Why did you quit the job after kids? No? Then what keeps you going?

I continued to work with full focus on my career even after my child..

the sole reason being my mother-in-law.. her support in taking very good care of home and my son is huge... I never once worried about my son...

This is the only reason I continued to work...if this was absent I would have quit..

It all depends on the situation for each woman right ?? Let's say if the woman is the sole bread winner for the home she would continue to work whether or not there is a strong support .. there are many families where being a SAHM is a considered a "luxury" (for whatever reason)

 

That was 3 decades ago. And the creche culture was not very popular. My mil had to attend my fil who was still in service and my bil, sil who was just in the final year of their college. Same with my Mom who has the responsibility of my grand parents plus my bro and sis who was studying. So I had no help from either side as I lived away from the city where they lived. So left with no choice but to leave the job. Sad. Sure tough to make the call. But never regretted it. It was my choice. Thats it.

 

I did not leave my job, but went on a career break to have some "long" unpaid leave to be with the family, when they are in need. Further, i am engaged with part-time consultancy job/mainly home based to keep my career active in the mean time.

I have 10+ years of experience in my original career, which paid really a great money plus loads of other benefits.

Quiting such a career, even though on a temporary basis for the family wasn't easy at the beginning. I had thought about this many times, but always I had one or the other excuses not to do this.

There was a time when my family seriously needed me. (kids were sick one after the other, Mom was stressed and tired of being the care taker primarily, and things were going beyond my control at home. Despite of earning hard, I could save very minimum due to my inability to control things at home).
Therefore, I had to apply frequent leaves at work. Sometimes sick leaves and family leaves without prior notification.

My old supervisor, who has been witnessing my dedicated work in the past few years had no issue with this fluctuations. But unfortunately she had been transferred; hence a workaholic Chinese man turned out to be my new boss.

I failed to establish a good rapport with this new one since I had loads of problems at home to face then. Without my knowledge, I had prioritized my family; hence took my career for granted. This had been a huge red flag that time.

In Dec 2014 during a personal chat with my new supervisor on my performance evaluation, I understood how far I went irresponsible with my career over the past 3-4 months. I wasn't able to wholeheartedly accept an average feedback though I understood it clearly.
Because, I have always been rated "outstanding" in my work in the previous years. That gave me a shock.

In that emotional time, I decided to quit my job that day.

When I told this, everyone at home jumped with happiness. They were so happy to have me as a mom/wife and DD more than a money machine. Further, I realized how cruel I was at home due to the work stress I had then.

I took this opportunity to enjoy whatever the happiness meant for me at home.

Learnt cookery, cooked home based hot meals all the time. Grow organic vegetable garden at home.
Learnt DIY and interior decor. Done my own facials, joined Yoga class, enrolled to a diet program
Spent quality time with kids, teach them, met their teachers (in pre school) to discuss their progress.
Been a good wife to husband and good daughter to mom
Spend time to re-start all the lost friendships, made new friends and spend quality time in social media too.
Catch up with all the movies that I missed, and what not.

I am enjoying this life so much now...

Its been almost 1 year since I left my job. I am happy in all the terms. But whenever I see my fellow colleagues on a trip/meeting outside the country, the new opportunity that suits me and related feedback, I go moody for the moment.
I still miss my career. I am sure that I am not meant to be a house-wife.

But, I believe...this too shall pass.

 

I am quitting my job as my baby is nearing 10 months now. I was on maternity leave till my baby was 5 months and then have been working from home till now. But now, I am required to attend office which is around 5 hrs journey both ways and my work extends easily till 8 pm & I shall be able to reach home only around 9:30 pm. As my inlaws / parents shall not be able to support with baby care, I have opted for career break for around 2 years till baby grows so that I can put her to full-day baby care.

 

im still working with two DDs. one is 7 yrs and other is 15 months.
At time of elder one i took break of 1.5 yr as i was very emotional as it was first child and wanted to give my quality time with her. also there was no one at home to take care of her and tried creche and nany but both had negative result so quieted job. then when i got both side parents help and DD almost 1.5 yr then rejoined office and then started with new energy but i had to compromise on pay front as was out of market for years. but still with GOD's grace i managed again.
then at time of second one i was emotional and financial strong and knew all ifs and buts and really did not relied on parents as i knew anytime they can ditch so kept on searching for nany right after she was 3 months and i had to join office after she completes 4 month.
it was really a hard time experimenting all samples nany and i was really frustrated. also there was time i use to cry as why should i keep her with them when close one are there and this and that..but made myself strong and prayed god and was positive.
mean while i got so many better opportunities and pay hike job but i dint excepted any as new office new boss new job will require my 100% which right now i m not able to deliver. so kept myself satisfied with what i have....

 

I took a break from work after my child was born after much perusal weighing in the pros and cons of quitting/working. I figured it will not work out for me to physically leave my infant for so many hours a day; it wasn't worth it. My baby needed to be fed & nourished by me exclusively, especially for the first 6 months to a year and I didn't want to deprive my child of that basic necessity of human life post birth. That was one of the primary reasons, though there were other reasons like the day to day challenges that come with parenting very young children.

To keep it short, I figured it suited me & my baby better that I play down my career & prioritize my child's infancy & formative early years over my job. I could live with a slack in career that can be caught up with later, but I wouldn't be able to turn back time to my baby's early childhood requirements of a mother's 'primal' care. The guilt would've been too much to take for me that no amount of career and resultant money could compensate for.
I was passionate about my work but could never put it on a higher pedestal than my calling as a parent. For me nothing comes before the wellbeing & requirements of my child, not even a promising career. However, now that my child is older, pursuing career is easier, more manageable & fulfilling.

 

This is a key fact that time goes in one direction only. Though the decision that ensues after considering the fact, varies because other situations factor in. But the above is an important parameter when one weighs the decision.

 

I did not quit because of the below reasons:

1) Non Fussy first child - blended well in the day care. I was lucky to get a really good day care that was clean and loving to my chid
2) I work in IT and my employer has ALWAYS been flexible - good bosses who did not have any problem with me taking a day off suddenly when the kid was sick
3) My mom- who always told me how important it was to have a career and be independant (atleast financially).
4) After second kid, my employer gave me a transfer to my hometown. My parents were there for me as pillars of support - even when MIL and H acted up and decided to give me a hard time, my mom stuck by me.
5) Despite all that he has done to irritate me , my H has never told me "You have to stay at home and take care of kids" or "My kids wont go to day care". He has always supported me to go on with my career. Once we moved to the US, where my parents could no longer support me,he never blamed me for spending less time with kids because I was working. Never expects me to be perfect and completely understands that my job is stressful as well - so takes care of kids when needed and helps me in chores to whatever extent possible.

So the reason that I still work is not my determination alone - its MAINLY because my family and the people around me have supported me constantly.

 

Absolutely. Agree, situations do vary from family to family and they play an important role in such decisions. Though I must give credit to my husband, my in-laws and my parents in equal measure for supporting me and reassuring me that they would stand by me in whatever I decided, especially my husband and parents who understood how important their support was to a person like me who'd burnt midnight oil through my post graduation years in an Institute that normally requires people to drop a year or two just to get the percentile required at the entrance exam level to make it through.....and then slog at my equally demanding job following college.

So yeah it was a HUGE decision for me and their support and understanding made all the difference. Plus the fact that these few initial demanding years of my baby required my presence more than my office did was the most important factor in my decision to let go of work till I felt comfortable starting again.