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Who told us???

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by ambika04, Jul 9, 2010.

  1. ambika04

    ambika04 Gold IL'ite

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    We both attended 25th Wedding Anniversary celebration of my in-laws family friend.25 years of married life Oh mine! A very long way to go for us. Most of the couple who attended was aged. Its was a very refreshing site to see. All ladies dressed in pattu sarees with gold frame glasses, stone bangles, beaded chains, peral sets etc that matched perfectly their age. Old smart mens were no less. They were trim, tucked in shirts, black polished shoes and white kerchiefs, few in dhotis. A very adorable site indeed.

    They were wishing us next time I should see you in three.Oh god. Myself & my husband are two grown up kid. I don’t know if we have kid will it learn from us or will we pick up easily from the kid? I scratched my head in excitement.

    I always enjoyed the company of spending time with grandmas. Their laughter, old stories, their alertness, punctuality always amazes me. Few grannies are good in politics too. Now the real story starts like this: I just wanted to relax after having a good lunch. Accepting acknowledgement from my taste buds for the good lunch I had I kept adjusting my saree.My co-sister (My husband’s cousin’s wife) entered the scene. She sat next to me. She is attending the first function after her marriage. One aunty I wish to replace grannie to aunty. They are active & brisk than me. She turned & introduced herself to my co-sis & explained her elaborately how we were in a way related. Finally she ended saying “Hers is an arranged marriage” pointing at me. Now I know the game is going to start. My co-sis is love marriage & her face already turned red hearing that.Oh oh I said to myself. Now my co-sis as predicted bounced back saying how good it is to be loved & wedded to the loved one. We all listened in silence. She finally concluded arranged marriage is nothing but out of force two people live together & just because two side parents told us to live together. Its time for me step in & change her perception. I glanced at the aunty & said to myself “happy ah now”?

    I asked my co-sis whats in my hand? She leaned down & said kerchief.Ok whose you know. It looks like gents. Ya I nodded. I slowly opened & showed her sweet which was served during the lunch. My husband brought it because I like it! I opened my purse to show two beedas I brought because he liked it! Who told us? He fills my water bottle daily & places my umbrella near my handbag if it rains. I sew his shirt button before he says it’s broken. My eyes search for him in a crowd even though I know he wouldn’t be lost. He extends his permission just to drop me at off even though he knows I can go by auto. He comes home with tiffin if Im not well. I fill his Cheque for insurance & place in his bag with a reminder note. He turns back & leans when he is riding in traffic just to ensure my knee is not scratched. I stop if I realize door or roof is smaller than his height. I ensure when we travel not only the ticket availability but will his lengthy legs be comfortable. Who told us? Who told me to be in silence when his mom is in higher note? Who told him to accept blame just to save me for time being from his mom? When I see a baby cloth & when I receive a pat on my back who told him I m upset? I cheer him back cracking a joke my born to be kid must be bigger than this & it wouldn’t fit him just to make him smile. Who told us? After a lengthy fight we both receive sms after reaching off saying sorry. Who told us?

    Yes it’s true we two fight, yell, scream & even don’t talk for sometime.Intially we had hell lot of problems but as days went by we know the solutions is in our hands & it cannot come from outside. We are two different individual & we don’t have the same SOP’s or work instructions. Marriage is a unison that has brought us together.Havent you seen differently challenged couples? Love is the language of the heart. Love can never happen out of circumstance or as you say out of force. Any marriage to be successful it needs love as fuel. We never uttered the so called 3 words but still be in love. Yours is a love cum arranged marriage & mine is an arranged cum love marriage. What is there to feel superior or inferior about? Just move on I told her. She smiled & nodded. There came my husband with my lost hankie I exchange his helmet cap which he left…
    [JUSTIFY][/JUSTIFY]
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2010
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  2. chaitusri

    chaitusri Silver IL'ite

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    A simple answer for a very big question....love cum arranged or arranged cum love marriage. What is there to feel superior or inferior about?

    Very well narrated ambika :bowdown .LOVE -can bring together, can break forever
     
  3. suria

    suria Silver IL'ite

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    awesome awesome awesome:clap:clap.hats off to yo and yr hubby!!
    you have expressed the real meaning of a marriage!!:thumbsup i liked the way it goes " i asked my co-sis wats in my hand...til..helmet he left", very well expressed and written AMBIKA:2thumbsup:
     
  4. Raba

    Raba Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Ambika,

    Good one!:) . I agree with you there is nothing to feel superior or inferior about both ways of marriage.

    But even now there are lots of people who treat arranged marriage as a superior one.
    In fact, in love marriage the couple face lot of problems,
    In arranged marriage if the couples fight , everyone will come forward to solve it but in case of love marriage , if there is such issue, they will just add fuel "we told you earlier , this will not work"

    Even if the parents accept the love marriage, they always treat it as they have done a "big sacrifice" , for their loving child. This will create more problems in between the couple.


    sorry for my lecture:)


    You narrated very well ambika:cheers
     
  5. sujanags

    sujanags Gold IL'ite

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    Ambika,

    Beautiful narration from you. You explained it very well to your co-sis by giving examples and explaining instead of shouting. Everyone should read this post.
     
  6. amihere

    amihere Platinum IL'ite

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    Arranged marriage or love marriage, this is a chicken egg question...and the explanation you gave...its simply BEAUTIFUL...
     
  7. ambika04

    ambika04 Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you everybody.I m Emotionally constipated oh for the first time.:thumbsup No words to express how I feel.

    Yes Raba as you said there stigma but that why I said - Just move on.
     
  8. meenasankaran

    meenasankaran Platinum IL'ite

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    Ambika,

    Very heart-warming narration. You and your husband sound adorable and seem to have the magic formula for happiness and I wish you both many many more years of 'two bodies but one soul' kind of marriage.

    Reading your post made me feel good all over.:thumbsup Thanks for that.
     
  9. ambika04

    ambika04 Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you Meena Sankaran for your feedback & wishes.
     
  10. ubellah

    ubellah Bronze IL'ite

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    Very well written. I loved the way you expressed your love for each other.
    Kudos for handling the situation very diplomatically!!!
     

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