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Will it make things worst ????????

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by pihoousa, Feb 27, 2012.

  1. pihoousa

    pihoousa Senior IL'ite

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    Hi,:bowdown Ladies....

    I have been married for 7 years and i am blessed with one girl shes 3 yrs old biggest problem is every night he drinks 3-4 glasses of red wine,beer 3 cans,rum,whiskey he keeps drinking till he falls to bed like proper ALCOHOLIC..

    I am 32 yrs old and i feel time to plan second one but because of
    his drinking habit we fight when i stop him from drinking he wud bring
    divorce word once in 6 months but then things get under control and we are fine

    he is drinking since 15 years, he cant quit it n cant control it too..
    Plase advice me is it wise to have another kid ..................................:hide:
    there's lot of pressure from friends,my lo,family and i myself want to complete the family..
    what do i do plzzzz..HELP
     
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  2. renutn

    renutn Gold IL'ite

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    You have been married for 7 years and still he is not changed and you also din't bother to change.
    I heard most men after marriage reduce their drinking habits as they tend to become responsible person in the family.
    On top of this you want one more child? Please put a break.
    Did you made an attempt to reduce his drinking habits? He has been drinking from last 15 years and did you thought about his health? Give me some information what have you done so far ;
     
  3. cutemonster

    cutemonster Platinum IL'ite

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    you are thinking and worried about having a kid when ur husband seems to have a drinking problem !
    you have to try to find the cause of his drinking , is it some emotional problem or is it plain alcohol dependence.
    my advice is seek professional help . take him to a doctor and get his medical examination done , long term alcohol abuse can have a lot of effect on our body and can lead to diff problems , loss of libido being one of them. may be thats why he is not interested in having another baby. besides that liver and kidney problems are also common in alcoholics.
    secondly since he feels he cant quit or control this shows he is dependent on alcohol , he need a counciling session and professional help. take him to some good Councillor , i am very sure he will not agree with this that this a serious issue but u have to do it not only for his sake but your own family future also.u are in usa u should be able to find good doctor who deals with alcohol abuse.
    u have to help him in giving up this habit .
    forget about completing the family !!!!!!!!!!! its more imp to have a healthy family than a complete dysfunctional family . u don't want Ur kids to grow up seeing a father who is alcoholic.
    my only advice is seek professional help. its urgent !
     
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  4. jogu07

    jogu07 Gold IL'ite

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    Well, firstly I would say, do u or dont u want ur DH to quit....???
    secondly, if u want to, pls try to help him get out of this habit asap as it would have adverse effects on his health, forget abt everythin else...I guess the quantum of his intake is too much and needs immediate care and attention, I would suggest that, y dnt u take initiative and find a solution for his problem...

    To start with, pls try to find out the reason for his drinkin....and accordingly seek help to help him get rid of this habit...

    Hope this works for u and yes about ur second child would suggest that pls keep it last in ur priority list at the moment....

    Good Luck to u and keep us posted so tht we can help u in whichever ways we can...!!!
     
  5. bukbuk

    bukbuk Silver IL'ite

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    Some men do drink. It's harmless if he just resists himself to drinking in late evenings and then going to bed without any masala. How's your hubby otherwise? Is he a nice man when he's sober? Does he drink during the day? Does he treat you and your child well? Your family and his family well?
    I think you need to consider all these things while planning for second child.
     
  6. SallyR

    SallyR Silver IL'ite

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mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;} </style> <![endif]--> Your husband is an alcoholic. The quantity and frequency of his drinking is beyond recreational/social drinking. He needs help but important thing is he should realise that he needs help. If he doesn’t realise and want to quit then it’ll be extremely difficult for you to make him quit. Please don’t plan to have another child now. Talk to him and try to make him understand the seriousness of his addiction.
     
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  7. blessed

    blessed Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear OP , Complete family doesn't mean just by having two kids... a family is complete when there is peace, understanding and love even with one kid.
     
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  8. Visasri

    Visasri Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear OP,
    To be frank if your husband is drinking too much chances of getting a child is very less. If he is also willing for the second child better tell him that, you can get lot of proofs from the net for this statement. TTake him to a rehab and shower more love only these two can bring him out of this practice. Remember now he would be out of control, he is controled by alcohol. Ask him to try home made wine as an alternative. Best of luck.
     
  9. Mrudhani

    Mrudhani Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,
    I feel putting an end to your husband's drinking habit is more important than planning for a second kid.
    Pls do this asap. Society (I mean family, friends and relatives) dont know the real picture and its u who will have to shoulder the coming responsibilities with ur second one.

    I would advice u to treat ur husband as a kid and somehow help him by all means to come out of this. This habit is going to be a pain in the long term even for ur first girl.

    But always remember to be patient till u achieve this target
     
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  10. fencesitter

    fencesitter Platinum IL'ite

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    Its a case of addiction.Groups like alcoholics anonymous will help.
     
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