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Why do few couples living abroad have their kids taken care by parents or ILs?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by curiousgal, Jul 10, 2010.

  1. curiousgal

    curiousgal Bronze IL'ite

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    All,
    Thanks for your support......yeah....we'll continue to have a healthy discussion.....every person behaves in a certain manner due to a certain reason......so the intent of this thread is not to point a finger at anyone else.....just sharing thoughts.

    ShilpaMa:

    I'm totally with you on what you posted. DS is only 8 months old and there are days I wish I get a break. Seriously, children get a break from school in holidays, we get break on weekends from work.....everything else there is a break.....parenting...oh no.....no break.
    Today I had a splitting headache and my LO was throwing a tantrum. If it were an adult, I would just give him a piece of my mind and ask him to just shutup! But with DS, just cannot do it. So I pop a few pills and patiently put up with his tantrums :) Slept with him while he took his nap and feel so better.
    Though I am a very strong advocate of parents taking care of their children, sometimes I long for family to be there to help me. Yeah....seriously, if only I would get some rest....some break from this continuous act.....and to top it all, my son is not sleeping through the night for the past couple of days. My poor hubby only gets 6-7 hours of sleep in a day due to his hectic schedule at work....and that 6-7 also is not restful now due to DS.....I wonder if DS is teething!
     
  2. brahan

    brahan Platinum IL'ite

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    Thats really Bad on You...Just to know "WHY" i would never want to have this.....

    Cheers,
    Brahan:thumbsup
     
  3. archana2008

    archana2008 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Sabi,
    "what kind of life is that" and "Do they even realize on how much they've missed? " were hurting words.
    Nobody is pinpointing nobody here.
    But it is just about few couples living abroad sending kids to India.
    And yes i fall under that few couples so i had to reply back.
    Because with words i could not express what kind of life..
    that is why i had to say those words..
    no worries did not pray anything bad though..
    dont want anyone else to get hurt.

    Hi CuriousGal,
    how parents can do that.. these wording are good to discuss.
    But not what kind of life is that..Also it is not always just cost.
    There are many factors that are being discussed.
    Yes i was deeply offended by this thread or rather those wordings what kind of life is that...
    Could not sleep after reading this.
    Discussed it with my DH and we just wished all understood what it means.
    Dont worry i understand what i go through so did not pray anything bad for you or anyone or can never do that.

    before baby even i would tell one of my colleague oh dont send baby..
    i will never send my baby..
    BUT God showed me that their are situations where you have to..
    yup even my situation is temporary..
    My darling daughter will be with me soon.

    Hi Brahan,
    well said Just to know "WHY" i would never want to have this.
    when someone is already hurt on the top you get to hear words like what kind of life..
    i could not explain the kind of life that is why had to say those words.
    Anyways i would never want any mother to separate from their kids..
     
  4. curiousgal

    curiousgal Bronze IL'ite

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    archana:

    Once again, sorry that this thread offended you to such an extent that you lost sleep over it. I have to learn to word myself better here and will make every attempt to do so in the future. Yeah...a child is precious (even though my DS is causing me to have sleepless nights for the 3rd night in a row and I'm really really sleep deprived and irritated)....and am really happy to hear that your kid will be joining you soon. I wish the same for everyone else too.

    priya
     
  5. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    Archana, no matter how hurt you're, its adivsable not to utter curses esp when kids are involved, you never know which one said at what time comes true... whether you meant it from heart or no.

    There's another ilite who got married against her parents wishes who broke off all ties with their daughter and cursed that she'll cry for her daughter and yes her daughter has a medical condition.

    Same goes for me.. my MIL cursed that I'll always cry for my son as she has to stay away from her son.. my son also has medical condition.

    As far as possible take threads on a positive note and share what you do to cope up with the distance, maybe curious is looking for similar tips in order to get back to work... or an answer to why she's chosen to be SAHM.
     
  6. Traveller

    Traveller Gold IL'ite

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    ladies (and gentleman as well!),

    i agree that emotions run high when such sensitive topics are involved. I will not say if you do not agree with the thread step aside:) we have healthy discussions when different perspectives are put forth. my sincere and humble request is this : before you press that 'submit' button, think twice,thrice, take a deep breath and then post. words spilled can be deleted in virtual world, yes, but let's not hurt each other's feelings.

    Latha
     
  7. brahan

    brahan Platinum IL'ite

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    ARchana,

    As a mother i can understand the Pain and Agony you are having..I wish you would be with your Daughter soon...As said by ShilpaMa , let us think Good, Do Good and Be Good and Say Good.

    Good Luck...,

    Cheers,
    Brahan:thumbsup
     
  8. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    Well said, Latha! :thumbsup

    Though Priya meant well, I anticipated that this thread would stir up some sensitive souls. That is why as the very first response to this thread I posted this:
    And Priya took it so well and acknowledged it immediately - Thanks Priya & others! Sorry Archana, I am sure the OPs might not have meant to offend you but may be the choice of words did.
     
  9. Sabitha_K

    Sabitha_K Gold IL'ite

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    Archu, thanks for coming back to the thread.I knew that you were offended deeply hence the trenchant reply, but as curiousgal has apologized several times if she sounded or was interpreted wrongly, guess no hard feelings now :thumbsup

    ShilpaMa,I just loved your reply pertaining to the original post

    Latha , as usual a smart and succinct reply from you, could not agree more.
     
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2010
  10. Sabitha_K

    Sabitha_K Gold IL'ite

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    Coming back to the original thread, I was wondering owing to the technology and other communication devices we have ( photo-sharing , internet calls, messaging software ) probably parents are able to share those joyous moments better than it would have been possible without them.

    Though the decision is really tough , does it ease or benefit knowing that you are well connected now ..
     

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