Whose responsibiliy is it???

did u use the word RIGHTS? Seriously? Entitlement eh?

 

I was "fascinated" with expensive purses (Like Hermes or Chanel etc) so instead of asking/ begging others, I got myself a fantastic job that allows me to indulge my desires.

The OP in question very evidently wants her brother and his wife to give HER expensive gifts....the BP monitor was just thrown into the mix. Had the brother and wife wooed her with gifts she I am certain would be fine with the mother going and cleaning the apartment on her own without any hired help.

I say this because request for having apartment cleaned has nothing to do with gifts. Plus you really don't need an EXOTIC BP monitor- just something accurate and I am certain there are plenty of good ones available in India. I can bet that her grouse is not about the BP monitor but about the fact that did not get any gifts from her brother and his wife.

 

Yes expecting monetary show of affection is greedy. If you need something work for it- never ask anyone.

I share wonderful relationship with my brother and sister and they love me so much- I do the same. Our parents have tried to instilled good values in us that we don't ask anyone for anything and we don't believe that buying stuff is yardstick of affection.

To me BP monitors etc. are not "exotic" gifts- they are necessities and if there is need for that I would just go and buy it not delegate to my brother. My idea of "exotic gifts is three weeks of all expenses paid vacation to Europe for my parents (which we gave on their 35th wedding anniversary)- something fun - not BP monitor. This much thought and discussion should not go into buying a BP machine.

I don't happen to give a lot of gifts from dollar store to random people in India as I see most people do. All this meaningless gifts giving and expecting is very hollow and has no place in my life. Even for my wedding - it was very clearly communicated - Gifts only in form of blessing- if I was greedy I could have walked through Bloomingdales and put random stuff on my registry.

I belong to a free country and I will voice my opinion. I already stated that you cannot understand people who believe in self respect and dignity and think it beneath them to ASK materialistic things from others.

But you go back to asking gifts from others.....don't let my moral talk stop you

 

No matter how you spin it I cannot imagine asking- dad/mom/ bro, sis, uncle, aunty, cousin- buy me x,y or z. I can ask IF I offer to pay for it. But that is me- that is how I was raised and that is how I plan to raise my baby.

My dad says boundaries are good- it shows respect for other individual and keeps relationships healthy.

I cannot imagine someone attacked for good morals. But then greed has no boundaries.

 

Very well said :thumbsup

 

After reading all posts, I wonder how a person gets branded as "greedy" just becos they ask for few small gifts from their siblings? It's a common practice not to go empty handed when you are visiting someone's home after a long time. In mine as well as DH's and my in-laws family circle, I have seen that siblings are very close to each other and they do sometimes ask each other for a few small things...Like they may ask siblings for some foreign chocolates or some eatables/masalas/handicrafts available specially at their native place, for example...and likewise they also reciprocate by gifting back ...But if they are requesting for expensive items such as digital camera from siblings they pay for it...I think it's perfectly ok and I really don't think there's anything wrong in asking for few inexpensive things that are easily available and don't cost much...she has asked for BP monitor and "a" handbag (not specifically branded handbag ) which dont cost too much and if OP's SIL was unable to send immediately she could have easily explained to OP that she would get it some other time after they were better settled...Then OP would have purchased in India itself...Maybe she's just a little hurt that her request was being ignored and that's a common problem as everyone has ego at some point or the other. On the other hand if OP had asked for branded handbags, cash ,jewellery, expensive gadgets, holiday packages etc then I would have also agreed she was greedy & shameless..but in this case, NO.

 

jus forget others' mistake.

be cool with persons who are doing wrongs. They will realize after some time. If not dont worry.. time will teach them lessons.

regds
ezhiladvocate

 

Complainbaby...Is it necessary to make disgusting personal attack towards fellow posters?I am reporting this post.

 

Several posters have made personal attacks on this thread in their previous posts, dear moderators please check the previous posts and delete those too

 

Hahaha, my marriage is doomed because I have nasty greedy inlaws. Not because I have some selfrespect.

Yep my husband knows what I give my siblings. Whn did i say my husbad cant gifT? We spend the same money for both sides. Just that my greedy SIL wants more and more!

You don't seem to get it! I am not against gifting, I'm against begging /demanding gifts

what makes you think I'm a leech? How at all ? I dont have to justify to you, but I have a very successful career. i can buy what i want, not beg people! I don't support begging for gifts, and you can call me what you want.

One thing is set in stone, people who beg others for gifts ARE LEECHES.

If this is offensive to you, it's hitting you somewhere.

If you've been harassing people for gifts, you can change. Stop asking people for things, see how much respect you earn.

You have no rights on other people's income. It's their RIGHT to decide how they want to spend it. Whether it's on you, or their luxuries, it's their choice. They don't have to justify things to you! Just because you have the same parents, you can't demand things from siblings!! See, if you insist on speaking on rights, a wife and husband have rights on each other to some extent. My husband blew a big hole in MY savings to buy a brand new Mercedes SUV that HE drives. Do I mind? No! I run the house on his money, he is ok with that. Thats the understanding we have as a couple, and his sister does NOT have the same rights. she can have that sort of a relationship with HER husband. If my sister is constantly asking for gifts, it WILL bother my husband. . It's the same case the other way around too.

Yes darling, I want to see ONLY my family. How does that make me greedy?? Your logic has no head or tail. Honey, I don't know why you are so frustrated. Get a life!!

People avoid leeches like plague. My advise was ONLY to help you get rid of one disgusting part of your attitude. You listen you benefit, if you dont, your loss.

You make personal remarks at me, etc wont matter to me. I will still be against begging for gifts if I have to encourage begging for being happily married, I'd rather not have it. Disgrace!!