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Who Normally Bears The Cost Of Sil's Travel?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by SadMarried, Aug 2, 2016.

  1. SadMarried

    SadMarried Silver IL'ite

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    My husband's sister just think its their brother responsibility to fulfill luxury of them and their family , either by asking for expensive gifts or asking to sponsor their luxury travel . They came here friday , we have been out whole weekend , today I'm working luckily from home and having some rest and hubby taking them out again.

    Now they want to go to Europe as well . So not only their travel to UK but also now their travel to Europe is going to be funded by us as well. I'm not liking it , but hubby is like doing anything that's coming out of their mouth. I cant relay my disappointment or disagreement to him without him going mad at me . And i just dont want any drama or stress in pregnancy and also when they are here. As much as i want to build happy home ,Hubby doing things out of the way and not considering even single of my opinion just distancing me away from him.

    Well we invited my parents once for my first delivery and also his parents came twice before then , we sponsored everything, but they are our parents , i would never object him from doing anything for his parents. Same goes for my parent too . He didnt say anything about tkt expense although they beared cost of visa and everything else . Inviting Siblings here for travel , i haven't thought abt that , my sisters would never expect us to bear any cost like that even if i do invite them .
     
  2. Nia

    Nia New IL'ite

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    I understand you better now, I am really sorry that you have to go through this. But as they have already arrived, nothing can be done. If you raise this issue now, you will be seen as someone who spoiled their holiday & DH may hold it against you. Can you keep busy to keep your mind free. This stress is not good for your health and thats the most worrying part. Hugs to you. @SadMarried
     
  3. shekhar84

    shekhar84 New IL'ite

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    OP..Sadly being a man i'm on the same boat as yours. I've financially funded my MIL for a trip abroad including Swiss and UK..However i've been reluctantly doing this thankless job, where she keeps mentioning to her relatives it's all due to her daughter..My wife keeps sending half of her salary to her step-mom every month without contributing barely anything to our house and bills...I'm financially running two families being exploited at the same time..Our arguments have now reached a breaking point.
     
  4. SadMarried

    SadMarried Silver IL'ite

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    I feel for you.

    In my case whatever i do is not good enough.I decided not to care about money he is spending on , now he is not happy abt minor things like me showing tiring face when his guests are around. He thinks im doing that to show disappointment , even if he knows im around 7 months pregnant and being tired is part of pregnancy, there's no pleasing him.
     
  5. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Since he is not going to be pleased regardless of what you do or don't do, why bother with getting a good certificate? Retire to your room at every available opportunity and let him deal. If your guests are clueless enough to visit and expect to be waited upon when you are heavily pregnant then they need to wake up and smell the coffee.
     
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  6. SadMarried

    SadMarried Silver IL'ite

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    I wish i could do that dear. even if im trying my best to please him and guests, he always complaints abt it, if i do something as u suggested , then he will blame me for rest of my life. He has habit of keeping grudges for yrs. Small things i have done8 yrs back, he still blames me on. Im really tired of all his blames and his hurtful words he uses against me in any single opportunity he gets. Im just waiting for these guests to go back, deliver this baby. And if his disrespect and blame continues, i might as well divorce him after my little girl will be at least 2 yrs. I feel very much emotionally abused. He does everything so cleanly so that no-one gets any hint how bad he is. so im sure ppl will blame me if i go down the route the route of divorce. but i will be in peace at least from all the blame, drama and emotional abuse. I feel like running away from him as soon as possible as far away as i can.
     
  7. SadMarried

    SadMarried Silver IL'ite

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    Well everyone works hard to earn and so as us ,and ppl have saving for their future and their kids. But that doesn't mean you lash out your hard earned saving on married sister and her husband luxury travel . Helping by some bits is fine , not taking full responsibility of everything related to their luxury . So there's a different between financial burden and priorities.
     
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  8. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Your husband sound like some one who can not be please no matter you do.
    Op its high time you start building your own life in USA.
    After being done with guest and baby look for work from home options.
     
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  9. kcb

    kcb IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear @SadMarried,

    You very well know where the problem is. Based on your previous threads I think the main problem is in your relationship with your H, as you mentioned your relationship with your DH is not in a good state and absolutely no understanding between you both. You cannot do anything to control the current happenings unless the problems between you and your DH resolves. I think your H want to show you that his family members are more important for him. This is a kind of technique to humiliate you.

    If you object him, then definitely there will be fights between you. So giving priority to your current health, its better to ignore his actions. This can save your mental peace. I know its really tough to ignore these kind of things, but just to keep peace at home better to be quite.

    As of now you concentrate on your health and baby. After the delivery you have to definitely work on your marriage.
     
  10. SadMarried

    SadMarried Silver IL'ite

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    Hi dear, thanks for your response.

    You are right in saying, he is never pleased with me no matter what i do.

    About working , i already work full time . 3 days a week work from home and 2 days i go to office,so im not financially dependent on him.
     

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