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Why I Have Inferiority Complex

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by iyerviji, Jan 21, 2021.

  1. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Education - Why I have inferiority complex

    I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, I know many are not born . Since we were not well off during my childhood I had the inferiority complex and never used to talk much. Get scared to talk , feel odd when among rich people. Since I studied in a Convent School , thanks to the aunty who got admission in the same school as in between when I was in 3rd standard my uncle lost his hotel with whom we were staying and we shifted to a different place and my father had to work in a canteen as acook making sweets, he was expert in making Jilebi. One year we were at home, our neighbour aunty put us in school again . In School there was no problem because everyone wore school dress , but on Saturdays we had to wear any dress and I used to feel I did not have much clothes to wear. Those days dresses were bought only for Diwali.

    While studying I never used to learn the meaning of the subjects but I was good in byhearting so used to write the same whatever in the book. I was good in Maths so no byhearting and you cant byheart also. Being a Leo I had Leo qualities in me and want to be always the best and on the Top. In Hindi while writing essays I used to refer other books and write essays and my Hindi teacher was very satisfied with me and use dto tell me after Xth you go to College u will get scholarship. But I could not go to college because in our days parents used to feel for girls studying upto Xth is more than enough and then they want to get them married. I got a job as a Teacher , since I was very shy and had no patience of preparing notes etc I did not like the job though my students were very fond of me. I told my father I dont want to work as a Teacher. The Supervisor used to come to see how we teach but somehow I used to give something to write to the children so that Supervisor wont be able to see. Actually being very shy and nervous Teaching job was not good for me but after I left I used to give tuitions to my friend's relatives. When I had gone for her son's marriage by that time her niece and nephews whom I used to teach had grown up and had their own children and her nephew introduced to his son and told him this aunty only taught me and whatever I am teaching is taught by her. I felt so nice hearing this.

    Through my brother I got a job as a Typist which I had learnt after Xth. In the first job I had to sit in front of the boss because there were very few people and on eroom only. I used to feel very nervous and any problems I used to ask my colleaugue. Then we shifted to Mumbai and in two days I got another job because of the recommendation of the boss in Hyderabad were I worked. First I joined as a Typist, then with the recommendation of my bosses was promoted as Steno and then as Senior Assistant. When others became officers I used to feel if I was aGraduate I would have got Officer post.
     
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  2. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    I think we should count our small blessings. It is always helpful to look at the children of lesser gods. In my it was your positive attitude in life that helped you in going forward in spite of all hurdles.
     
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  3. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks for your lovely feedback
     
  4. confused4sure

    confused4sure Silver IL'ite

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    I like how you have plainly written the complex feelings that you went through. Many of us have many things that make us feel inferior, leading to lower self-confidence. In-spite of this, the human-will keeps us going. I hope you look at the all things that you were able to accomplish, in-spite of not going to college. it shows you have more courage than you realize. Moving to a new place like bby, adjusting to new culture, new language... managing to work in a patriarchal society, overcoming the small inequalities that makes want to quit... AND managing to have a beautiful family. These are no small tasks...

    My mom went to school only till 8th std, and had to drop out, since her parents wanted her to stay at home and help taking care of the younger sibilings. But she is one of the smartest woman I know, very strategic in thinking, organized beyond imagination, hardworking etc... I always tell her, if she had my education, she would be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. she always tells me, If only I had gone to college... I tried to enroll her in college online now :) but she is not interested anymore...
     
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  5. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks for your lovely feedback and appreciation
    Glad to know about your mother
     
  6. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:@iyerviji
    I love this simple sweet unambiguous straight from heart jotting of sister who too like me made it in life from humble beginnings.

    I reflect upon today’s school uniform vs then no uniforms. In the prestigious centenary old Hindu high school Chennai during 1950s there was no uniform prescribed for students.
    • But many of my Iyengar teachers were, like uniform - wearing divided white dhotis and full sleeves white shirt. They used to sport the bright religious emblem on their forehead, have tuft of hair nicely tied by a satin chord or ribbon and ear studs.
    • Many including me students belong to lower middle class had no footwear. Yes we look forward to Deepavali month for new pair of dress. There was only cotton dress in dull colours.


    I never thought I would study in college at all. I got average marks (321/600) which was not adequate to get admission in any nearby popular college.

    • But known for her perseverance, my mom took me to the chamber of a principal of Muslim college and with tears in her eyes, requested for my admission into pre university. The principal, had one glance at my marks (below state average 66%) -
    • prof. Abdul Wahab Bhukari told one positive statement that I was amazed with - “madam - here at this college, we only try to make donkeys into horses”.
    • Then looking at me he said, “ my dear son, you can do well if you work hard and sincere. Mane your parents andthis college proud. Wish you good luck”.
    • With these endearing words of “ encouragement ” there was no looking back. Inferiority complex - none because majority of students admitted in this college studied in Tamil medium in school.

    To supplement family income, I had to impart tuition to earn as I was learning student. I also learned to empathise with poor students from whom I did not receive fees but their parents made it by kindness. The shyness never I felt at any stage of adolescence thanks to mom she groomed me outgoing from my early days. I was employed in a tutorial (1964-65) and in another coaching centre in (1968-69). The coaching centre head was trying to pay my salary in piecemeal though he charged hefty fees to foreign students. I told him am not like to continue and stopped attending the very next day. He made me feel big because he sent one page legal notice claiming damages around ₹5000. That was the only time I saw my mother got frightened.


    But such proximities then, would have progressively resulted in more and more maturity in terms of acquiring business skill, learning nitty gritty of business with customers.

    At school level, my desire and goal was to work in a bank as I felt then more money is available only with bank. I learnt typing short hand during summer that followed my appearing for SSLC and the desire was to work as a steno.
    For more of it kindly click the link:

    Pit-man & I In A Date

    God bless In abundance the the indigent & those impoverished.
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2021

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