Why Are Privileged People Made To Feel Guilty?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by anika987, Jul 1, 2022.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Take celebrity kids for example.SRK worked very hard for his daughter and son.Yes they may have an easy entry into the field but then they have to put in the hardwork to sustain.That entry or movie chances is due to privilege and honestly I don’t see anything wrong with it.

    Even regular people will try to use influence or privilege to get the college seat or get their kids in the best schools.

    Privilege becomes a problem only when others chances are ruined.For eg: Giving the first prize coz he or she is so and so daughter or son or giving that promotion to a less deserving person coz he or she is related or friends.


    Privilege is NOT a problem when a person is able to afford something or have an easy life.That should not affect others.let them enjoy as long as they are not disturbing others.However,I have seen people who are so jealous and try to pull them down citing how they work hard and not getting anything and how others have it easier.That frustration is not needed.

    Life is not fair. Infact I think there is no such thing as fair or unfair.Our privileges differ from person to person.I think we should make best with our reality instead of worrying about why others have it better or less.Many will be thinking about us the same way.This is unnecessary stress.That causes people to overwork,angry,get into competitive mode and thereby negative path.

    Life is so beautiful when we come out of that rat race.Doing what we love and giving our best,accepting and making the best out of our situation.Competing only with ourselves,finding gratitude and feeling good with our privileges.The mind and body will be so relaxed and the contentment in the face makes you look so beautiful.

    Isn’t it great when we are happy for other people?
     
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  2. nandinimithun

    nandinimithun IL Hall of Fame

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    Privilege is ok, but throwing unwanted arrogance and attitude to those who are less privileged is not acceptable.

    Snatching away other's opportunities knowing well that they are more talented than me is not acceptable.

    This reminds me of the hindi movie Hindi medium, where the couple go to the extent of pretending they are poor to bag the RTE seat for their child, because they couldn't get it normally.

    The movie was a satirical comedy, of course in the end therebis a wonderful message, if you havent watched yet, please do so.

    Regards
    Nandini
     
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  3. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Interesting question.

    Some half-baked thoughts from me below. It's almost the long weekend, deeper thought not possible. : )

    Maybe one has to be somewhat privileged, then one will try to not resent the more privileged.
    I don't know ... I've written about this before: My kids are privileged. In college, one had a classmate who was working many hours per week as a security guard and attended classes from his security booth in an underground parking garage. Another classmate is worried as the college meal-plan no longer allows unlimited visits to the dining hall. If those kids envy the privilege my kids have, is such envy wrong? Should those kids be grateful they have the privilege of attending college and feel good about that privilege? I don't know. There's something about a hungry college kid that upsets me in an elemental way.
     
  4. ashima10

    ashima10 Platinum IL'ite

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    It is just the facts. Give me that life and try making me feel guilty! :p
     
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  5. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Honestly, you guys worked hard for your kids to have a good life so that they do not have unnecessary stress.Your kids are enjoying the fruits of your labor.The only thing kids need to be thought is value and gratitude.Therenisnt a need of bringing down privileged people just coz they are not able to afford certain things as long as it does not disturb anyone.Even with privileges one has to work hard to sustain.Nobody’s life is a bed or roses even if they are the richest.
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2022
  6. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Privileges are completely okay as long as people do not disturb others.I mentioned it’s all about affording certain things like that.Problem is arrogance is coming from people who have worked very hard for something or they have a hard life claiming they are ones who deserve it. Yea they are deserving but jealously is not needed.That’s the point.if someone needs something they badly want..they have to walk through that fire. Some think just coz they worked hard in their field .deserve the best happiness , best relationships and when others have it easy, get annoyed.I am talking from observance and they spit envy towards people even if they haven’t done anything to them. We have to make the best of our reality and have gratitude.

    My point of the thread is more about not having anything against people who have a good life.

    i also mentioned snatching opportunities is wrong.that’s wrong use of privilege.
     
