Re: Why Remove The Thali While Going To Work?? dear sumathy, sandhya rajgopal is a good friend of mine, and we had a discussion on this when i was with her family in chennai on a visit, her mother in law never objected as she has to wear different chains and necklace most are artificial but then while doing reading and on tv one tends to follow modernisation very fast, so she used to say i cannot follow all those stuff i need different designs every time i read. it is better to live according to ones necessaties and never fear when it breaks or gets lost and all have faith i am sure there is someone high above who knows more about us, than we do..sunkan
Re: Why Remove The Thali While Going To Work?? Isn't, an individual's decision? Someone earlier said, evolution keeps happening. Very true.. We once had sati and all that terrible tradition of shaving off widow's head and no remarriage even though the stupids married a child to a dying old man. She has to spend all her youth and life in misery. Why don't we follow them nowadays?
Re: Why Remove The Thali While Going To Work?? Why we don't follow those because it was disrespecting woman and physically totruring her (human being). Wearing thali doenot fall in the same line of practice.
Re: Why Remove The Thali While Going To Work?? Why do you think wearing Thali is not a torture? A woman has to wear a symbol that she's married, but the guy can be free? Why is the practice so men dominating? If a man and woman are truthful to each other, so such thrid party stuff around? Whether you wear it or not, evil eyes will probe you anyways. Nothing can shield the woman from those dirty eyes. why not think from that angle?
Re: Why Remove The Thali While Going To Work?? true nandu, we must always see from many angles it saves a lot many trouble actually from unwanted prying guys of course they dont stop with that but i may add here if you notice a married guy lands up with a nice paunch once married and i feel this is more to the active sex life, until then somehow he is ok but once married it is not associated with good wife cooking but sex, now who needs a thali when you have a clear cut symbol...sunkan
Re: Why Remove The Thali While Going To Work?? Dear sunkan, I missed it somehow. I would like to share my thoughts too. Actually, teiing a thali wa not in the Hindu culture in olden days. I am not saying this, but the late pandit Sri.Balakrishna Sastrigal had said this, quoting Vedas. Only later it had been incorporated in our culture. So it was not there from the start. Various regions in India have various practises. While it is thali in most of the South states (except Kerala perhaps), it is sindoor in North.They remove their mangal soothra but always wear the maang ka sindoor (kumkum on the forehead). In Kerala, it is not mandatory to wear bindi or sindoor or anything. Even women who have lost their husbands can wear a kumkum and wear flower on their hair (as such they don't wear much flowers on their hair on daily basis). They are not so sentimental. Taking off thali is not going to harm one's husband in any way. Or wearinga thali always is not going to save him, if his destiny is otherwise. Same goes for metti also. My mother could not wear metti as she used to get infection on her toes, father lived for 75 years. Ultimately, it is personal choice. I do not take off everyday, but do remove it when I have to go out by walk in the night. But am not sentimental about this.
Re: Why Remove The Thali While Going To Work?? Dear Sunkan and others I'm a bit sentimental about the thali. In all the tamil films you'd see it's the symbol of marriage. Infact it's got the spiritual and romantic connotations of the union of husband and wife. I take mine off when I have a bath and go to bed but it's not a bother to just tuck it in under my clothes and wear whatever matching and fancy jewellery I want over it. Although some people wear a gold thali chain the custom here has remained in using the yellow thread. Amongst my granny and aunts they wore it all the time even during their bath and to bed. Yes customs change with changing times but we Indians have rich symbolism and love it so much that we adopt even western symbols. Here we place emphasis too on the wedding band and ring - a western custom we adopted but we don't complain about the torture of wearing a ring - we show it off. Of course being South Africa we are wary of wearing too much gold jewellery, but the thali is tucked in. Regards Neesha
Re: Why Remove The Thali While Going To Work?? aaah me tooo...might be It is more of comfort feature these days rather than any sanctity associated to it....i have my friends and relatives who have taken out thali, metti..etc...some dont even put the sindhoor in their maang...but they put a fine gold chain around their neck with a ganesh symbol or a diamond or a pearl pendant....for me to see that looks very nice....however...my personal choice as of now i stil like to put thaali and metti...my husband also appreciated me for that as i am a very modern woman however at the same time...i like to respect my tradition and culture...and thats how i want to carry it forward......for future generation....i beleive in practise before you preach....by the way though it was not a custom or tradition in our families...these days i started putting sindhoor in maang as i read some where that it improves the marital happiness and long life of husband....(might be i am a bit old fashioned or superstitious..) i love the way those small things are observed and followed.... might be i would follow them as long as I can....no forcing from anyone..but only with love and respect towards my culture and tradition
Re: Why Remove The Thali While Going To Work?? Friends, I would like to share some happening which I have witnessed. There was a colleague, she used to take out her thali from the inside and keep the kumkum on it after the Friday pooja. She will also touch it to her eyes then. One day, her husband came to pick her up. He was late by 10 minutes. She made her hubby stand on the threshold and rebuked him in a loud voice, in front of 10 people, including ladies , for being late. She had a baby and later divorced him and married her boy friend.She did not have any respect for her husband then why should she give so much pseudo respect to the thali tied by him? Western people respect the wedding ring, but both the husband and wife wear it, don't they? Here only women are wearing a thali and this is gender bias. All these were relevant when women had respect only if the husband was alive. In today's world, we should strive towards a harmonious relationship.
Re: Why Remove The Thali While Going To Work?? wearing Thali or not is an individual choice.. For me Thali is very precious but more than that treating ur husband with respect n love and sharing everything with him as a friend is more important than wearing thali n showing that iam a good wife... As i wear western wear most of the time i cannot wear thali all the time but i wear small black beads chain and everyone in my family including my MIL, FIL understands n knows that my first priority is my husband in any matter so they don't even bother about wearing a thali or not... Skavi