Why is woman asked to compromise.......scientific reasons to this, if any....

I think it all depends on an individual... if you're ready and make yourself available for others to tell them to compromise then you do else you know to fight your way out.

Its got lesser to do with education or working status of a woman but her strong will to stick with what she wants (traditional explanation - STUBBORNness).. Even Jhansi ki rani was asked to compromise & change her ways... she chose not to let others ride over her.. come what may.

There are many men in previous and current generation who'd say that they or their family made maximum compromises... so be it... its all about survival of fittest.

According to me the only scientific reason is - indecisiveness

 

Where this topic is going :spin

Why is woman asked to compromise.......scientific reasons to this, if any....

Simple...Women are emotional beings. When someone has any problem, women tend to help and that generosity is mis-utilized by Men. We are all entangled in love and relationships and so sacrifice things for that.

Perfect reasoning ShilpaMa!

 

According to me the only scientific reason is - indecisiveness

I'm adding one more sentence here. Indecisiveness stems out of the age old practice. If we are able to collect ourselves and think for ourselves our lives will be much better.

I advocate the western ideology here. The moment a teen becomes a major, the teen goes out and explores the world. This must become mandatory in Indian households too. The moment you leave the house, the mindset, experiences and decision making capabilities will be much better.

The more we live in a protected environment, we will consider several aspects before we decide for ourselves. The next generation must be taught to be liberal, strong willed and a generation that will know its rights at every stage.

India is still under developed because we never fight for our rights and we have learned to compromise.

 

Meena,

The whole issue is so much 'culture specific' as Malavika rightly said it.

I write here at the risk of my post being edited or even deleted all together just because it does not appeal to our moderators and their own personal ideologies. And that is the TRUTH which has been taking place, lately.

There are so many flaws in our culture be it dowry, gender inequality, parental pressure and many more.

In Ramayana, Seetha had to undergo the test 'agni pariksha' or trial by fire to prove she was unsullied and only then Sri Rama accepted her.
What about agni pariksha for Sri Rama then?? Can we demand a purity test for him??

Yudhishtira bet his wife Draupadi in the game of dice. And we call him Dharmaraja or king of righteousness.

And there are so many such situations clearly depicted in our epics which we can question but we are so blinded by our false sense of pride that we never ever question and if anyone comes about questioning we call that bashing India and Indian culture. These false morals are very well deep rooted in our society since ages and first and foremost we need to acknowledge that we have these evils!

Oh! Come On!! Let us not pretend any more here. Be open to accept the facts as they are. Just because someone points out our dowry system, Parental interference in couple's marital affairs, let us not retort back immediately with drug abuse, teenage pregnancy in the west and start yet another debate of east vs west.
Really, are we gaining anything with all this other than pumping our false ego??

West has its own flaws and we also have our own stupidity. Let us in the first place accept that. Is it so difficult to accept criticism of our false morals just because it comes from a poster who happens to be born in some Western country. Let us not stoop to such low levels?

The whole question here is if at all there is any scientific reasoning behind asking women to compromise. And I think other than pure male ego being fanned by none other than women in the form of mother, there is no logic, or science behind this stupidity.
As some posters have very clearly said, it is all in the upbringing too. Boys are always asked and encouraged by none other than mothers to be aggressive. Do moms know the meaning of being aggressive??

One poster says the greatest boon that women have is patience.
Really??? .......Then what greatest boon did men get?
What we have been seeing all through history is the greatest boon that a man got was to test woman's patience to any extent possible....
How foolish can we be? Don't pretend any more!

Atleast, in our generation we should wake up to reality instead of blaming the people who bring it up saying they are bashing India and Indian society. You know what?
I think our double standards, false values in the name of culture, customs, tradition need to be bashed, thrashed and whipped, top to bottom, left to right.....YES!!

Our society is a bunch of people, with all double standards.....I say!!

Folks! At least in this century let us realize our mistakes and make sure these do not get repeated in our childrens' lives. We can make way for a better tomorrow, only if we are open minded to accepting today's mistakes.