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  7. Srama

    Srama IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear @anika,

    I may put my foot in my mouth while responding to this thread - so please know that my response is not ill intentioned at all and at any level. This is a thought I ruminate on every day basis. The nature of my job brings me in contact with extremes on a daily basis - on one hand I teach highly gifted, somewhat well off students as my five days/week job and on weekends I work with students from backgrounds that are diametrically opposite to the first group. The honest truth is, I am only grateful and hope that I might have made a teeny bit difference in their lives - both the cases. This see-saw of emotions are not easy to handle and over the years I have realized one thing - more than pondering, the only thing I can do is make a difference in my interactions as the situation demands or circumstances permit. The absolute truth is - both the groups of kids I interact with come with their own blessings and challenges. The key is in helping them understand that both have the ability to improve their situations and circumstances. What I see lacking in many a situation is action - we all observe, ponder and even comment but how do we help, not see it as help (but as doing your job) and continue with one foot in front of the other. I also take a lot of classes on social justice and am constantly paying attention to students, situations and circumstances as I go about my day. One of the most valuable lessons I have learnt was when a colleague approached a student (who perhaps was on a meal plan) first thing in the morning before the bell and say "hey buddy! Hope your breakfast was yummy" and continued to the effect that if there is an off chance that he had not eaten yet, she was famished and would love to eat with him! It was done so casually that to this day, the image stays in my mind and I am forever grateful. Struggles are personal and every one has them - no matter what strata of society they belong to. I can vouch for the various struggles of both my privileged classroom kids and the kids I work with on weekends. So are joys!

    A lot of our high schoolers do charity work and I am often asked to talk with them or help bring some charities from India their way. I try to tell students that charity is not giving what we think others need (for example, because I sleep on a bed I think everyone needs a bed!) but actually paying attention and giving what the other needs. The truth is all of us need things - just different things, different circumstances, different needs. Anyways, in one of such events, a high schooler was shocked that students who received help (money and education wise) to pass their high school did not come back to help their school (and others) when their circumstances got better. I only commented "lets hope that he is making a difference where ever he is!". The high schooler later came up and said that he did not think that way and was feeling only resentment that the person who received help is not helping - comes back to the idea of charity no? I think inculcating that sense will somewhat help alleviate that sense of privilege also. Understanding that no matter what (our circumstances), there are going to be others who are better than us and worse than us. The only thing we can do is make a difference to the bubble we have been assigned to so that our bubble touches other bubbles, spread and find stability and yet reach more.

    I chose to limit my response to only teaching and that too elementary school teaching for that is my world. As I see updates about the life styles of kardashians and chopras of the world, I choose to ignore because what they do does not apply to my world - they are not my reality or my little world's reality. The idea I struggle with on a daily basis is how to give roots to grow and wings to fly - to us and others around us. My goal is just to do that on a daily basis.

    Privilege is all around us, no matter where you look. Heck, even nature shows it. The goal is not how to be like the other or envy the other, but how do we better our own versions and how to teach that to those with us and after us? As part of equity and social justice course I took, I had to watch this video for a paper and it has helped me keep perspective - I'm not your inspiration, thank you very much It has impacted me and I have not been the same person since!
     
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  8. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Beautiful answer
     
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  9. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Some random thoughts..

    I have had my fair share of troubles in the past and I can say am blessesd with a wonderful spouse.I have never felt respect and love the way he gives me.I have always been the butt of jokes everywhere within my family,school and college and from a shy,scared kid ..today to whatever I am..I owe it to my husband.He is behind whatever happiness or success I got.This is my privilege.My relatives are extremely well to do and in high career positions and still put me down.I always wondered why they do this when they are so successful.When confronted I got an answer..

    “We work so hard and suffer but you have it easy.You easily came to America and buying things which we work for. We work hard on our relationships but it seems you never seem to have an issue with your spouse.So we will talk that way coz u r less deserving than us“..

    Well..for their hard work they got society accrediion,best of parties ,brands and exotic locations. Still they compare with me and talk that way?As for buying things..I buy from tj maxx,ross where u get brands in lower prices:) I don’t disturb them still they always hated me..

    Anyways..I can say am
    Privileged coz am
    Happy with what I got.I have never felt respect and my hubby treats me well so I treat him like a king and I feel this is enough.


    The feeling of gratitude,valuing what we have and working for what we really want without putting down others..that mindset itself is a privilege I feel
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2022
  10. nuss

    nuss Finest Post Winner

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    I can't say it is better than @Srama! We can talk, discuss, and start dialogues but unless we do something to make a change, none of the talks matter.

    We all have the power to bring change, whatever small it is. @Srama is making a difference in the lives of the kids she is interacting with. My world revolves around higher education. My students come from all backgrounds- from rich kids with parents paying tuition and housing to kids who have to work 3 jobs to make ends meet. They all are incredible people. As @Rihana said no kid (in school or college) should go hungry and we can make sure of it by doing small acts of kindness. My students volunteer at the university food bank and the least I can do is let them take the time off from research to make a difference for our student population. My lab started a hygiene products project to stock all bathrooms in our building and my contact address to let me know if supplies are low.

    I feel I am privileged because I have a stable job and make enough to help people around me. My children are privileged because they are loved and well taken care of. Yes, we have worked hard for this life but I also know people who work equally hard but either didn't have a good start (no education) or weren't lucky to lend a good job. These are also privileges not just being SRK or Kardashian.
     

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