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Why Remove The Thali / Mangal sutra While Going To Work?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by sunkan, May 19, 2008.

  1. karjothi

    karjothi New IL'ite

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    Hi, i agree with you that the ornaments have reasons. Our great great great grannies forgot / ignored to pass the message to the younger generation. Even our elderly people dont know the actual reason.

    1. Metti - nerves connected to uterus. "Ever wondered how our great grannies and grannies gave birth t 9-10 children even and we feel difficult to give birth more than 2 kids". Even nowadays, it is not difficult to give birth. We want to provide everything the child needs. Working mother need to go through stress and it prevents them to give birth to more than two. In Malaysia, even Malay / chinese grannies gave birth to more than 10 kids. It is the food they take in older days and they were not under much pressure compared to working mothers today. Metti does make the uterus stronger. But apart from metti, there are more important thing, which is FOOD to make onself healthy.

    2. Sindoor / bindhi - saves energy released from the middle of forehead. For some readon this energy is important to us. Even men are advised to apply chandanam. Chandanam gives calming effect. Sindoor makes a person stronger (hot tempered). Women need to be strong to bring up the family. By nature women are considered soft. Nowadays, women are more hot tempered than men. Applying sindoor will make them worst.

    3. Thali - the gold in thread in between breast increases sexual pleasure to satisfy the husband. Of course a man dont need a thali. The chilled feeling of the gold in thread increases the need to be with the husband.

    4. Ring - nerves from the heart in connected to the ring finger. Gives constant heart beat.

    Know yourself before applying them. Decide if you really need it these days. If you are soft person, apply sindoor. If you think you need thali, wear it.

    AIf you feel you dont need it, just put things aside and go ahead. Food is most important. You can control your desires with food, control your energy with food, control your heart beat with exercise, have healthy uterus with healthy food.
     
  2. coolphani

    coolphani Bronze IL'ite

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    Re: Why Remove The Thali While Going To Work??

    I have seen this mostly happens when the Guy is working in US and the girl is in India.

    I'd like to comment on this because it was how my engagement went. Me and my DH were 2 time zones apart around the time we decided to get married. We didn't want to go home just to get engaged since we were anyways going in 2 months to get married. My parents had a grand ceremony where they gave out gifts and clothes to everyone and the usual "fixing the muhurtam" ceremony (BTW no photos of us were used). We exchanged diamond rings here in a temple around the same time. We didn't want to take off from work unnecessarily so we decided to carry on with our engagement in this manner. There is no showoff involved. I believe there are other better things to do to show-off. People who can afford to host expensive parties do just to let everyone know their daughter is getting engaged even though their daughter is around or in another continent.The rest carry on with a simple ceremony. There is no harm done to anyone. As far as I know there is no hard and fast rule in the modern age saying such ceremonies should be done with both the groom and bride around. Even the marriages these days are carried out this way.Everyone is free to believe and do whatever they want in this modern age. People do whatever they want to and they are comfortable with, how you receive it is upto you.Making fun of such situations really shows a person's narrow-mindedness. You wouldn't probably understand unless you are in such a situation.

    Having said this much preserving or not preserving a culture is better left to a person and the best we can do is watch instead of shoving our ideas around. We should respect each other's views -which is practicing humanity which is more important than commenting on how other people carry on with their businesses
     
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2010
  3. karjothi

    karjothi New IL'ite

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    Dear Coolphani,

    If you or your DH or both could not attend your own engagement or wedding or do not prefer to attend, then why do you want to have the ceremony at the first place. It is better not to have the function. The engagement / wedding ceremony (according to hindu rituals) is done to get blesses from relatives and friends and elderly people. If you think this blesses are not worth or not interested, you should not have the functions at the first place.

    You can just exchange the ring among yourself / with immediate family members presents on any day. Or no need engagement at all. Just get married and live happily. Engagement is done to inform others that my daughter will be getting married soon with so and so. So that they will not be any other proposal for the girl from other people. If you think this ceremony is not needed, they don have it.

    Marriage functions is to get blessed from the earderly. You can just get registered marriage if not interested in Hindu wedding rituals. First, get to know why the rituals are there. It is not suppose to be held without the presence of bride / groom, whether it is engament or wedding. Or any other functions, the main people must be there to proceed the rituals. Else better not having the funtions. I know few people who get registered marriage (legally married) in US and stay there. Some came back after few years to proceed Hindu rituals but some dont. Either way is fine, but not without the bride or groom.

    Think, is it worth? Maybe worth for money and save your leave and carrier etc. But what about relationship, blesses. Everyone here can accept changes. But depends on the severity. Refer to my previous post, if not interested in rituals, if you think it's not important or you dont know the reason, just exempt it rather doing changes and commenting on preserving culture.
     
  4. vennelaaaa

    vennelaaaa Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Sunkan Ma'm and all others reading it....
    With so many people feeling that removing Thali is against our culture, I'm sure people will judge me, if not scold me...
    I feel its a personal choice...whatever u r comfortable with...I know marriage is sacred and all that....but I believe there are many ways of keeping the sanctity....
    If you are not comfortable, why should we bound by some rules?
     
