I don't want to belong that so called society. I hadn't raise my voice at my marriage because I didn't know how to convince my parents. Now, As a mom of boy and girl, I decided long ago not to take and not to give dowry. I can't change others but I can change myself and something which is in my control.
Is your Husband and In-Laws convinced of your plan to not take and not give dowry? Or maybe you are in a position to override them? At what point does the Wife, who becomes a Mother have the power to override her Husband and In-Laws?
My husband will know when the right time comes and I have confidence that I can follow my decision. On which things? On Any particular decision ?
I guess any decision in general. For instance, my elderly Aunty and Uncle visited India just before Coronavirus. Uncle refused to wash hands, cover mouth while coughing. He had no consideration for my Aunty who is cleanliness conscious and she got sick. Had to be wheeled out of the Airport on the way home. And this guy is IIT-educated!
Is Vismaya's an arranged marriage? Somewhere read as it's a love and then arranged. I am just wondering what were the man's parent doing when all this non sense was happening...
It was arranged marriage but she had chosen him through marriage alliances.‘Was Unaware of Abuse for 8 Months’: Brother on Kerala Dowry Death.
And this makes me feel sad. Education of mind is not equal to Education of heart. Women (at least in USA) say, I am liberal, I am progressive, I am not doormat. Then when reality comes, it is opposite. I don't have extensive marriage experience but I am thinking girl should have mindset to walk out at any time. But how do you walk out if kids might be damaged. Or not. Again, I dunno. But from first and brief abusive marriage I learned do not depend on anyone for happiness, walk away. God was gracious and crumbled it for me
I Agree that someone's attitude doesn't change by education. I think there is a lot of change in girl's mind set now at least I feel who are in USA are bold and independent. They can control their life without thinking about society. Yes, it is difficult to walk away from unhappy/abusive marriage when kids are in the scene. What is the point of kids live in dysfunctional family? And it affects their physical and mental health. So, it's okay to move away from evil partner at any time and even kids definitely will understand. I admire your courage, Sui. My best wishes to your future.