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Why must we be the greatest cooks!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by vmtaurus, Feb 24, 2010.

  1. vmtaurus

    vmtaurus Bronze IL'ite

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    A thread (Bad Chapathi/Roti Days) got me thinking as to why us married women (at least most of us) are expected to be chefs from day one of marriage!? I personally love to cook and experiment with food, but I hate the pressure of being the 'perfect' DIL/wife, which translates to cooking tasty food ALL the time.

    GAAAAAAAH! It gets me mad. I used to stay for a couple of years with my in-laws and needless to say I was a sad cook then :crazy, as it was my initial years of marriage. How come no one seems to realise that cooking takes practice and perfection comes only with time!!

    JMO. Of course, I'm sure not all of us have been through this..

    Thanks for reading!
     
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  2. lavii

    lavii Gold IL'ite

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    my dh knows i dono cooking before marriage
    and mine was lovemarriage
    so slowly i started learning from coffee to biryani
    trust me my mil was not even touching them atleast for formality sake...she used to say nevermind i know how it could taste..i stopped requesting her anymore ..me dh and fil used to enjoy it though..but my mil makes a point before every relative and friend how poor cook i am and how i use all different stuffs like masala,soya sauce,vinegar etc etc and risk others health eventhough i hardly used to cook may be in 1 month with these integrdients
     
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2010
  3. saipavani123

    saipavani123 Silver IL'ite

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    [JUSTIFY]hmm not only in-laws/DH kids also demand us good food...I remember me keeping faces when mom made something...and literally pestering her to make something good....and praise that grand ma makes good food than you etc etc....she must have felt bad...because after she cooking for me sooo well i still asked her to good something good.... I am sure my kids will do the same to me.. [​IMG] [​IMG] ...Not only we vmtaurus.... anyone who is in the cook's position is excepted to cook good food....even we comment maid when she doesn't cook good food when i was spinster...we even expect hostel's cook to cook eatable (i can't say good) food . we are highlighted because we do it on daily basis and its one of our important chores.

    And regarding tantrums people don't understand the difficulty in becoming v v v good cook untill they do it... [​IMG] .. thats natural .. see me !!! I learnt value of mom's food when i stayed in hostel :tongue (poor mom !!) ...and will learn difficulty in making some thing special tasty everyday untill my kids will ask me to make ...
    [/JUSTIFY]
     
  4. Priya_Mommy

    Priya_Mommy Gold IL'ite

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    vmtaurusGood point to catch!!

    'perfect' DIL/wife, which translates to cooking tasty food ALL the time........No doubt our food taste highlights us in relatives of post marriage. But though we cook 100 items perfectly, if there is a failure, pointing out - why did you fail in 101st item just makes me feel bad!we are not chefs at famous 5-start hotels...afterall we are also people like them!
    Yes taste in cooking comes with experience..........No doubt, prior to marriage women should have a done inital round of cooking, a prerequisite to marriage. Either you should know cooking or you shouldn't have a MIL:hide: Recently I heared from my hubby that I am cooking too fast, that comment was given by my MIL infront of him(not me). Dont how to react, whether to take positively or negatively........because if my MIL should have added "Taste" also to that fast cooking food, I would have thought it as a compliment rather than a comment.
     
  5. vmtaurus

    vmtaurus Bronze IL'ite

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    Lavi - i can sooo relate to you :) That was exactly how it happened with me too!

    Saipavani - You know..i didn't think of it this way..i guess whenever i have kids, they will be the next to start their tantrums :rant! Luckily hubby has never done so far..he has eaten without complaints:bowdown!

    My MIL now 'announces' to her relatives that i can now 'cook' and look after her son! :rotfl
     
  6. Malavika81

    Malavika81 Bronze IL'ite

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    If cooking tasty food everyday is the main criteria for an ideal wife, then men should get married to professional chefs LOL And if you are a working woman like your partner, then cooking responsibilities should be shared 50/50. Put him to work in the kitchen and nitpick on his cooking and give him a taste of his own medicine.
     
  7. saipavani123

    saipavani123 Silver IL'ite

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    [JUSTIFY]
    haha same here....hubby never complains...except he says about salt or spice(as he eats very less spicy food )....I understand his problem there... Kids are the best when comes to tantrums and demands... :) ..exceptions are always there [/JUSTIFY]
     
  8. pandusk

    pandusk Gold IL'ite

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    I am so glad that my DH helps me out while I cook. I taught me how to prepare tea...
     
  9. vmtaurus

    vmtaurus Bronze IL'ite

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    I admit, I hate the idea that an ideal wife means cooking tasty food..in fact I do NOT relate to it. But unfortunately my MIL comes from the school of thought that means exactly that - good wife - provide good food to hubby - in short mother him. Now good food is sooo subjective. I can make a fantastic salad and say that is healthy, nutritious and quick, but she would beg to differ :)

    i'm soo lucky hubby doesn't bug me at all. He hates the kitchen and all related...and since i like it...i love doing it...:thumbsup

    I think that not every one is cut up for it, and it is definitely not the ONLY thing that a good DIL should do. If you ask me, if you like it..do it, else get someone else to do it for you (be it your hubby, maid, whatever)

    I guess I'm coming from a personal experience on this one..I was bombarded from day one of marriage about this. In fact i started getting an aversion to food, cooking and anything related for a while, but thankfully am over it now..!
     
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2010
  10. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    What exactly is tasty food?
    Each tongue has its own set of taste buds... whats tasty to one is not to other even in the same house....

    Also who is a great cook? A mother to whom no one can say anything in front of DIL or a DIL to whom everyone has the right to bash up.. I think its all about freedom of speech & your authority in that house.

    Even if you eat regularly your favourite menu u'll get bored of the food or eatry.... there are 365 days in a year but not that many recepies that a person likes to eat... so you may end up repeating the same dish.

    Also there are certain bad cooking days when even the best chef ends up ruining the main course.
    Am sure even if a Marriot/ Sherton/ TAJ/ Leela chef gets married.... her MIL wont consider her as a greatest cook... you can mostly find praises only outside matrimonial house.
     

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