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Wife extra marital relation caught - Applying divorce - Need suggestion

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by sumaramesh, Nov 8, 2012.

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  1. sumaramesh

    sumaramesh New IL'ite

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    HI ALL

    My brother married 3.5yrs back, and now has 2yrs old kid..

    She is 13yrs younger than him (They lied she's 19yrs, where in she was 16yrs @ time of marriage,
    also she looks like 20+ @ the time of marriage itself)...

    Al along marriage, she has been creating fights, and demands him for money, and when
    she needs money shes good, for week, and again she is back arguing and fighting with him..

    Everyday early morning when he goes office he has to drop her to her moms place, and she
    would come only evening n cook something, mornings and noon's she wont cook, he has to eat out.
    And when he questions, there is big argument, one time this became big, and his parents
    gave complain on my brother, that he drinks and comes and we demanded dowry and all..

    But when police interrogated couple separately Reshmi(his wife) confirmed he is not regular
    drunkard, and he did this only after big fights, and also she confirmed they have never given any cash or gold @ time of marriage, Police gave his parents nicely, and scolded them, if thy
    repeat this again, giving wrong complaints they will arrest them..(her parents)

    So bottom line, from 3.5yrs its been disturbed marriage..

    After marriage, she stayed 1 month in my parents house, went to her moms for Ashada, and
    demanded to do new house, so my brother did new house and got her back, in spite of this
    she has never been good to him.. After an year, my parents constructed 3 storied building
    and let them stay in 1 floor n gave remaining for rent.. (My parents stay 5kms away in different house).
    So she has no claims against my parents....

    Now a week back, we got to know about her EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIR
    Please read rest of story and suggest...
     
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  2. sumaramesh

    sumaramesh New IL'ite

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    Re: Wife extra marital relation caught - applying divorce - anyone did dna test

    Week back, my brother got Anonymous call that, 'your wife is having affair, and i can prove it '...

    My parents n i suggested, ignore it, some people would do this , just to create issues..This mite not be true..

    Again he got call saying she has affair n that person can confirm, so this time, we decided to get her dialled/received call list.And we got list of 250sms per day n lots of calls dailed/received to common number, so he went home that night and confronted her saying, whose number is this, you have been calling so much, as soon he said number, she got scared and rite away fell on his feet saying shes been cheating on him, both were crying for long time it seems.

    After a while he came out and called us saying she agreed, that she is having affair, We suggested him to try to record it, so he went back home and asked her to accept what all she did, so she agreed that she had affair before marriage in 9th std, and she had slept with that lover in 9th std, and was caught by her relative and thats why they immediately did her marriage when she was 10th std(16yrs)

    And this was before marriage, after marriage she agreed she had affair with her moms neighbour, thats why
    she used to go there daily and she slept with him, when he mom was not @ home..

    After that she also confirmed, that, the guy who is calling my brother now is her moms neighbour guy, as she left him, and is having affair with her family friend...

    Apart from this, i have seen her once chatting smiling with some guy, when i asked she said its her relative. (My brother confirmed looks like hes not relative)

    My parents have caught her many times, chatting with auto drivers and dress shop owners
    (where she buy dress regularly) Many cases seems shes flirting with all...

    Now we have recorded all this when she herself was telling my brother(my brother was successful in getting this info by saying, its ok its all done, for kids sake now i will forgive, but lets tell wht all happened to my parents, so they will forgive and we can start fresh, SO i am guessing she accepted all, though she knows its being recorded..

    And more point here is there are lots of rumours among relatives about her mothers character also, so we now want to get out of this mess and want to apply divorce.. here are my questions..

    1. How easy is this kind of divorce with only Her voice accepting her cheating..

    2. She would get kids custody right ??

    3. Do we have to pay for kid ??


    Now we also once do DNA to confirm if kid is my brothers, any idea how much dna test cost ??? Any idea how many years would this divorce case prolong...

    WE are meeting a lawyer today, but want to know your Inputs too.... How to handle this...

    Currently she is staying in my brothers place, plan is to give complaint then escort her to her parents place.
     
  3. sumaramesh

    sumaramesh New IL'ite

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    78 views and no suggestion...

    Nobody have heard of wife committing adultery case ??
     
  4. Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    I have heard of a lady who got caught committing suicide. Thn the husband was in a huge mess.

    So better to call her parents in the presence of a few witnesses and send her to her mom's place ASAP.

    Then you can contact a lawyer and decide what to do. Or she might plan ahead and claim that your brother recorded her without her knowledge and is blackmailing her / harrasing her.

    Deal with it tactfully with lots of witnesses ASAP.
     
  5. sumaramesh

    sumaramesh New IL'ite

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    She already did this suicide drama today, noon he went home for lunch, saw her
    hanging saree to neck(but not to fan) n sitting n crying...

    My parents have gone 2 police station and today we are planning 2 give complaint
    and send her off to her parents..

    True, they can turn case saying , we pressured her to tell her affair stories, also thy can
    proove its not her voice, anything can hppn, we are trying for more proofs lets c...

    Praying to god, tht my bro gets out of this mess soon...

    Thanks a lot for first Suggestion....
     
  6. Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    Don't talk to her about divorce. Just send her telling that bro needs sometime to digest this.
     
  7. sumaramesh

    sumaramesh New IL'ite

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    HI

    Yeah that is plan, we consulted Lawyer yesterday and fixed him.

    We will send her tom morning to her moms place,(as she regularly goes every week-end)
    And will give complaint, so she will be called along with her parents...

    And later proceed through divorce process..
     
  8. pranatim

    pranatim Platinum IL'ite

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    You said 78 views and no suggestion... its not in that way. Its a sensitive issue and people need to think how to answer. In a hurry one should not write which is going to be a problem later. Let things settle first and you know 13 years age gap is too much she is very much young and this gap makes a lot of difference in todays world. Earlier means you can understand now a days you can never thing I mean this is completely my opinion. Let her stay at your mothers house and so far as DNA test is concerned I dont know about the cost but it takes one week's time i think as they send the blood samples to hydrabad lab. Its a very sensitive issue so just handle it with care because you all are involved in this also be careful. Feeling bad to read all these but sometimes time heals everything and down the lane everything will be fine.
     
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  9. sumaramesh

    sumaramesh New IL'ite

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    Dear Pratim

    Yes 13yrs is almost a generation Gap, my dh is 3.5yrs older thn me..
    When we asked her age and horoscope for marriage, they told they already checked horoscope
    and it is good match, and age they lied she is 19, we thought it would be 8yrs difference...

    And today we saw girl, and tom they all came house (we both had a common DISTANT relative)
    with that distant relative and forced us saying Shunya masam is coming in week, please confirm
    soon so, we can do engagement, i was not in town, my mom dint get much of time to decide,

    My mom always wanted girl from poor family, so she will adjust and go, they are very poor, and she
    is good looking, my brother liked girl, so we taught why delay, unfortunately in our caste we check
    horoscope but not birth certificate, so we cant know if they lied about age..


    Lets see where it ends, many women are misusing laws made in favour them..
     
  10. sumaramesh

    sumaramesh New IL'ite

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    HI

    Update for anyone who had read this Thread, or later who stumbles upon this thread by keywords....


    My Bro has applied Divorce.. And she has agreed she had affairs. She lost her precious life
    in craze of Extra marital affairs...I feel pity for his 2yrs old kid.....
     
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