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Why do Men Post Unattractive Photos of themselves

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by ChennaiExpress, Jan 27, 2015.

  1. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    I am trying to understand how men's brains works when they post photographs of themselves

    #1

    When my ex responded to matrimonial ad several years ago, he showed photos where he was plain looking. When I became his FB friend, I saw he had photos of himself where he is more photogenic ..... why didn't he share these photogenic photos of himself when doing matrimonial correspondence. At the time, I thought he wasn't too intelligent, hence he got away with doing lot of red-flag things for which I am recovering from.

    #2

    There was a lost match, who I was (and still am) interested in (you can see previous posts). Even though his photos were downright awful, I still liked him for some reason (perhaps because he shows raw emotion) and I gravitated towards him.

    After I flushed my ex down the toilet, I saw the lost match's FB account, and showed he has 4 or 5 really attractive photos where he is with friends and smiling and laughing FROM HIS HEART, because when you smile from the inside, it makes your eyes shine. Then he disabled his FB account and I found his Instagram account, but all the photos he put of himself (especially his selfies), does him no justice. And in a lot of later photos, he pretends to look happy, but he seems sad and depressed.

    But why not put nicer looking photos of yourself on social media, why put less than perfect photos? And this guy also has a matrimonial ad with an old photo that does him no justice.

    ______________________________


    Is this a male thing, to put less-attractive photos of yourself. Or am I only looking at two people? Because people I am around, even in office, whether young or old always put their most attractive photos on their FB, etc, etc. Hec, one lady even gets help from Photoshop Fairy!

    Or is this something cultural?

    Really, I am trying to understand the psychology of other people. I don't want to discount something as oh, he's just quirky, when there may be a deeper reason.

    I tend to see things at face-value, but now I want to understand things more.


    Any insight into this? Or is it just a coincidence and I am over-analyzing again.

    Thanks for your time (and patience)
     
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  2. Radhai

    Radhai Platinum IL'ite

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    selfies look great to the takers but gross to the lookers. just like those skinny mirrors in some trial/fitting rooms that trick one into buying more apparels.
     
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  3. Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    1. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
    2. When we have too much free time, we will analyze and over analyze.
     
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  4. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    I never thought of it that way .... it makes lot of sense

    That's why I now ask people to take photos of me cuz if I take selfies, I looked like some stoned chick .....
     
  5. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes dear!!! Gonna shovel some show now ....
     
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  6. nemesis

    nemesis Platinum IL'ite

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    @Ragini25 does have the knack for delivering googlies.
     
  7. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    ^ This. If you could ask those men, I'm sure they'd be appalled that you think they deliberately uploaded unflattering pictures of themselves. What you find flattering might not be their idea of a good picture. For instance, my husband's favorite photos of me are always ones that I hate and wish I could delete!

    Don't indulge the temptation to read more into an online matrimonial profile than is apparent at first glance. You will set yourself up for disappointment. Neither raw emotion, nor genuine happiness can be deduced from a static two-dimensional snapshot. There is no substitute to meeting and spending time with people in order to truly get to know them.
     
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  8. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    I guess it is better to post realistic pictures in matrimonial s,to prevent disappointments later on.
     
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  9. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    @chennaiexpress now start a new hobby dear. your over analyzing makes me dizzy..what all points you ponder!!!

    that said don't you know, the best looking photos sometimes are photoshopped.

    it is better being realistic as ym says, and maybe those pictures are what the friends and well wishers thought were good enough to be placed on matrimonial sites..
     
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  10. sacredbell

    sacredbell Silver IL'ite

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    It could be a trap.

    First of all, a person with such attitude might be an introvert and has inferiority complex. Even after seeing that less attractive picture, you may approach him due to other reasons like caste, qualification etc. At that moment, Chances are high that you get impressed by the better look ( compare to the photo ) and do not dig deep into other aspects of his life.. You realize the trap only after the marriage and it was too late by then...

    Beauty is relative, i think.,,.and it varies from person to person....

    Even women reluctant to post their pictures. Lack of confidence is the main reason.
     
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