Why is woman asked to compromise.......scientific reasons to this, if any....

Oh, come on! I don't know about the other moderators on this site, but Preethi is usually always fair, balanced and reasonable. I think we are lucky to have Preethi as a moderator.

 

I do not think the OP is talking about small everyday compromises here. At least that is what I understood from her original post. She was trying to find out if at all there is any scientific reason in asking women to compromise like biological, psychological ones.
Maybe society is assuming that woman is by nature made to endure more than men or something like that.
May be women can endure emotional turmoil more than men but just because she CAN does not mean she NEED to ALWAYS .

And, only if society changes its way of thinking we will see some change in these lines...towards positive side.

 

Enchanted,

Adding some info for infanticide:


Bureau of Justice Statistics Homicide trends in the U.S.: Infanticide

Here are the stats for the US:
<table title="Homicides of Children under Age 5 by Race of Victim" summary="Data table on Homicides of Children under Age 5 by Race of Victim"><caption>Homicides of Children under Age 5 by Race of Victim

</caption> <tbody><tr> <td colspan="2" align="LEFT">
</td> <th scope="col"> White</th> <th scope="col"> Black</th> <th scope="col"> Other</th> <th scope="col"> Total </th></tr></tbody></table>
<table title="Homicides of Children under Age 5 by Race of Victim" summary="Data table on Homicides of Children under Age 5 by Race of Victim"><tbody><tr><td scope="row" align="LEFT">2000</td> <td align="LEFT"> </td> <td align="RIGHT"> 328</td> <td align="RIGHT"> 253</td> <td align="RIGHT"> 12</td> <td align="RIGHT"> 593</td> </tr> <tr> <td scope="row" align="LEFT">2001</td> <td align="LEFT"> </td> <td align="RIGHT"> 354</td> <td align="RIGHT"> 260</td> <td align="RIGHT"> 16</td> <td align="RIGHT"> 630</td> </tr> <tr> <td scope="row" align="LEFT">2002</td> <td align="LEFT"> </td> <td align="RIGHT"> 325</td> <td align="RIGHT"> 238</td> <td align="RIGHT"> 23</td> <td align="RIGHT"> 586</td> </tr> <tr> <td scope="row" align="LEFT">2003</td> <td align="LEFT"> </td> <td align="RIGHT"> 349</td> <td align="RIGHT"> 234</td> <td align="RIGHT"> 15</td> <td align="RIGHT"> 598</td> </tr> <tr> <td scope="row" align="LEFT">2004</td> <td align="LEFT"> </td> <td align="RIGHT"> 336</td> <td align="RIGHT"> 209</td> <td align="RIGHT"> 14</td> <td align="RIGHT"> 559</td> </tr> <tr> <td scope="row" align="LEFT">2005</td> <td align="LEFT"> </td> <td align="RIGHT"> 328</td> <td align="RIGHT"> 218</td> <td align="RIGHT"> 10</td> <td align="RIGHT"> 555</td></tr></tbody></table>
IMO, infanticide should be punishable by death.

 

ASG

I agree with you that Preethi is fair. The times she has moderated my posts, I knew that I deserved it.

 

When it comes to infanticide, especially female infanticide, India and China dominate the statistics in just about every list. And in both countries, it is a huge social problem as well due to lopsided male:female ratio which means at some point in the near future, millions of Indian and Chinese men will have no viable partners.

Yes, there are arsehole parents in the West and children are killed due to abuse or neglect or drug use or whatever by the parents which is technically infanticide.

But I am not sure how citing the US statistics on Infanticide will make the problem in India and China vanish or go away. Female infanticide and selective gender births are a humongous problem in both these countries that will have devastating sociological consequences and I am not sure if taking comfort in the US stats on infanticide is the right way to address this problem.

 

Malavika,

I agree with you. My point is to indicate that crazy people/communities exist all over the world that need to be punished for crimes against others based on age, race, religion, sexual orientation.....
But that does not speak for a nation as a whole.

