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Why are Sons treated unfairly and like ATM machines?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Grihani, Sep 18, 2014.

  1. Reena26

    Reena26 Senior IL'ite

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    It’s the nature. Not the culture. The concept of “respect for elders” can be used by elders to do good or bad things. Not all Indian elders are doing this. The generation before them (my grandparents) - they hardly completed school. They had no ego over money because they have done labor work. But their kids (our parents) many have degrees and get an ego and get others to do the labor work - even their own parents. My MIL had her FIL get vegetables from the market for years. And he came to her house by bike. That generation was active until very old age. And their kids used it to their advantage to help raise their kids. Then they claim that they are the only two who took care of their son alone with no support so they get benefits from his education alone.

    But my FIL and MIL just wants to sleep and watch tv and sit on his sons money. And have done nothing for their own grandchild except watch tv with him. It’s worse because if they come to USA they have excuses - we can’t drive to grocery store, we can’t speak English. Selfish!

    Here we respect our elders based on their behaviour/actions not their years on earth. I agree. If I am abusive to my son - even verbally. He is not required to just respect me because I am “elder”. I can get my point across by explaining to him why he should do things to be a good human. That requires patience, time and live. “Because I said so” requires no effort.
     
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  2. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    The treatment a girl gets is not conditional because it dosnt involve money... love or negligence or partiality... we have been shown the truth and we have grown to handle it.

    Men have money in the equation, it tints up all feelings. Also they arnt willing to find out because what if thier life was a lie?. I am not saying all men are buying affection but the truth is... you never know.
     
  3. Reena26

    Reena26 Senior IL'ite

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    Financially independent or not - no woman should have to accept abuse. The Indian Supreme Court has said in a case that a daughter in law has to be treated as an equal member of the family with no ignoble difference. Not a housemaid. No impression can be given that she can be thrown out of the house. Your Indian Penal Code has laws against cruel treatment too, dowry harassment and abettment of suicide too. While I do agree this is all in favor of women not men. It surely would bring shame on the family name. If reputation is everything - A family who face legal action or jail. You see daughter in-laws and the girls family standing up all the time and letting her return home than in a coffin.it comes in the news. It depends on the individual.
     
  4. Patientone

    Patientone Silver IL'ite

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    this is so true. The current generation of in-laws take bad advantage of their sons and their daughter in laws. It’s that horrible entitled attitude.
     

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