Why Girl Career Is Always Secondary?

It is not about equal or not in my view.
There are social conditionings and discrimination on various levels and for different things. Each individual should be strong and try that same thing not going to happen for next generation at least by directing both our boys and girls.

 

@OP, now that you understood and realized the mindset of the people around you, be it family, relatives or friends ..you have to make a conscious decision to not pay any heed to those remarks and handle things tactfully. The sad part is parents who acknowledge their daughter's career will at the same time undermine the daughter-in-law's too ! some parents also have high expectations from sons especially as it is more of a survival instinct too where they expect more support from sons in old age and are hesitant to get involved with son-in-law's side.. Times are changing ..slowly but surely.. but women will continue to face many such battles and also win them one at a time.

Also it is not about man or woman but everyone must have the right to pursue their goals the way they want to. Even men are shamed for not working or earning less than their wife sometimes.. If women choose to not work outside of the home that decision also should be respected and comparing with working women is also not acceptable.

Our society lacks the compassion overall regardless of gender, age, family situation. When at-least current generation parents model compassionate behavior and not get subdued by the adversity they face( at home or outside) , they can teach their kids to treat everyone with respect and accept them as they are .. the next generation kids hopefully will then have a better outlook and do not become insensitive to others situation.

For now, what you can do is to not get disturbed by the thoughts that your career is not recognized and just support your brother in his efforts. Ensure that your children are not imbibing any negativity regarding what your parents or husband feel about women's career. They may change their outlook or not in future any they just risk of remaining outdated and it is their loss only...

 

Honestly, I feel , women are so naive, they get married expecting equality, and then they get a rude shock. It is better for career-wise successful women and financially independent women to really wait it out and find the right partner to marry , who understands and respects her and her career.

Nowadays in arranged marriage, or even in love marriage, in India, people get married without truly knowing each other.Many men talk in very liberal way in the beginning, and the woman thinks he is ideal.But later after marriage, even these men get influenced by their parents' patriarchal views about gender roles. It happens in such subtle ways that both of them don't realise.

eg. when the man only wants food cooked by wife, and cannot even accept home cook cooked by cook in their house.
automatically putting children's responsibility on her while verbally supporting her career.
being supportive of her career, but keeping quiet and giving silent treatment, when his mother discourages his wife's career.

So it is better for women to carefully choose the right life partner, than marry someone in a hurry and then question . Not that it is wrong to question, just saying things will happen faster .
But still, in most arranged marriages, the girl's parents are first looking at groom's salary as a filtering criteria, than his nature and attitude(equal, liberal).

 

Our society is structured around the concept that woman is the carer and man is the breadwinner. These are their primary role, the rest are secondary. This is not a fair system for either a man or a woman. For women, their career is always considered secondary. For men, there is a pressure to be employed irrespective of whether they like their job and the pressure to support their family. We need a cultural shift for this to change because in a family with children, there is a need to bring up children, which requires a lot of work, two career oriented parents may not be able to fulfil this need especially if one or both their job require traveling and working long hours.
Change should include, women being open to marry a non career focused guy like stay at home dads and men being open to taking on more caring responsibility. We can’t expect the system to change without changing our own expectations!