Why do husbands cheat and why do wives forgive?

May be she is scared of divorcee stamp and scared of society, or may be compromising with life for her kids future.

 

You have got it all wrong in the hurry to think the worst of the west. Hinduism started out as sexually progressive just so you know.

Moreover according to the author, holocaust, slavery etc. were started by the "sexually restrictive" cultures i.e. the west.

 

she does have a point. these "progressives" have a legacy that is quite at odds with the liberal outlook that they like to project. compared to the rest of the world they are and have been sexually "progressive" even during these events, victorian mores notwithstanding.

 

you are right. i find it illogical, something like a heavy metal enthusiast trying to find common ground with carnatic music purists.

 

We all have friends and family who we depend on without any contracts attached. Why not have similar contract less romantic relationships? Yes, relationships as in plural; why not if that is what one want?

Sex is natural as breathing; what is the need for so many rules to govern it? Why the fuss, if it is between mature people who know what they want. If catching STD is the concern, don’t we all catch bugs in so many means, does that mean we stop breathing, eating, touching? No we don’t, we just try to be careful and take precautionary action to not get sick, why not look at sex this way?

If two people want to live together and want to practice monogamy, it is their personal wish, why do they need a legal contract and have a party to show their commitment? By having marriage as a social norm, we are making people sign a contract about their uncertain future. When getting married, many may have all the right intention to make it work, but people change and their situations change. Is exiting that easy to do? No it’s not.

Society expects married couple to make it work, so many pressure from family, friends, to make it work. In the struggle between individual want and what is expected by society, some people might take the easy way out. I am not condoning cheating, just stating it’s not black and white, as it seems.

 

honeycomb,
No one needs any contract by law.
People who want to marry can do so, people who dont want to, need not. As simple as that. Ofcourse every action and decision/choice has a consequence, and we have to accept it. As simple as that.

 

I understand what you are saying, I respect your views but currently my views are different to yours. My views change all the time, so I may completely agree with you on this one day.

 

^ not even sure what I disagreed?
If polyamory (or any other alternatives) is one's cup of tea, by all means go ahead and declare it to your romantic interest person ahead of time, and if two adults consent, then nearly anything is cool (as long as consensual, legal and done with prior knowledge of the adults involved).
To the rest of us, who may want monogamy and 'with marriage', so be it.

 

Ragini, I don't condone infidelity, there is no denying that is not the right thing to do. I just don't agree that marriage is completely optional like you make it sound. As long as marriage is a social norm, it is not the done thing to go against it. Once married it is not easy to exit without having the reasons that are set as valid reasons for divorce.

For the record, polyamory is not my thing but if someone wants to practice it then they should be allowed to do so openly without being judged or labelled as a pervert. Homosexuality was not considered as a norm a while ago, what did homosexuals do during that time, they hid their sexuality. They had to fight to have their rights recognised, but why do we even have fight for our sexual behaviour?

These are just my views on the whole concept of marriage at the moment. I don't want to argue about it more as I don't want to hurt people who may have gone through lot of pain due to their spouse's infidelity by my views regarding this sensitive topic.