Why have relations become a casual affair?

Dear palak,
it is hurting when we do not get our regards reciprocated.
But some have said, the world is busy these days. In old days, we did not have he tv, net, so many books etc. to keep us occupied. We had much time then. But now we are always doing something, we have to allot time for even reading and hobby. Otherwise we will never get free time.
And I would say, I grew up in a closed colony where we could just walk into any house, any time, have food etc. and spent time with them. But today, even I would find it difficult if some one drops with out announcing, I may have planned some work and would not be able to finish it. My hubby works in shift and he will be sleeping or resting. And what to say about the evenings when my son had to study, he just loses concentration if there is a phone call. I have to finish all personal work within the day time and be with him in the evenings fully.
Please so do not fret. They will realise how nice a person you are in the long run. If not, why bother? You could not change your habis for others, could you?
You definitely will get a good friend soon.
And Latha, naek means good. Naeki would mean goodness. You must have heard of 'naek insane' meaning good human.

 

Hi palak,
That was a good discussion you started....i too noticed this when i was with my sister in Gurgaon, this year....neighbors would drop in at 6 in the morning and ask her to do a drawing fo rher sos science projest or so, without bothering that my sister also has to get her 2 sons ready ....and she refused to move ,...and of course she too time and did it. But later apparently this lady did not even bather to acknowledge her on the lift or so, which i too felt was very selfish attitude...of course my demure younger sister was also upset and hurt. I cant say about people here,....because asa rule the germans whetehr they know their neighor or not, they wish at any time of the day , in the lift, on the pathway etc. And even when we wait in the doctor's room, anyone walking in will wish and while moving out we have to say bye, and have a good day etc....and we all reciprocate. It really gives a good feeling that we are acknowldging everyone a fellow huan beings, whether they strangers or acquaintances. This was one good thing i feel we need in india, to respect every one....but this has to be inculcated in schools, and everyone should be taught to value human relations!
Thanks for voicing this , since i could also share, my thoughts.

 

To smile is easy!

Dear Palak,

I agree with Sudha. You did start a good discussion. I am glad that now you feel somewhat better as you are not alone in your thoughts. Like the others have said, you do your bit and keep on going. One is not allowed to expect anything in return. I find that a little hard to practice though. A smile costs nothing and is effortless. It has been medically proved that one uses lesser muscles to smile than frown!
Like Sudha, I too lived in Germany and it is true what she says, everyone greets each other even if passing by and your eyes happen to meet. Well, it may not mean anything, but it does give a momentary good feel. Embarassingly, I carried this habit with me and I am sure people must have thought I was strange because a total stranger is greeting them!
Anyways, take heart. I am sure you will find some good and deserving friends. Better to have one or two of them instead of a roomfull of shallow friends.

L, Kamla

 

Thank you

Dear Cheer,

Thank you for clearing my doubt. That must be a colloquial word then.
Latha

 

neighbours..

Dear Varloo,

As you had written that the neighbours will know in the long run that you are very gullible and will help them in all their problems and that they can disturb you whenever they like.
Like for eg, they come at 9 pm in the night for a spoonful of curd, which our elders say that we should not give anyone after dusk. Like when they come and ask you for a gas cylinder for an exchange in the night around 10pm after you put out all the lights.
But when you need something even in the afternoons, they'll have some excuse to offer. This I can adjust , no problem but the back biting, I just hate it from them. If you are friends with someone , you have to be straight forward and direct with them. Friendship is not for one, just to get ones things done. That's what many are taking friendship for.
Only after joining IL I have so many friends with whom I can open out and tell what I feel like. I feel at home here, as if I am getting addicted.
Latha :wave

 

HI LADIES
Relationships have become very casual not only with friends but with your kith and kin. children who stay in usa wants their parents to help them with baby sitting and other jobs and take them for granted.lot of moneywith zero
tolerence is the cause of this problem.
withregards
subbi