Will ever daughter-in-law becomes equal to daughter in mother-in-laws view ?

Sils in my opinion become insecure of their position in the family once the brother gets married. The joint family system only makes things worse. Don't know if and when things will change.

 

Don't treat mil like mother as they Will never treat u like daughter. Own daughter is of course more close to them since blood is thicker than water. Sils feel insecure and instigate their mils. Mils must have their own mind. Sometimes they can't balance also as their daughter will complain they give dil more importance. My sil is one Such person. It does not bother me anymore as I try to be emotionally distant to them. It's easier since I don't stay with them.

 

It's like asking when and where will two parallel lines meet ........

 

Sadly for this to happen, it will take years... Two people totally not related to each other living under the same roof (in some cases), will take a while to adjust. Add to this equation, attention of one person on the two of them; insecurities from either side complicate issues. My mom says that for an in-law to fully understand her daughter-in-law will take at least 15 years.. even then, her own blood comes first. Just like how we cant always consider our in-laws our own, they cant too!!!

Mythili

 

Answer is No. They could love you closer to their daughter, not as much as their daughter. Just like how we could love mom-in-law close to our mom, but can not equate them to Mom.

Thing is, there would always be a glass-line which we can never cross. I can just make a face at my Mom, and throw a tantrum (for fun), and just impulsively hug my mom if I want to... can I ever do that to my Mom-in-law even though i love her so much ? Answer is No, I can not.

So, the answer is No.

 

Hi, the answer is No..... You can never ever compare yourself with sil. Also you cannot annoy them as well. But no matter how much you do it will remain the same. I have a dominating co-sister in-law who behaves exactly in the same manner and on top of that my husband too sides with her with rest of my in-laws. The only reply you can give to your sil is that I try to do whatever I can and then vanish yourself completely from the situation!!!!! You need not to do anything for your in-laws because no matter whatsoever you do for them they will always criticize you and their expectations will increase further.
So DON't DO ANYTHING FOR THEM!!!!!! At least your feelings will not get hurt.

By the way what reply you give them when they criticize you?

 

101% true... I feel same..I don't hv any SIL...but as a sister/daughter I feel same..now my both brothers.. are unmarked but whenever we talk about there wedding I feel..that this relation is going to change after his wedding
Like now we talk daily we chat on Skype.if I say anything to my bros they are ever ready to do any thing for me but after wedding wife will be important to them..
And as DIL I feel am other can forget all faults done by daughter but when DIL do same she remember her time how she was treated so...the fight begins....haha I feel same...