Why Fighting Are Come! When Love Is There!

Hi

I don't know where to start.. I'm doing my house work in my home. I made some different variety of food.. But I didn't get any comments.
I'm always ask how this is? Is salt is enough or karam OK like that.. They said yeah! Okay...
I stopped expectation when I got my kid.
Becoz, I understood my environment people in house. How they are expressing and commenting in every things.

My family life is going good. We manage lovely way with joint family. Fights and arguments are come and gone in our family. That's not problem.. Problems are making us understanding. Also it helps us how to help each others.

Now, he got transfer so, we are in nuclear family. Now I'm missing my joint family system. Really it helps us lot whatever problems there.... It's makes us happy together. I miss them so much!

But between me and husband...Going in good way. But now a days we are fighting... I don't know why he is talking like the way. He gives me loads of advice.. Still I don't know why I'm in the mess. I'm doing whatever he wants. Do it without late or messy things.

He always point out I'm not make the house clean way like her mother...
Also in cooking, sometimes my mom make this one nicely. He points out... My mom take care of me very well.. Like that...

I'm also tell, my mom also take care of me well.. But here I'm not feel each other.

Today we starts our morning happily.. We chats lovely way.. I don't what fault he finds out me in my talking! He said, I don't need food.. Finally I packed and give them in pleasant way. Then msg sorry.

Still I don't know why? What we talk morning again and again I think.. I didn't get any clue.
My friend suggests, now only u starts together life in alone. So, it's only starting stage to understand each other.

Actually, we don't have time to talk alone in our joint family. We talk in night. Now we only alone in home. We doesn't talk.. He always in mobile, movies and play with kid.
I'm also like that when he's in home... Soonly finish my work together watch movies and play with kids together.

Now a days, Im think I feel stressed out and sometimes I yelled my kid unnecessarily. It makes me pain more and more stress. I don't how to handle the things.

Problems are,

He finding out small faults like why Unwashable vessels in sink... When in lunch or dinner time, one by one put the plates and tumblers in sink.. He starts y u don't care of small things like that.
I tell after finish of our food, I will wash. He said, do it immediately.
Why you have loads of vessels.. My mom take care of kitchen neatly.
He mentioned every time his mom.
I'm also say, yeah you're right I'm not your mom. Ur wife. This is my way to clean and handle the kitchen. Actually I want to go with my mil.

Me and my mil is understandable. I frankly tell all the things. She suggests some good ideas. This type of understanding takes 2 years. Then only me and mil talk together frankly. Shared her married life ups and down. She's actually helpful in every thing after our understanding.
Now, I said to mil, we always said my mom does like this... She simply says, fil also said like that... You remember I think.. She consoles me that way.
S, my fil always commenting whenever my mil make some special foods. Fil always commenting his mom. My mom did tasty not like this...

Next, Trash things... Starting he disposes the trash... Now, Im doing that it's not big problem to us. But he starts commenting.. You didn't put the bin cover properly... Then I think now.. Why I start this work.. He helps to me.

If I tell, k u do that trash out work means it's finally ended up fight. He says, I didn't told do that work. You only start yourself doing like that going on..
I don't want messy about small things.
Finally its end up sorry... I will do it properly I said... Finish that fight.

Next, when he suffered ill, I taken care of him. Whatever he wants I did. But it's ends up my mom takes care of me well.
Like that.
I'm say sorry and do the work..
If I'm ill... I didn't receive any help.. I have to make my warm water myself.
But he takes care of me very well monthly rest 3days.he manage all the activities in home.

And one more thing.. Now a days he's telling I'm becoming lazy becoz of you. I don't understand why he's is commenting... Im doing my work and he doing his work for the day... Where lazy thing will come. I don't know what he pointing... Im really don't want to ask and end up sorry! Sorry!! Like that without faults.

Actually we loving each other. I don't know why these small issues are coming up. Why he suddenly caught angry and talk some hard words to me. I'm crying and asking sorry without faults I did.
Its make me stress!

Guide me how to manage these things and come out from stress.

 

And One more thing.. If we go out together, he points out there's lot of expenses... Unnecessarily you spend the things...
Finally I didn't go out when need to buy groceries items. I list out the things and he bought... He also some extra items but I didn't ask anything. Finally he bought budget out... I didn't ask anything for this.
Becoz he also buy, what I like to eat and small gifts are included in that thing... If I ask anything it ends up sorry from me.

Sometimes, I have to go buy because of his work schedule. On that time I carefully make my list and pick it up... I'm really worrying my father does not ask anything.. How I spend my things freely and also I didn't bought unnecessary thing in my father my money also.

How life is different after marriage?

Sometimes I think my mother also suffered these types of problems in her marriage life.. I thought bit I didn't ask her becoz she asks me lot of questions that's y!

 

Hi

Good suggestion. But it doesn't workout. Becoz he always make his house neatly. Even though I'm not here. He does these activity. He knows how to maintain house without wife or his mom. So, I'm always gives credit to my mil. If we're not in home. We don't need to neat when my hubby in home.

Im really want get out of his hard words. It makes me angry and stress. I didn't show my angry words. Becoz it hurts and days are spoiled. So, I don't want to argue or sound talk with him.

And one more thing if I say like this reason. My mil also comment me frankly you don't able to manage without us. Like that, she starts to tell others becoz it's joint family right! My husband also specify his mom.. I'm coming there to learn the things. Why I need to make unnecessary talks like that!

 

Hi Amulet,

Yes! I need but not to in-laws or my mother house. My family holiday needs it...

 

Hi, Thank you...kashmir flower, you r right. First I have to stop tell sorry!
Then I see the things how it's going on...
They spending kids with rhymes and sometimes cycle riding...