Why do few couples living abroad have their kids taken care by parents or ILs?

Curious, your question applies to parents living in India too. One of my coworkers has left her kid with her ILs in Madurai whereas she continues to work from Chennai. The husband and wife do rake good moolah but the kid is with the inlaws since it was 3 months.

These people are more materialistic and they don't give room for emotions. They have confidence in the care takers. They know they will not miss out on anything because they are confident the child will eventually come to them.

 

Interesting Topic :thumbsup

Yes even I was curious as to why ppl leave there kids with grandparents, as we have to go thru so much .. pregnancy , labour , post-partum all to give your child away.

I know a lot of ppl how do that, in UK almost 70% of desi doctors I know , leave there kids with GPs or some posh residential school in Simla. In UK or US its rare that Docs get there residency or fellow in the same city , so wife's in one's plc... DH is in one ,Kid in India...... all for career.

I know a couple , i asked the same question as why kids in India , she was like my bio-clock was ticking and i had to have a kid , but i cant leave by career hence kids in India, they visit kids once in a yr.

I personal know my Aunt who is going thru endless fertility treatments to have her second child, hers was the same story when she gave birth to my nephew who is 11yrs now, she was on peak of her career and could not take care so my nephew ,so he was with my GPs, now she realised what she has missed .. hence she wanted a second child so that she can experience of bringing up a child.

I know GPs bring up kids very well, but the question is when will we become parents if we want to put our responsibility on others?

 

@archana2008

Its a very difficult situation, hugs to you.

I hope and pray all your difficulties vanish and you and DD unite soon.

 

I saw a phrase in one book I was reading last week - it said:

"Your parents have already done their role of child rearing. Dont take advantage of their kindness and graciousness to convert them into baby sitters and do the jobs and chores that you are supposed to be doing as parents"

I guess while getting occasional help and support is reasonable, that was targeted at parents who conveniently give the grandparents a second child rearing job.

 

Good thought thumbsupthumbsup

 

yes. it is a trend that i notice very commonly in the present generation. in previous generations, not as many women worked and those who worked did the same thing as far as i know.
any child while growing needs care and those women who work have no other option be it any generation. but the older generation right now are at the tough end right now with retirement not giving them the rest they deserve or desire.
whatever it is, if it's fine with all involved, be it the child, parent or grandparent, i think we don't have the right to comment.
in my case, i gave up my very good job in order to take care of my DD.

 

I agree with DDC. I know the pain.

Reasons could be many. If there is violence/abuse in the marriage and child should be protected then you can leave the kid with GP. Valid reason. Don't tell me career/job...Can't a lady sacrifice such materialistic things for the little one??? There are families who live happily with 15-20K income in India. Only software engineers/ professionals who earn more are doing such things.

Also the bonding has to happen when the child is young. If you miss the chance, then you will never get a second chance.

 

mithy, very well said... but i sometimes feel India and jobs here are pretty much belittled and underestimated.........15-20 k?? really?

 

Loony, I didn't mean to degrade our country. Does it sound that way?

15-20K is more than enough to run a family in India. Is it not right? And the family sometimes includes in-laws too.