Enchanted had indicated that infanticide is unique to India and the statistics was just to indicate that it was not unique.


----
Since I am know for my digressions, I would like to add that the leader of the opposition in India is also a woman--forgot her in the earlier list

So the update list of women in top political positions at the national level
president(pratibha patil)
leader of majority party(sonia gandhi),
defense secretary(nirupama rao),
leader of opposition (sushma swaraj)

I am sure there are many more that I do not know of

-------

Another factoid, in the 2009 civil service exams in India (IAS), the top 3 ranks were held by women.

 

Yes there are crazy people all over the world and just about every issue that is present in India or China is present in the West as well. The difference is, some of these issues are very rampant in certain cultures and societies than others and when its widely prevalent, then it is a cultural problem.

When 70% of the married Indian women are victims of physical abuse, it is safe to assume this is not an isolated phenomenon or result of crazy people. It is clearly a social/cultural problem that is widespread in India. Same can be said of female infanticide or infanticide in general.

Just like how US is the poster child for all gun related crimes and violent crimes and it is indeed a cultural problem in the US, there are certain issues that are culture specific to India and are widespread issues.

Few years ago, we have had one or two incidents of 'Honour killings' in the UK perpetrated by the demographic which engages in honour killings. While these incidents may go under Honour killings in UK stats, this is not a rampant or widespread activity in the UK compared to say Pakistan or Iran or Saudi Arabia. And the people who usually do these heinous activities who happen to be UK citizens, are invariably from the countries where this practice is rampant and widespread. That is purely a culture specific problem even if the incidents happened on UK soil and people who engaged in it happen to be UK nationals.

 

Meena,

I think whether an individual compromises also depends on the options available to them.
Or could be that we are more gullible and will fall for almost anything. We buy into things our parents, men, companies, sarrah jessica parker...tell us. The fashion industry knows about it and keeps pushing useless products on us each season.

--
If we look at a national (India) level, we cannot deny the fact that things are getting better for Indian women. This has happened with the improvement of the economy over the past decade. India is a relatively young democracy with a huge population. As the economy improves individual rights will improve. It is definitely a progressive minded society otherwise you would not see successful women at pinnacles in so many spheres.

Education for women in India is highly subsidized by the government. I paid close to $4 per semester on my undergrad degree, thanks to my gender. The cost was 1000 times more for masters in the US. The reason why I bring this up is to make people realize that the Indian government does make efforts to move womens rights in the correct direction.

According to a survey of 240 mid and large domestic and foreign companies in India by international executive research firm, EMA Partners, nearly 11 per cent of the CEOs in Indian companies are women, compared to three percent among U.S. Fortune 500 companies.

I am hoping that all these data points will paint an optimistic picture for you .

 

The society as such must undergo a change. First, arranged marriages doesn't work the way it worked earlier. We need to check only for the social, cultural and the economical wavelength. Secondly, joint-family system will not work either. Both the above factors will lead to emotional, psychological and spiritual transition. Spiritual because we learn to accept others faith and are receptive to the life style changes.

This necessitates the previous generation to secure themselves and the present generation to be more compassionate and empathizing. We must live life more pragmatically.

Third, women must work. They must have financial independence.They must be allowed to move out the moment they graduate.

With this in place, the-woman-compromising-situations will be done with.

I always advocate a blend of the east and west. This will work perfectly well for us. We feel claustrophobic because of a plethora of people barging in and out of our lives in the name of in-laws, irresponsible husbands and so forth. When we are independent and can decide for ourselves without the emotional pressure from the family, I'm sure we are as good as being liberated.

 

I agree with you. I think key is to get educated and financially independent. Do your checks before marriage--arranged or otherwise.

I know of atleast 6 girls personally from orthodox families that left their spouses. That would have been unthinkable a couple of decades ago. However now girls have confidence that they have other options and would rather lead a life of peace than put up with people that abuse in the name of tradition.

However we have to take the first step as opposed to expecting parents, society etc.