Who Is Right , Who's Wrong? Siblings Rivalry

@ashima10,

#68 is a wake up call for @Rihana to prepare her weapons and most likely we will move to chat forum.

 

WHY DO YOU CARE?

 

Greenbay - My hats off to you, while the the other in the wrong universe and in the "stone age" generation still collecting shiny pebbles.

 

Aren't more and more people finding their own mates? The world is changing; be a part of the change. When more and more people take that route society will change. With all the objections, parents do accept, especially - once they have grand kids. It is not uncommon anymore to find your own match.

Girls, get a good education, get to know and find the person of your choice. Make a wise decision as you have to be prepared to live with your choice. Therefore, be cautious. Think hard as to what you want out of life and in marriage. Find your happiness.

If parents accept your choice, they can get you married, if not arrange your own marriage with your partner and invite only the people who mean something to you. Ditch the gold and big wedding; save the money to invest in a place for your future.

 

So true ... instead of investing lakhs of money on wedding , it’s even better to invest in your own name or on some land. Cos if anything happens in marriage I don’t think any person who attended will come for help... And this thing should be accepted by both the parties . Even if one opposes then it’s of no use..

And there are cases like this .
Let’s say bride side parents do wedding with full grandeur , but after marriage when gal enters the house there are cases where they torture her to extract more money. So first mistake is gals parents should never invest so much in wedding alone. Because daughters future at inlaws place is uncertain. There are incidents where inlaws will keep all the money , gold etc and even throw the gal out of the house. So whatever money parents invested in wedding all gone !

And nowadays there are many cases where when gal moves with husband abroad after marriage. She is so helpless since she has no financial freedom and all her freedom is lost . They would have got bachelors or masters degree in India and would have worked and are financially independent.And they would have helped their parents who are not financially well off having no money left with her. Thinking anyways after marriage can work and save some for herself.

But after coming abroad all that is lost. They may not be able to work due to Visa issues.
If husband is good he will give her some money and card. In case of emergency she need not wait for her husband. She can utilise it immediately ..Lucky are those wives who get such wonderful husbands who treat their wives with respect.

But there are some husbands who are dominating and never share cards or give money to wife. So make wife dependent on him and make her a doormat .
Wat will happen to her?? Wife suffers in hell. She has got no friends in new country she has no job , no money.
She is lost in her own world , depressed which even affects her marriage.

And some might tell should have watched for red flags before marriage. But do you think if the guys are smart they will reveal their true colours before marriage ?? Not always ! They may be all nice that time . But only after entering their home and start living with husband true colours will be revealed...

So in that case if parents would have invested same money in gals name she can utilise some money for herself . She can get some currency from India and need not be dependent on such husbands .

Stuck in abusive relationships, some H-1B spouses seek outlet in work

PS: There May be good husbands and bad wives too but that’s different scenario altogether.

 

That is why it is time to change. Every one should take control of their lives and stop being dependent or a victim.
Get involved in the community and make a difference to bring about change. People change by seeing others.

As for those helpless wives, they need not be helpless. They may not be able to work; but they can go back to school.
They can chose not to marry a man from abroad. They can chose to be independent and find their own match.

 

Dint get you..going to school means??
And there are cases where abroad oppurtunity comes only after marriage .what to do in such cases? There can be kids too.Even then the woman is only affected

 

if you are in US, you can take classes at the university or community college. Perhaps, develop a new technical skill and get yourself ready for job market.

 

Never knew this :-(. Is it free?

 

You can be creative and work. Baby sit, cook for catering ....I can go on and on.
Don't have to depend on husband to give the money or card.