  5. coolphani

    coolphani Bronze IL'ite

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    I believe India is a free country. I don't have the time or the patience to read through all your previous posts. I have better things to do.I do whatever I feel like as long as it's not aganist the law or harming anyone. Thanks for taking up the responsibility for preserving the so called Indian traditions or whatever. We want to have the rituals and everything without affecting our careers here. Who said elders can't bless you when the groom and bride aren't around? Does any of your book of traditions say that? Please consider this present age and don't talk accordingly. First of all what right do you have to say to anyone not to host a party or get married as they want to?? If you are not comfortable don't attend and just sit at home.I believe no one will force you. I wanted a traditional wedding so I went home to get married. We got engaged here with a couple of friends and relatives in a temple because I wanted to. The priest back home was ok, the priest at the temple we got engaged was ok.Does any book of yours says this is illegal or something?? BTW Does the same book of yours Say Sati, domestic violence, dowry is ok?? If we are both physically present at the engagement does it guarantee a healthy marriage life and all the blessings?? Does it guarantee a life-long commitment?if it does why people physically present a marriage/engagement/whatever end up divorcing.Come on now, people have the right to exercise a tradition if they want to and leave it if they don't want to or tweak it as long as it is not harming anyone.. If you look around most of the traditions are tweaked for convenience so I totally believe it's fine as long as the bride and groom is fine..why should I worry how 2 or 3 day ceremony is tweaked? I should be worried if the bride and groom separate within a couple of days or the bride is kicked out of her DH's house because the dowry wasn't enough.

    People can tweak"gifts for a daughter" tradition to the extent of "life-threatening"lumpsome dowry but don't have the right to get married tweaking the traditions to a very small extent for their convenience?? It's not like they are trying to belittle the traditions or something . BTW did I say we got married/engaged on "ANY" random day??? Not sure what gave you the impression

    First learn to respect humanity and personal space and then talk about preserving culture or whatever. I don't see any difference between your opinions/views and the people who passed " stone to death" judgment against a woman in some country which I read somewhere recently , just because she was a widow and fell in love with another guy. Does your so called same book say a widow should remain a widow her entire life without getting married again??I don't think you have a clue about "Live and let live"

    I have nothing else to say
     
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2010
  6. Nitha J

    Nitha J IL Hall of Fame

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    dear coolphani and karjothi...

    Each of you are entitled to your own opinions and beliefs. That's what makes each of us unique.
    These discussions are meant to "hear the other side" ; and if you like it accept it or let it go. Let's keep the discussions healthy and friendly.No personal attacks on each other's opinion or personal beliefs.
    I am sure that both of you are wise enough to understand and appreciate it.
    Thanks
    Nitha
     
  7. karjothi

    karjothi New IL'ite

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    I dont know how dowry works. Only seen it in movies. While watching movies, yes i'm against it. Not sure on how it is really practiced and whether the movies are revealing the correct information.

    Sati took place few hundred years ago, started when many women are lonely while the DH died in war. This women cant go back to their parents or in-laws. People that day MIGHT feel that killing this women may reduce the trouble they going through. I said MAY. Then, it has become a culture as illiterate people was unable to get the point of it.

    I never ask anyone not to engage into relationship. If not interested in the rituals, just get rid of it rather than making weird changes, that's what i said.

    In Bagavath Geetha, it is stated why marriages and rituals are held at the first place. The book I read about hinduism is Bagavath Geetha. Of course, it never state about dowry and sati. This is not in our ritual. But marriages are.

    Marriage functions are mainly to get blesses. Of course, the bonding between the both is their personal feeling on expectation by the other party. Whether their marriage last or not, solely depends on individual and not blessings. Even without blesses marriages last and vise versa. Maybe other cultures in the place you stay do it that way. I dont know about your culture or how people practice Hinduism in India.

    I am sorry if I am wrong by commenting and not knowing your culture. But I know what is Hinduism and the reason behind it.

    It is fine if you want to have the wedding or engagement as you wish. That's the best. Just think before making the changes. I will never allow my siblings / children to do this. Having their wedding without their presence. I would prefer to postpone the wedding as to the day convenient for them or at a venue (place / city) convenient for them so that I can attend to bless them heartfully.

    Of course, blesses are from heart and not by seeing the person. But without knowing the person the heartiest blesses will not reach the desired destination. Why we pray in the form of statue? So that we recognise to whom we dedicate the message to. Same thing goes to blesses.

    Again, in my previous reply to this post I have explained on why we wear thali, metti, sindhor etc. Please read it if possible.

    This is solely my point of view. I never ask anyone to agree to it. Everyone have their own opinion, own way of doing things. Be yourself but please dont kill the culture by making changes. Even though I am not born in India, Hinduism is a dear culture. I hope you understand.
     
  8. susheelasunil

    susheelasunil New IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I am married from 2 yrs, i am also working, i dont agree for those who say that mangalsutra can be removed on western outfits, i wear mangalsutra on jeans and other western outfits, sometimes i used to put smaller bindi when i wear jeans and also sindoor only sometimes,
    i feel ladies look more beautifull wearing all these bindi sindoor and mangalsutra and also kalungura(finger ring wearing for foot)
    these all are the signs of marriage,
    i have seen so many ladies living abroad not wearing all these..
    according to me wherever u go u should respect ur culture,costoms, traditions and rituals ...
    dont forget ur roots...
    respect ur culture
     
  9. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    There is no disrespect - whether people wear it or remove it.
    If you are more comfortable in wearing it, by all means, go ahead and do so :thumbsup

    People will have their own views.
     

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