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Who takes care of your kids?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by asha_karthik, Feb 16, 2009.

Who takes care of your kids while you are away at work?

  1. Full time day care or school + after school day care (depending on the child's age)

    22 vote(s)
    30.1%
  2. Inlaws

    12 vote(s)
    16.4%
  3. Parents or other relatives

    18 vote(s)
    24.7%
  4. Full-time maid

    10 vote(s)
    13.7%
  5. Full-time or Part-time maid under the supervision of parents/inlaws/other relatives

    8 vote(s)
    11.0%
  6. Child old enough to stay at home alone after school

    3 vote(s)
    4.1%
  1. asha_karthik

    asha_karthik Silver IL'ite

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    Dear ladies..
    wanted to understand 2 things here -
    1) Who takes care of your kids while you are away at work?
    (a) Full time day care or school + after school day care (depending on the child's age)
    (b) Inlaws
    (c) Parents or other relatives
    (d) Full-time maid
    (e) Full-time or Part-time maid under the supervision of parents/inlaws/other relatives
    (f) Child old enough to stay at home alone after school

    2) Whatever be the answer to the poll - woud like to know if is this your preferred style of taking care of your children or would you suggest other methods for other working women, if there is a chance? Feel free to say why you think one is more advantageous than the other ways.
     
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  2. rithi

    rithi New IL'ite

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    my daughter goes to full-time day care. Maids, in-laws, parental help are not possible for us in US
     
  3. swathi14

    swathi14 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hai

    My Mother-in-law takes care of my 2 kids and as well as me(!!).



    Andal
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2009
  4. rithi

    rithi New IL'ite

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    Lucky you Andal !! Keep it up.

    Cheers,
    Rithi
     
  5. Young@heart

    Young@heart Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,
    I keep my two kids (6 years boy and 18 months girl) with full time maids. I have two maids. One who is working for me for 5 years now looks after the kids and the other one does all household jobs.
    It is a personal choice I have made to keep the kids with the maid and not my in-laws. I stay near to my office and go home for lunch (one and a half hours). Plus i keep on making surprise visits whenever possible. The time my kids spend per day without me is 4 hours.
    I am more at mental peace with this arrangement as the maids atleast do as directed and not try to overrule me.
    I was more worried at the time of my son but now with my daughter i am a bit relaxed as the son reports everything.
    To each his/her own but this arrangement suits me fine.
    Payal

    P.S. I am anxious to know your reply to your own post dear Asha_karthik. what you think is a good arrangement.
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2009
  6. asha_karthik

    asha_karthik Silver IL'ite

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    As rithi rightly said, you are lucky and so is your mil.. as i keep hearing similar things abt her in every forum of urs.. she is lucky to hv got u as her DIL too.

     
  7. asha_karthik

    asha_karthik Silver IL'ite

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    hi payal...
    i hv the first one 2.8 year old girl and one expected in july. this question was mainly to see how this issue is commonly seen amongst u ladies as i am deciding on how my second one needs to be taken care of.
    my inlaws do take good care of my girl, but some times overdo things.. in turn pampering her to the core. i am indeed grateful to them for what they hv done to me, but still, certain things are very disheartening. also overruling always happens like you said.
    for the 2nd one, i am thinking of introducing a 8am-7pm kind of a maid at home to take care of the kids, under the supervision of my inlaws. again needs to be worked out. so at this point, there is clearly no preferred way. i am just analysing all of them. thnx for asking..

     
  8. Young@heart

    Young@heart Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Asha_karthik,
    I can understand your trying to find the best possible solution. I will try to explain some things which I know/ learnt from my experience as both my maids timing is also 9 AM to 7 PM.
    The maids also pamper the child/children because they feel that if the child is happy, the mother will be happy with them. So you have to be very clear with the maid from day one about how you want things to be done.
    The chances with your commands being overruled by the maid also exist where she will be under the supervision of your in-laws because whole day she will have to stay with them. So to override this problem, if you do decide to keep a maid, keep one in your maternity leave only and make a routine for her by the time you rejoin work. Let her know what is exceptable to you and what is not. This will be a major help.

    I read your post "In-laws involvement in your parenting" and could empathise with you. To avoid that entirely is not possible in your case I think but definitely can be minimised by keeping a maid. Relax and Enjoy your pregnancy. Hope you find the solution which fits you the best!!!
    Love,
    Payal
     
  9. orion80

    orion80 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi,

    My daughter is 4 years old. She goes to school from 10:00 to 2:00 and then goes directly to daycare (run by the school management). We pick her up around 6:00. My husband has flexible work timings. So he can drop her at her school at 10:00 and then go to his office. I will pick her up after school.

    I have a maid for the household work. So dont need to worry about that :)

    -Lakshmi
     
  10. swathi14

    swathi14 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Rithi & Asha Karthi


    My MIL is a noble and gem of a person. If I start writing about her, it will go to pages. She has suffered a lot and still suffering.

    But she overcomes everything my her will power. I learnt a lot from her.

    She is more than a mother to me.


    Andal
     

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