Why Are Some People So Cunning And Hide Simple Things?

Yeah such crimes do happen now also, among so called educated families as well....only thing is in many cases they suffer silently and these actions are not exposed to society..

 

These days it's not wise to disclose important information even to close people as such info either is misused or it becomes common gossip...
It's also a known fact that many people do not share future plans and prefer to keep it private..
Sometimes they may have valid reasons for doing so..
Even I do not like to share future plans too much also as certain plans do not materialise if u keep announcing in public..

 

@ Shifas - yes dear, depression and an unhappy pregnancy is more harmful to the baby than anything else.. Happy that everything turned out well for you. A girl child is no less valuable than a boy child. Sad your in laws think girl child is of less value

@ generic - yes dear, these incidents happen, it could be our friends, cousins, neighbors that are victims. However, victimization often happens under closed doors and the victims voices are often silenced, either by husband, in laws, parents or our society. It is even more surprising that gender ratio is skewing on the wrong side with every year. It is worse in urban areas than in rural areas.

 

One friend of mine hàs kept many secrets hidden from me. We used to be neighbours for a long period of time and therefore knew many a times the ups and downs of both families. They have had many good as well as bad times whereas ours was a steady ok type but never very much better than them as we lived a simple life. We were in the same college and also in the same office for some years. Her dad was always a secretive cunning type like he was unemployed for a long time and still is but often would have some money to splurge. She was married off to a very rich family, was lucky enough to get a very good husband and family. After her marriage she changed fully. Though she was having enough funds in their family account( in laws side) she used to live with her parents considering travel distance to work place. In the mean time we shifted to a different place (not very far) but had regular contacts with them. Used to visit them once in a while and vice versa. Even though she had a rich in-laws background she and her parents would be really slogging. Now fast forward her father got some ancestors property and they were actually better financially. She was in touch with me and my family and would know each n everything happening in my life. But ask the same things back and she would just not reply properly. She had been to her native few times and when asked reason would say just like that. No clear answers. But at the same time would want to know even the basics about me. I was a fool to have not recognised that change. Keeping so many secrets. She quit her job, changed country, bought house in native place. And all this happenings I get to know from a third person and not her who was close to me. She obviously hid it from me. I wanted to ask her so many things but I just messaged her my best wishes as I was deeply hurt by her act. I no longer consider her as my friend and don't want to be in touch.

I doubt why people ask so many basic things to others when they want to keep everything about them as secret.

 

Be thankful that you are not like them, take a minute to pity these people for their petty thinking and move on. Dont let it change you.

I firmly believe that imitation is the best form of flattery. I am happy to share details that might be of use to others. And if it is information that is hard to gather, i am even more generous. That's how i operate on indusladies too - by sharing my hard earned life experience so that other women could make smarter decisions !!

This needless hiding of information when someone asks for help - I find such thinking reflective of a person's small thinking and petty mind. It is not like anyone is asking them for their social security number or credit card details. Obviously i am refering to social, day to day stuff, not stuff related to work or highly private matters where more discretion may be desired.

And what on earth is this "preserving uniqueness" concept in social circles ? It's beyond silly for adult women to act this way. Get this - One google search with the right search terms is all it takes to find what you saw someone wear/use/own. You can find ANYTHING online. I know cos i dont bother asking ppl a second time once they act vague. I just go online or generally ask around. Sometimes this leads me to information even better than the original.

When someone behaves in the ways you listed, i.e a bit oversmart, i make a mental note and just dont bother sharing anything with them in the future. They dont deserve to benefit from my social intelligence either. A bit like serving them a dose of their own medicine. Works wonders !

If everybody acted this way, withholding "precious uniqueness preserving" information about shopping, recipes, pools and technology, the world just wouldnt have had the world wide web.

The world works best for givers not for the takers.

 

Just wanted to let you know that I like to read your posts. They are well thought out and well articulated. I may not always agree with you, but your posts may me pause and think. No doubt, you are a giver .

PS- coincidentally i was listening to this TED talk on the way to work today
Adam Grant: Are you a giver or a taker? | TED Talk | TED.com

 

Dear Pruthvee,

We come across many people in our life. each person has individual characteristics and a different perception of a matter. I wouldn't say the matters you have pointed are petty but as long as its not hurting anything other than your ego...please ignore.

I have had many such incidences...but have mostly forgotten the petty ones as I didn't take it my heart. It may have bothered me for a few days, maybe.....but its better to forget them.

I do remember one incident which hurt me. I was in a college doing my MBA program in Blore and lived in a hostel. We used to have classes from lot of visiting faculties from IIM B. After the end of day at college a lecturer called up one of my classmates and asked het to inform everyone that there is a special lecture from IIM B grad early in the morning next day, which was a sat our weekend off day. The classmate came out of the class and informed all the boys and other girls. But she didn't inform me and my room mate.
Next day morning we got up and were lazing around as it was sat. This classmate got all dressed up and came to our room to borrow something. We asked her why she was dressed so early on sat. she ignored the ques and even sat there and talked about everything else for good 10 mins and went away.
Only on sunday we came to know that there was an important lecture on sat and everyone except us had attended.

This is something I can never forget.

 

Hii @madras2018
Very well written. How beautiful would our lives be if ppl think like the way you think. But yes we should accept everything.. not just good comes through our way always...
Your writing os commentable. I liked it. ☺☺☺

 

Good observation. The people who are not "telling" are doing a favor. You can indeed find anything online, and what you find is usually much better than what you can get from acquaintances, or strangers. You can also search with fine tuned information for your special needs, whereas you cannot tell such things to other people.

 

Another perspective of people not indulging in revealing conversations is that many believe that you will simple ask for advice but will never really follow them.

I have a friend who does this and believe it is very annoying.

She likes to gather others view before any major decision like buying a flat or electronics for home. Say she needs to buy a water purifier, she will first go to various outlets and learn about the features and zero in on one model and brand. But she wont buy it. LIke doing a market survey then she will meet each of her friends and neighbors and ask them in detail about the purifiers they have at home. And believe me she will drill you like she is going to employ you in her purifier company. But then she will buy only what she had thought of.

Its ok to be well aware of stuff before investing but she goes too far.