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Wife extra marital relation caught - Applying divorce - Need suggestion

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by sumaramesh, Nov 8, 2012.

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  1. sumaramesh

    sumaramesh New IL'ite

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    nemesis, i dont know what ur trying to say here ???

    What do you mean here ??? you mean i have no better work and sit and defame others ???
    I am getting no single penny by defaming others, i never talk ill of my MIL also, do you think
    i will talk ill of my SIL.. Infact my sil likes me, as i am very friendly with both of my SIL's and
    buy them lots of gifts....But EMA is not forgivable, and she deserves this....



    Be out of my thread.. I am sure others know me well, by my other threads and posts....
     
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  2. sumaramesh

    sumaramesh New IL'ite

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    Sure thanks for your concern.....

    Yes my parents, my bro and i am taking bail to be on safer side..

    My parents come from very respectable family, and both me n my dh is S/W engineer.
    we dont want to loose respect in society by this nonsense of her....
     
  3. vidyamenon

    vidyamenon New IL'ite

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    well i gave an honest opinion and ms.suma understood it!
     
  4. Padmash

    Padmash Platinum IL'ite

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    This ws a totally immture thing done by her. As you hve mentioned your brother can prove she cheated him for her boyfriend. It will be very easy for them to get divorce as infedilty is one of the valid reson for divorce if it can be proved. But still you have so many issues to settle. Will she agree for divorce? Court will definitely ask for her agreement for divorce. They have a kid. She may or may not get custody for child. Even though there is infedilty i think your brother might have to give maintenance as she is neither professionally qualified nor working. Most importantly court will ask you to give her a chance and there will be some settlement period when they need to live together as a couple. I am not sure about anything but this all i am telling you what i have heard about others. I dont think she will agree for divorce. They are from poor famliy so there will be many things from their side. Dont worry about relatives just think about your own. When husband sleeps with other women .. alwys wife is the one to be silent and forgive him to make the family happy for kids sake.. we talk many big big things. I know human nature is uncertain.. can't you all speak to her again and give her another chance .. definitely bound her with some agreements legally.. I will also hate infedilty but this girl is really immature.. just think once.. I am really sorry for hurting you.. i know your family will be going through a lot of stress, but things will not be very good even after divorce.. divorce is easier to obtain if other party is at falut if we can prove.
    I will tell you one true case which happened in our neighbourhood. We are from eatern UP. In our neighbourhood there is a family with 5 beautiful daughters. They are famous for their affairs before marriage. They all got married before 20age just because of their beauty.. mother too characterless.. all are well settled but their youngest daughter couldn;t keep herself away from such habits.. So whenever she will come to her mother's house she will be spending whole day with ehr ex lover.. finally one day her husband{an advocate) caught her.. they went for divorce.. i am not aware whether her husband had any proof against her or not.. but they got order from court to live together.. they lived but still they were not happy and this wife didnt agreed for divorce.. they have 2sons.. at least 2years they lived separately but they decided to stay together for kids.. now they are really happy all kids grown up.. This happened 12yrs back..
    Here in both the cases both the women were not matured not well educated.. she told truth to your brother when he forced her.. i am sure still this marriage can work.. think before proceeding to court.. Divorce will be much easier if she agrees..
     
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  5. insha

    insha Gold IL'ite

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    Honestly speaking ,since you have already contacted lawyers,do as per what they say rather than looking for suggestions here.They would give you better suggestions because they would have seen n number of such cases.
     
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  6. sumaramesh

    sumaramesh New IL'ite

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    Yes Insha, my first posts was for asking suggestions, as it was a big shock to entire family,
    i wanted opinions and suggestions of people, who would have heard of such cases and solutions to it...

    But now we met and hired a higher end lawyer, he takes cases only of higher officials and politicians and stuff.he also comes in t.v for legal advice, lucking touch wood, we are in right hands..We met him throught my dad's cousin who is in police department... Hoping, we mite get justice soon...
     
  7. sumaramesh

    sumaramesh New IL'ite

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    Padmavt

    No offence, but she doesn't deserve my brother...

    Guess you dint read properly about her, She dint have affair after marriage with her X-Love but with new man, and left that neighbour also for her rich family relative.. She is having multiple partners, even if shes forgiven now i am sure, after 2/3yrs she will get guts to do again, as she knows nothing most happened this time...Also she doesnt have good mom to correct her, as you mite have read, she herself has affairs(rumours we got from relatives)

    All her affairs are with low class people like painters,car drivers, what if those guys tomorrow blackmail her with her photos or stuff with them, and demand her money, and in turn she cause harm to my bro..

    Top to it this girl, as always created issues in marriage, never cooks for him, doesn't care for him, and always threatens him saying she will do suicide.And every time she argues, she stands in balcony n shouts and cries so my brother yields to whatever she says, We cant take chance with this kind of girl.

    Also its my brothers decision, when he is so loyal and bared all her tortures for 3yrs, this things hes not
    ready to accept. He says i cant be always bothered if she commits suicide or cant keep my eyes on her
    always, that she mite cheat (how will man feel when wife calls her lover to his own house and plays around on his own bed)...

    Sorry, no offense to you, It would have worked in story you told, and you might be broad minded n forgive her, BUT forget about my brother, even i dont feel she deserves.. But yes i feel for kid...
     
  8. SaleemaRex

    SaleemaRex Gold IL'ite

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    I think the fault is with the girl's parents but that doesn't excuse this girl's behaviour. Affair is not something which easy to forgive and move on. Any chance your brother can get custody of the child?
     
  9. emerald44

    emerald44 Bronze IL'ite

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    I was going thru the thread n so many questions pop up

    1) horescope would have DOB --how did u miss that
    2)marrying an underage girl is against the law ...
    3)u say the girl was 16 +3.5 -- makes her just a year above an adult (major by the law) and u say they have a 2yr old child, this is again against the law to have a girl below 18 pregnant.

    this is out of curiosity .. u are a well educated s/w pro so is ur better half, your brother too is a qualified professional, how come u settled for a girl who is not even a 10th class pass

    the law can be ruthless to tell that over the yrs your ppl and your bro have changed and prefer an educated better girl ... and want to wash your hands off the girl n her infant
     
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2012
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  10. Padmash

    Padmash Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear you have asked for the opinions we have given the opinion and told our experience.. trust me any newly passed out regd family advocate will win your case. As you have enough evidence and well educated and financially well too.. Telling you that incident was answer to your situation .. what else can happen in such cases. Anyways this is your brother's life, he is going to face everything. So noone can decide what to do and what not.. everything have respective consequences.. I have never suggested you to take her back.. But even if you get success in this divorce there will be numerous loopholes with your brother.. your relatives themselves will bring many issues with your brother... If we see legally you are the strongest side, if we see socially i dont find you at stronger side though.. EMA noone tolerates that is always true. I hope your brother have a smoother life with a dutiful wife..
     
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