1. U.S. Elementary Education : What Parents Need to Know
    Dismiss Notice

Why Is it so hard to make indian friends here?

Discussion in 'General Discussions - USA & Canada' started by OCdesigirl, Apr 25, 2012.

  1. Pranjjal

    Pranjjal Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    489
    Likes Received:
    479
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Syamalajh,
    What I was trying to tell OP that here in California I hv seen majority are South Indians but I am from different Indian community. I will like to hv South Indian friends also but when is It possible when we can communicate with each other but for that we need to understand each others lang if we can't, at least we need to speak common lang at least English. I didn't say all South Indians can't speak Hindi or English. Many can. But if I didn't find such people for friendship naturally I will search for my own community friends. I hv born and brought up in cosmopolitan city where I had different community friends but we were able to make friendship because our medium of communication was either Hindi or English.
     
  2. Nandshyam

    Nandshyam IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    5,431
    Likes Received:
    2,180
    Trophy Points:
    340
    Gender:
    Female
    Good for you coz as you see here in the married life forums, there are N number of threads even if its the same community, arranged marriage :p

    That's why I think its best to do what works for you and stop judging as to why others are not doing what I THINK IS RIGHT. you say we should be open enough now so its better for the next generation. Again that's a generic statement. Are you OK if your kid falls in love with a russian or an african. Well I am not.. LOL.. I have no idea what their culture is. Though I hang out regularly with my african american friends and go out to some ethopian restaurants, it stops there. I am afraid, may be my kid won't be and they will help me understand when that situation comes I think. For now, I hope and pray to have an Indian daughter in law or son in law ;-) Am I narrow minded, so be it ;-)
     
    1 person likes this.
  3. Pranjjal

    Pranjjal Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    489
    Likes Received:
    479
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Nandshyam,

    That 41% data is no of speakers as 1st lang Dear. In addition to that Marathi,Gujarati,Urdu,Bengali,Punjabi,Sindhi etc etc no of speakers also can speak Hindi dear as a 2nd lang. So more than 60% Indians can speak Hindi.
     
  4. Nandshyam

    Nandshyam IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    5,431
    Likes Received:
    2,180
    Trophy Points:
    340
    Gender:
    Female
    There you go again !!

    Why did you leave us south Indians ;-)

    How did you know for sure that Keralities or Tamilians or kanadigaas or telugus or Tulus or whoever you have left out there WONT speak Hindi? It could be 60 or 70 or 80% we never know. All we know is who has OFFICIALLY stated that they speak hindi, yeah?

    I seriously hope atleast now you get my point. Hindi is just a language. There is no mandate that every Indian SHOULD know it.

    PS: I know hindi and some Telugu and Malayalam as well ;-)
     
    5 people like this.
  5. Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,484
    Likes Received:
    4,119
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    It is not mandatory for people to know Hindi.
    It is not even considered a national language anyway.
    So, can we move on?
     
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2012
    1 person likes this.
  6. shyamalajh

    shyamalajh Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    217
    Likes Received:
    329
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Pranjjal,

    If they don't know English, how do you expect them to communicate with you? Of course they will be among themselves like say, Spanish people. They may be new arrivals and will learn in future. Just let them be, why get annoyed or complain? I can't complain that spanish people should learn some Indian language or English, so I can make friends with them.
    Op's point that some people deliberately exclude other communities based solely on that difference is valid, if that is so. OP is not talking about language inadequacies or preferences. Those are understandable. She is particularly discussing those who are perfectly able to communicate but choose not to, based solely on community differences. When you isolate one community(s.indians) and comment negatively, it can get easily misinterpreted.
     
    1 person likes this.
  7. OCdesigirl

    OCdesigirl Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    681
    Likes Received:
    393
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    Than god getting married was easier than making friends, or I would have been single forever.
     
    2 people like this.
  8. Pranjjal

    Pranjjal Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    489
    Likes Received:
    479
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Shyamaljh,

    To tell OP My conclusion is that there are many reasons why people search for their own community people and nothing is wrong in that. In among many problems one is language also. My point is not that All South Indians can not speak Hindi or English I know they can but not each and everyone also. And yes as u said yes it got misinterpreted Neither I am complaining nor I am isolating( S I ) I mentioned them because the majority here and I don't mention anyone else because they feel comfortable to speak in Hindi so I never had a problem of communication with them. You will also agree that SI's feel more comfortable when they speak in their mother tongue again I don't hv problem but I want to say if suppose I am talking with one SI in English 4,5 SI's more gather together one by one and I was there was talking with one of them they will start to speak in their own mother tongue they won't care whether I can understand it or not. Then I need to say Bye Bye. And this happens when I go to my son's school. So eventually what I will do is Search for my own community people that's it I hv given enough of explanation now I am off to this topic.
     
    1 person likes this.
  9. indianinbayarea

    indianinbayarea New IL'ite

    Messages:
    223
    Likes Received:
    76
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    It happens a lot. You are talking to person A in English. Then B, C,D come along. If A,B,C,D's mother tongue is common which is XYZ. They all talk in XYZ and you are left out of the conversation. I think what you are trying to say is Why can't they all talk in English?

    Well the answer according to me is:-

    1. Maybe they are more comfortable talking in XYZ language rather than English.
    2. Maybe they don't care if you stick around or leave.
    3. Maybe they are just rude or they don't have any people skills or don't know how to behave

    So definately it will be hard to make friends with people like this when they just ignore you. Anyway I think this has been going for too long.

    I request the OP to ask the moderator close this thread !!
     
    1 person likes this.
  10. shyamalajh

    shyamalajh Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    217
    Likes Received:
    329
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Pranjjal,

    Thanks for explaining. Now I get it, I think. Though you wanted to make friends from other communities, but couldn't like for eg, many SI in your nieghoborhood can't speak hindi or english, the 2 languages u communicate in, so u had
    to seek your own community people. I appreciate your patience in explainng.
     
    1 person likes this.

Share This Page