day). Most of the time, it goes well.

However, sometimes the unexpected happens and calls get dragged for long. They even force me to a typical work mode; making it practically impossible to engage with our guests.
Not always, but yes, it can happen.

During such times, I would simply apologize and ask my sister to feel at home, rather take the lead be it cooking or overseeing the maids or planning kids activities for the day on my behalf.
When takes the lead, I would simply take a back seat and follow her

At the end of the day, she is my sister and not a guest from outside. We would catch up at night with a glass of wine for the lost time and regarding the change of plan.