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Wierd marital Finances'

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Tryinghard2013, May 31, 2015.

  1. Tryinghard2013

    Tryinghard2013 Silver IL'ite

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    Something regarding our financial setup bothers me and I wanted to know if you guys find this absurd. Me and DH have been married for 5 years and have kids. When we had got married, he had no money just an ok job. I was at a managerial level hence earned more than he did. So I had an good bank balance . This was with my mom in both our names. That time my husband found it wierd and wanted us to have joint bank accounts. At that time we were newly married, had lots of fights and could not not blindly trust him so I was reluctant to do that. Plus mom was in a different city so I needed her sign to add my DH to the bank. However the matter though disagreed between the 2 of us got on the back burner. My DH have been paying most of the house bills though we both work and I sometimes pitch in for some bills like 5-10%. My husband in the last 2 years received some inheritance. And I am sure he has not added me a beneficiary into his account. But my question is if I ask him to then it will look like pure greed but I being the mother of his kids have thoughts as to the money in his account belongs to our kids and God forbid something happens to us our kids have rights to it. Am I thinking correctly? I am not earning anything and looking after the kids and him for the past 2 years on his insistence.
     
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Sharing one's primary bank account with parent after marriage is not advisable. It is simply not fair to the spouse. No matter how happy the husband-wife or parent-child relationship is. If it is necessary to have a joint account with parent for some reason, then, maintain that, but parent being privy to married child primary bank account's details, transactions and balance is simply not done.

    Something about your financial setup bothers you, and you are worried about the "God forbid" situation. Channel this worry into something constructive. Get your finances in order, as in get a will and/or trust made. Make it legal and applicable in both countries if you live abroad. Start with your account and take care of children being the beneficiary and appoint a suitable trustee etc.

    Given the murky history of finances, do not dive into getting details of husband's account also. Instead focus on all the other to-do's for the will/trust, and there are so many... The process tends to take a few months when done along with regular life routine stuff. Hopefully, husband will also see the need and importance of making sure children are taken care of in a "God forbid" situation, and go about doing the same with his account too. Once you have done it for yours, the steps will be familiar.

    First though - take care of making your account a solo account if it is still joint with your mother. There are ways of doing it without hurting anybody's feelings, such as opening a new one, and transferring a significant amount from old to that.
     
  3. kanthtx

    kanthtx Gold IL'ite

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    let him add his mom or dad to the account that has his inheritance...

    so that it will be safe and accurate..
     
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