FYI...I was born and raised in India and I love Indian society minus all its flaws.:thumbsup


Sridivya

 

my take on this would be...

Its about the nature and behaviour of the person...If you see any couple, woman appears more submissive and wants to accomodate n adjust as per the husbands nature..reason thats what she has been seeing since childhood i.e her mother adjusting, compromising, struggling etc, so woman tend to think its nothing abnormal to SAY NO to this so called compromise or adjustment and MEN also think that its their birth right not to adjust as that department of adjustment and compromising is only for woman of the house.

This issue is more related to upbringing (than culture or country specific)..Not all men expect this kind of submissive behaviour from woman but such men are less in %.

 

SriDivya,

I really think, women compromising is a world-wide issue and not specific to Indian culture. It could be just due to how economies and societies developed. White collar jobs were not commonly available anywhere until industrialization. Due to this women took care of the home, young and old.
Even after white collar jobs became available the re-distribution of home responsibilities has happened slowly.

I am basing this on the # of women that I have worked with from different ethnicities. All of them cook, clean, complain that their spouses do not do enough around the house. Some of them have issues with the sibilings of their spouses, their in-laws...they could be south american, african, middle eastern, american...There was a point I too thought that this was unique to us and I was surprised. Nope, we are not unique in being unfair to women .

As far as dowry goes, it has more to do with failed agrarian policies of the british in india as opposed to anything native--a resource on the topic would be "Dowry Murder: The Imperial Origins of a Cultural Crime" published by Oxford University Press.

I strongly believe that social ills have to be remedied the world over, we should not trivialize it by attributing it to a culture. Unstable individuals exist in all cultures.

I would like to quote something related from a blog by a famous blogger on the topic, to throw more light

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An interesting example is the fact that prevalent spousal killing for insurance money in the United States is not dissimilar with spousal killing for “dowry” in India. The former is not tracked or studied as a crime attributed to “culture” in the US while the latter is studied solely in that category in India. Similarly, “abortion” is treated in liberal discourse in the US as a matter of “a woman's right to choose”, while in Indian liberal discourse it is labeled as “foeticide”, to emphasize its relation to murder, and studied as a culture-attributed crime. Similarly, marriages under 18 are studied as the phenomenon of “child marriage” in India and labeled as “evil” in scholarly writing. A similar phenomenon is studied as “teenage marriage” in the US. Interestingly, even in the case of “child marriage” in India, the consummation of the marriage almost invariably happens post-puberty in India so the phenomena are not dissimilar. Interestingly, states such as Massachusetts have a legal age of marriage as low as 12, and nearly 15% of marriages in the US took place in the 15-17 age group (1970 figures).

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Beeamma, Please tell me one thing. I fail to understand this.

Why do we always have to jump into comparing ourselves with the west or any other cultures and just cannot accept the deficiencies in our system as they are and work on correcting them??

Why can't we just say that demanding the wife to always compromise and taking that as a weakness by husbands and worst of all parental interference in couple's life are all evils of our society?

And then work on our flaws and make sure they do not repeat in future generations. At least let us do our part regd our children.
If each of us do our part that will be a lot to improve the society as a whole.

Instead what we are doing today is telling....OH!No! Do not worry, we are not alone with these evils, there are other continents with us. So, lets not blame our culture.
Don't you agree in the name of culture what horrible crimes happen in our society?
Can we justify those by citing few similar examples from other cultures?

 

Spot-on Sri. We are hypocrites. We don't talk about sex openly but we are the most populous nation. We are a bunch of hypocrites and spineless society that we can never fight for our rights. As individuals we prefer talking behind than upfront.

 

Why do we compare ourself with the west?
That is because it is implied that the west is better than the rest as opposed to accepting that each system has its flaws and flawed individuals.

My perspective is that all over the world you have disturbed and sadistic individuals that will use any excuse to be nasty to others. You have suboptimal spouses, parents, in-laws etc... This is not specific to a culture, by attributing it to a culture we end up misdirecting and trivializing the issue.